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More Precious Than Gold BY BABS
"Dr. Frasier," General Hammond said as Janet remained in the briefing room after the
senior staff meeting. "Did you have another concern?"
Janet looked at the file folders in front of her before meeting General
Hammond's gaze. "Actually, sir, I have three."
Hammond rubbed at his temples, feeling a headache build. He knew exactly
who it was: SG-1 or rather what used to be SG-1. He'd noticed that for
the past eighty-four days, people avoided referring to the team of
Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Teal'c and Jonas as SG-1 except in
an official capacity. Anyone referring to SG-1 those first awful days
after Daniel's, what was the term O'Neill had used, 'ascension' had received
a murderous glare from Daniel's surviving teammates. So people had
simply learned to stop referring to the team as a team.
O'Neill, Carter, and Teal'c had gathered close to themselves, allowing no one else to speak of Daniel in their presence. Within three days, Teal'c had moved his quarters into Dr.Jackson's former office. Anyone wishing to use any of Daniel's reference materials became used to the presence of the large Jaffa watching them intently.
After two weeks Hammond had sent them on a mission hoping that some life
would return to them, that they would begin to function as the unit they had
always been. Jonas had been eager to go on the mission. They'd walked
back through the Gate with their newest teammate and left him standing alone
in the Gate room while they went for their post mission checkups.
"I am quite concerned about Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, and Teal'c,"
Janet's voice cut into Hammond's worried thoughts. "I've placed Major Carter on
anti- depressants; however it was with the understanding that she would
see Dr. Bayley for counseling. She canceled the two appointments she
scheduled. Teal'c has reported to me that he is unable to achieve a proper state
of Kel-no-reem." Janet opened the third file folder. "And Colonel O'Neill,
well, Colonel O'Neill's blood pressure is higher than it should be. He
should also be on anti- depressants but he is refusing to even consider
that option."
"I could order..." Hammond began and stopped at Janet's raised hand.
"I know you could, General Hammond, and believe me, if I thought it would help
I would ask you to. But it won't. We can't give them what they need."
"Daniel," Hammond whispered.
"Exactly," Janet agreed. "Right now, I'm recommending that they all be put on
leave. At least for a week or two."
"I'll talk to them, Dr. Frasier," General Hammond said softly as he walked
her to the door. "I don't want to lose them too."
General Hammond looked at the three surviving members of SG-1 and gave an
inward sigh before beginning. "Dr. Frasier is quite concerned about all of
you."
He stopped, expecting a denial or some sort of argument, at least from Jack, but
they all sat just watching him. "She has asked that I put you all on leave."
That got a reaction, Major Carter sending a swift panicked glance to
her CO and reaching out to put a hand around Teal'c's forearm, her nails
digging into his skin.
"Sir, you can't," Carter whispered. "You don't understand. I need to be here,
to work."
"I do understand, Major Carter," Hammond said soothingly.
"No, I'm sorry sir, you don't." Jack stood up. "You don't understand a fucking
thing. Do you know what it's like having to walk through the Gate with him,
with Jonas? Do you have any idea?"
Hammond was relieved in a strange sort of way that Jack was yelling. At least
it showed there was some emotion in a man he'd thought had buried all
feeling. "Son, I know he's not Dr. Jackson. I know no one can ever take Dr.
Jackson's place."
"No, he's *not* Daniel! He won't ever fucking take Daniel's place." Jack ran a
shaking hand through his hair. "Every time we turn around, every time we look
at him, we remember Daniel because he was there when Daniel..."Jack sat
down abruptly, his legs seemingly unable to hold him any longer, his
breathing harsh.
"Pineapple broccoli pizza, " Jack whispered. Hammond heard Carter give a soft sob,
Teal'c murmuring a quiet word. "We tried to have pizza together last night. You know, like old times. And I ordered the large cheese pizza for Teal'c and Carter and the half pepperoni/sausage, half pineapple/ broccoli for me and Daniel. I used to tease him about it, George, tell him that you weren't supposed to eat fruit on a pizza." Jack leaned forward, his head in his hands.
There was silence in the office for a long time until finally General Hammond
spoke once more. "I think you all need the leave."
"Then let us go offworld sir," O'Neill said, after a glance at his teammates.
"Off world?" Hammond asked. "Where?" He was pretty sure they were going to say
Abydos, perhaps the place they would feel closest to Daniel, and he knew he
would give them what they wanted if it meant he'd have his best team back in
the end.
General Hammond would never be able to explain it later, that quick look all
three gave each other before saying in unison, "Kheb."
Jack sat cross legged and alone in the room where an amazed Daniel had once
shown him he could make fire with just a thought. He knew that Carter and
Teal'c were somewhere outside. Carter probably wandering in the overgrown
garden, saying she felt closest to Daniel there,Teal'c probably watching her
from a respectful distance.
"Oh God, Danny," Jack whispered, the pain of loss still as raw as it had been
three months ago, "we.. I miss you so much."
He turned his head back and screamed his anger and grief into the silent
room."Dammit, Daniel! Why?" And then as quickly as the anger appeared, it left him,
to be replaced by cold emptiness. "Oma?" Jack asked in a quiet voice. "Oma
Desala? Please?" Jack found himself almost begging. And then he just sat, letting himself be numb.
Jack wondered if he had fallen asleep because it seemed that a long time had passed,
but now the room was filled with a warm glowing presence that coalesced into human form. "Danny?" Jack said, getting to his feet, hoping against hope for one more moment with his friend.
"No," a voice said softly, a woman's form. "I would not allow him to come."
"Oh," Jack said, looking at the floor, wondering if she knew his disappointment. He looked at Oma Desala then, needing to know, to reassure himself if nothing else. "Is he okay? Is he happy?"
Oma gave a small smile. "I believe you would say he is content." Then she gave a
small frown at Jack's expression. "What troubles you?"
"We miss him. I miss him," Jack choked. "I need him more than I knew, more than
I ever realized. I love him," Jack stated with simple finality.
"Ah," Oma said, "So you wish him to return to you for your own selfish
reasons."
Jack felt suddenly ashamed of his need. "If that's what you call it, then yes."
He took a step towards her. "Why won't you let me see him? Why wouldn't
you let him come?"
"If Daniel decides to return to you, to reclaim his human form, would it be fair
for you to influence him? To make him see your need?" she asked.
Jack shook his head immediately and knew this was true. If Daniel didn't want to
return, if Daniel was happy, then Jack vowed he would accept it, because he
realized with sudden clarity, that was what Jack wanted, to see Daniel happy and
loved and free of all the pain he'd experienced in his short life. Then
Jack sat once more on the floor and remembered Daniel in this place and
smiled and waited.
The voice came on a whisper of wind, warm tendrils of a spring-like breeze
caressing Jack's neck and face. "He wishes to return to his mortal form. He
is aware of the cost."
"The cost?" Jack felt his heart pound. Please let it not be to return to the awful
pain Daniel had felt those last days.
"We cannot allow him to retain the memories of his time with us. We must remove
them," Oma said gently.
"He won't remember anything?" Jack whispered.
"Human memories are a wondrous and fragile thing. What matters is that Daniel
chooses, not you, Jack O'Neill, but that he chooses. You loved him
enough to let him go once when he was in great pain. That was a gift you gave
him. He knows this. The cost to him does not seem so great," Oma's
voice whispered. "Now, let your heart find him. He is a precious treasure.
Take good care of him."
"I will," Jack heard himself whisper to the empty room, and then he found himself
running outside into the overgrown garden, startling Carter and Teal'c. He heard them following him, all of them silent except for the sound of their clothes brushing against the grasses and flowers. Jack stopped at the center of the garden, his mouth dry. A man lay there, naked and
curled into a small ball. He stepped closer and stopped, afraid for the smallest instant. But then love overtook fear, and he felt Carter and Teal'c with him as they moved as one.
Jack knelt by the man, reached out a hand, wishing he could stop its trembling,
and the man's head turned towards him.
Blue eyes opened and a hand came up to touch Jack's face, brushing away tears
Jack didn't even realize were there. "Jack?" Daniel asked and then he swallowed before an small smile spread from his mouth to his eyes, eyes filled with love and said in a stronger voice, "Jack." His eyes moved past Jack and fixed on the others. "Sam. Teal'c."
And then there was no need for any other words as they gathered Daniel into
their embrace.
General Hammond stood, stunned, as not three but four figures appeared in the
event horizon. His heart began pounding and he felt his mouth go dry. It
couldn't be, it just couldn't be. He remembered the first mission after...well,
after Dr. Jackson was gone. For just an instant when SG-1 had returned
through the Gate, he'd seen them as they had been. Not that Jonas looked anything like Daniel. It had just been habit, expectation of what he'd been seeing for five years. But now Jonas was standing off to the side, and Hammond swore that he was seeing things. A familiar figure stood
between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, his hands tightly holding one each of
theirs. Teal'c stood behind the figure, his hand on the man's shoulder. Hammond vaguely noticed someone on the phone, calling Dr. Frasier to the Gate room no doubt.
He'd taken a step forward before he even realized it. "Dr. Jackson?" he whispered.
Jack O'Neill was grinning, at odds with the tears that had frozen on his cheeks in
the utter cold of Gate travel.
"Look who we brought home with us, General Hammond," Jack tried to joke
before a sob overtook him.
Daniel Jackson looked at his friend and frowned, shaking his head, and then
gave a sigh of relief when Jack pulled himself together and smiled back at
him.
"Daniel?" Janet Frasier squeaked beside General Hammond and then she rushed to
them, her hands touching his face. "Daniel! How...what..." And then her
doctor persona took over. "We need to get to the infirmary."
General Hammond watched them follow her, the team still moving as one, all of
them touching Daniel in some way. It was only then he noticed the entire
room was completely silent.
"They are fine," Janet assured Hammond some two hours later. "Daniel appears
to be in excellent health although he has no memory of the past six months,
certainly none of what happened to him when..." She stopped, clearing
her throat, wishing she could get rid of those memories as well. "They're
all sleeping. I think this might be the first decent night's sleep any of
them have had for months." She smiled broadly then and gestured to General
Hammond. "Come here," she motioned with a hand, "I have something I want to show
you." She led the way into a small room.
Hammond smiled at the sight before him. Daniel Jackson lay in the hospital bed,
Jack O'Neill squeezed sideways on the bed beside him, his back tight against
the bed rail. Daniel's head rested on Jack's chest, one of Jack's arms
snaking around him. Teal'c sat near the head of the bed, deep in a meditative
state, one large dark hand clutching Daniel's free hand tightly, the
other resting on Daniel's chest. Major Carter was down at the foot of the
bed, blond head pillowed on one arm on the bed, her other hand curled around
Daniel's ankle.
"They can't be comfortable like that," General Hammond whispered.
"That's what liniment is for," Janet whispered back. "This is what they all
need right now." She moved closer, brushing her hand over Daniel's forehead.
"He seems to need their touch. They need to touch him. I think they're all a little afraid that this is all a dream." She gave a low laugh. "I had to examine him with all the others holding on to him."
As if Janet's and Hammond's voices had disturbed him, Daniel lifted up his
head a little and looked out of sleepy blue eyes.
"General?" he asked.
"Yes, son?" Hammond moved closer.
Daniel smiled at him. "I was far away, I think. I wanted to come home. I
missed.." He stopped to yawn and put his head back on Jack's chest. "Home.
Good to be home," he whispered before dropping off to sleep again.
"Amen to that, Dr. Jackson," General Hammond said, stroking Daniel's head
once before stepping away from the bed. There would be things to take care
of, but that could wait until later. For now all that mattered was that Dr.
Daniel Jackson was back where he belonged.
FINIS
Feedback is gratefully appreciated; please contact me at babs@jd-divas.com
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