"Lighten
up, Daniel," Jack advised him quietly. "Your twenty questions
routine with the Queen of Mean scored us the D'ahin vegetarian special,
which was almost edible. We're all still alive even if we are
freezing our asses off, and every minute that passes is a minute closer
to Hammond sending in the Marines."
"My
ass is nice and warm, thank you," Sam said sleepily. She wriggled
against Daniel teasingly. "Unlike my feet."
Food
may have been forthcoming after Daniel put on a suitable performance
for Errys, but heat wasn't. SG-1 were huddled together on the
floor, sharing as much body heat as possible. Teal'c lay in a state of
deep Kel'No'Reem, facing the tantalising open doorway with Sam spooned
up tightly against his back. Daniel lay with his back to Sam's,
and Jack lay facing him, which allowed Jack to watch the door while
Daniel watched Errys, and all the aliens watched them. At this
point, only the aliens appeared to be able to see anything. It
was pitch dark in the chamber.
Daniel
was glad Sam had recovered her equanimity. She had found it
extremely difficult to have to relieve herself surrounded by enemies
watching and weighing her every move. Daniel was less than
thrilled himself. In counterpoint to their modesty, Jack had
casually unbuttoned his fly and pissed right in front of Errys' throne.
"Sir,
I've been thinking."
"I'd
be shocked if you ever stopped, Carter," Jack responded as he usually
did, the sarcasm automatic.
It
was surreal situation. Sam was chastely spooning, hugging
herself, while Daniel lay with Jack's legs wrapped around his,
discreetly holding hands between their bodies.
"I
think the sensors triggering the walk-way to the dais detect scents,"
Sam said thoughtfully, "and right now they're programmed only to
respond to Errys. None of the other aliens are triggering the
device, and we've seen them to-ing and fro-ing with some regularity."
"Comfort
breaks and hot dogs," Jack commented, his sarcasm biting.
"I
also think that's why some of our clothing was taken," Sam
suggested. "just as you would give clothing to a dog to learn a
person's scent."
"To
programme our scent into the security system?" Jack asked, interested.
"Possibly,"
Sam agreed.
"The
D'ahin themselves are very focused on sensory perception," Daniel
added. "Their olfactory and visual acuity is exceptional, their
cultural focus possibly experiential rather than iconic."
"Daniel
means they're getting their rocks off from the live SG-1 action instead
of staying home watching TV like decent sentient species," Jack
informed Sam.
"Daniel,"
Daniel snapped, "means the purity of line and severe simplicity of the
architecture suggests the D'ahin aren't interested in the decorative
arts or abstract visual representations." He allowed himself to
be mollified by some affectionately conciliating cheek nuzzling from
Jack.
"How
does that help us?" Sam asked.
"It
doesn't, not materially," Daniel admitted, slightly embarrassed.
"I'm just trying to find a hook, something about us that Errys can
connect with."
"She
connected with your nipples just fine earlier," Sam retorted
coldly. "She practically mauled you right in front of us."
Jack
went from nuzzling to twanging with tension almost instantaneously.
"We're
a different species," Daniel suggested nervously, making with a little
conciliating nuzzling of his own.
"Daniel,"
Sam sighed, then bit off whatever she was going to say. Her hand
clumsily patted his hip.
"It
- it's just my scent." Daniel wasn't sure who he was trying to
convince here. "Just my scent," he said again, appealing to Jack,
who found the way Daniel smelled deeply arousing. Although to be
fair, Jack found most things about Daniel deeply arousing.
Unseen
in the darkness by anyone who mattered to them, Jack swiftly kissed the
tip of Daniel's nose. "You've gotta quit wearing that Issy
Miyake," Jack warned him softly, a smile sounding in his voice.
"We
still don't know anything about their societal structure," Daniel went
on, holding Jack's hand tighter.
"We
still don't know much about their species full stop," Sam
interjected. "Errys is the only female we've seen. Why?"
"Who
says these guys are guys?" Jack added. "They could be drones for
all we know."
Daniel
had a glimmer of an idea. He kept coming back to the D'ahin's
sensory acuity. "You know our - human - physiology may be
just as receptive to chemical messages as that of other mammals?"
"It's
a known fact that women in close proximity will synchronise their
menstrual cycle," Sam agreed, "something researchers have attributed to
the same kind of chemical stimulus that triggers oestrus in mice."
"Let's
not go there, Carter!" Jack ordered briskly.
"Janet
referred to the accessory olfactory system," Daniel told them.
"It begins with the vomeronasal organs - tiny sacs in the nasal cavity
- that are wired straight into what Janet referred to as the
'reptilian' part of the brain."
"I
remember this," Sam murmured. "Humans tend to lose olfactory
acuity because we have so many environmental stimuli competing for the
brain's attention. The accessory olfactory system sends signals
to the part of the brain that controls reproduction and maternal
behaviour."
"In
humans…" Daniel wriggled uncomfortably, something Jack appeared
to enjoy, catching his breath, then squeezing Daniel's hand
warningly. "It's an alternate route to the brain, right?"
"That's
right," Sam agreed. "It bypasses the cerebral cortex, which means
we have no conscious awareness of it at all. There are sensory
receptors in the noses of rodents which allow them to receive and
respond to a range of social and sexual signals. With humans, the
role pheromones play is much less clear. Our behaviour isn't
stereotypical like that of insects or even the lower mammals on which
the research is based."
"Our
culture places such a low value on olfaction we've never developed a
proper vocabulary for it," Daniel said softly. "In 'A Natural
History of the Senses', poet Diane Ackerman explained that it's almost
impossible to describe a scent to someone who hasn't smelled it.
We can name every shade in a hue of colour, but there are no words for
the tones and tints of a smell, even though humans can detect over ten
thousand odorants."
"Is
this going somewhere?" Jack asked impatiently.
"I
think so." Daniel bit his lip, thinking about each of their
encounters with Errys. "If our bodies emit chemicals the D'ahin
can scent - responses to these social and sexual signals we aren't
aware of - and they're aroused by them, excited…"
"A
narcotic AND an aphrodisiac!" Sam said excitedly. "I know where
you're going with this, Daniel. Errys…"
"Is
deliberately provoking specific behaviours in us to…"
"Trigger
our bodies to release the chemicals that excite them."
"Fear."
"Aggression."
"You
two could open an act in Vegas," Jack informed them after a brief,
contemplative pause. "You're saying we're just performance art to
these creepy voyeurs?"
"I
think so. I'm not sure," Daniel said tightly. Not sure
enough to risk their lives on it. Jack's finger stroked
soothingly over Daniel's palm.
"If
it is right, and it all kinda fits, it occurs to me that once we stop
responding to Errys' bluffs, this is going to get very real, kids,"
Jack soberly warned them. "To scent our fear, Errys will have to
make us afraid."
There
was a deflated silence.
"Errys
is drawn to you, Daniel, maybe because out of all of us, you're the
most emotional," Jack said gently. "You're…passionate."
"Oh."
"That's
not a bad thing," Sam assured Daniel earnestly. "It's worked for
us many times before."
"You
care about us all," Jack added warmly. "Hell, we care too much
about each other. SG-1 is like a frigging 'all you can snort
buffet' to these assholes."
"They're
- getting off - on all of us," Sam bit the words off. "Our fear
for ourselves and each other, our anger and pain, singling us out one
at a time to provoke the strongest possible reactions from all of us."
"I
guess they've had practice, Carter."
Daniel
shuddered at the thought.
"How
do we use this against them, Sir?" Sam asked. "If this is
something they need, then it's a vulnerability."
"We
can't control our bodies, Sam," Daniel reminded her. "We aren't
even consciously aware of these chemical signals we're sending out."
"Putting
out, more like," Jack bitched.
The
frustrated silence got…crowded.
"Perhaps
a controlled experiment," Sam suggested in a wooden little voice that
made it plain she was strictly a non-participant observer of said
experiment.
"How
controlled?" Jack asked carefully.
"We
just need to determine if the D'ahin are affected by sexual arousal in
any way we can use to our advantage," Sam responded, just as
carefully. "I had to pee in front of them, Sir," she added with a
marked lack of sympathy for whoever was about to join her on the
All-Humiliation Network.
"So
did I!" Jack complained.
"I
didn't enjoy it."
"Carter,
are you seriously suggesting I just whip out my - sidearm - and…"
"Yes,
Sir."
"Why
doesn't Daniel…"
"Sir!"
Sam hissed, outraged.
Daniel
smiled somewhat smugly at his colonel. It vanished abruptly when
Jack pulled Daniel's hand down to cup his crotch. Daniel's groin
tightened reflexively as Jack got hard, which he always did when Daniel
touched him, a pang of arousal striking in the pit of Daniel's
stomach. Jack rubbed himself against Daniel's hand, leaning in
suddenly to rest his forehead against Daniel's. The intense eyes
so close to his mesmerised Daniel; he was barely aware of the murmur
that ran through the watchers.
"Tahlen!"
Errys groaned. "O'Neill! Im'da Daniel," she ordered imperiously,
the watchers adding their voices to hers. "Daniel do'este amente
se frene nen! Im'da!"
"Daniel
is hot stuff and I should fuck him," Jack translated in case they
didn't get that.
"Errys
would naturally be more excited by male arousal than female," Sam said
coolly, appearing to get it just fine. "My heart bleeds."
Daniel's
decision was that none of them were getting any.
"Sorentir,
Daniel!" Errys spat. "Teal'c ne Carter a vestae Rohan. Ne…"
she paused threateningly. "Do'este amente vos tahlen O'Neill."
"You
will not choose, DanielJackson."
"Have
a good nap?" Jack enquired with heavy sarcasm.
"I
begin to heal," Teal'c smoothly acknowledged. "You will give
Errys nothing, DanielJackson, least of all your honour. We are as
one in this."
"Oh,
yeah!" Jack agreed emphatically.
They
were exhausted, dehydrated and cold, their injuries making them stiff,
slow and scarily clumsy, but they made it up, Sam and Teal'c sitting
proudly back to back with Daniel and Jack.
"We
give the D'ahin nothing," Jack instructed.
"Except
attitude," Sam said crisply.
Daniel
was warmed as much by his friends' defiance as by their presence.
"You have to choose," he whispered to Jack. "As team leader, you
have to choose."
"This
is different," Jack snapped.
"How
is it different?"
"Daniel!"
"No,
seriously, Jack. Please. How is it different?" Daniel
persisted, wanting to understand more of a burden of responsibility
he'd never really questioned before. "You give us orders every
day, Jack, you make choices knowing they could get us killed. I
mean, we trust you to do it, but…"
"No,"
Jack contradicted. "I trust you to do it. I can't lead
where my team won't follow. Like now. I could order Carter
out that open door right now, but without a realistic expectation of
being able to reach the gate and effect a rescue, she won't take it."
"Damn
straight she won't," Sam said smartly. "We don't leave our people
behind."
"Nor
would you give such an order, O'Neill." Teal'c sounded amused.
"Separating
us is exactly what this bitch wants," Jack went on. "Are you
seriously telling me no one ever fell for that ploy? She knows
exactly what it does to people not to know what's happening to their
friends. What you don't know, you imagine, and what you do to
yourself is always far worse than what can be done to you. If she
splits us up, she gets everything she wants from all of us, including
whoever walked out the door. The threat you don't see is the one
that kills you."
Daniel
could only dimly see Jack's face, but what little he could see was
deservedly smug.
"Take
that from a guy who learned poker from his Nana."
"We
sit tight and just say no until we're rescued?" Daniel asked, tabling a
talk about Jack's Nana until they were home in bed. Preferably
with Jack in Daniel.
"No
speaka da lingo," Jack tossed out insouciantly.
"Looks
like you get to explain that in person, Sir," Sam warned them.
"We've got company."
"On
your feet," Jack ordered his team.
They
took up defensive positions, waiting stoically as Errys stormed onto
the dais. She stopped, scenting the air.
"Looks
like we confused her. Let's keep it that way," Jack tersely
instructed. "Any of you kids play dodge ball?"
"Sir?"
"Keep
your asses moving, Carter."
The
four of them spread out on the dais as Errys stalked into the
centre. She'd taken them easily the first time, but they hadn't
known what they were facing. It wouldn’t be so easy this time.
Sam
darted across to Teal'c's place, startling Errys, who then had to watch
Teal'c march over to take Sam's vacated spot, staring Errys down every
step of the way.
Daniel
started towards Jack, turned on his heel abruptly and headed back to
Teal'c. The two of them crossed their arms - Teal'c's behind his
back, Daniel's across his chest - and stood staring blandly at Errys.
"Making
her look bad in front of her guys is going to piss her off, you'll
forgive the pun, royally," Jack suggested pleasantly.
"Daniel!"
Errys spat.
"Nah,"
Daniel said coolly, remembering her refusal of him earlier.
Errys
nodded calmly, then charged Sam, the many layers of her robes flowing
out behind her.
Sam
moved into Errys' path, first grabbing the alien woman's shoulders,
then dropping to her ass, her bare foot planted solidly in Errys'
stomach. As Sam rolled backwards, she straightened her leg,
flipping Errys over her head, scrambling up instantly to stamp hard on
Errys' hand. Sam's attack faltered as she cried out, stumbling
back, unable to touch her foot to the floor.
No
vestae this time, Daniel realised grimly. Errys wasn't
controlling her secretion of the venom. Teal'c and Jack were
crossing the dais at a dead run, Jack stripping off his T-shirt as he
ran. Daniel pulled off his own and ran forward to help his
friends.
Errys
leapt to her feet, snatching Sam's bare arms. Sam yelled in
agony, reaching out to grab a fistful of Errys' braids, then smacked
her forehead hard into Errys', both of them reeling back, dazed.
Jack
smashed into Errys' side, sending her stumbling into the wall that was
Teal'c. She recovered fast, lashing out at Teal'c's face.
He blocked her punch with his forearm, his face twisting as his skin
burned, but he didn't back down.
His
T-shirt wrapped around his hands, Jack grabbed Errys' wrist as Daniel
arrived to take the other. She fought them, was so strong they
could barely hold on to her, suddenly using them as leverage to kick
out viciously at Teal'c, catching him hard on the thigh before he could
evade her. Grunting in pain, Teal'c staggered.
Errys
screamed suddenly, her left leg buckling.
Startled,
Daniel looked behind him to see Sam, grey-faced and grim, hopping
painfully back. He realised she'd kicked Errys in the kneecap,
possibly dislocating it, from the way Errys was unable to take her
weight on that leg.
"Now!"
Jack roared, dragging Errys forward.
The
silent watchers in the shadows were scrambling to their feet, running
for the narrow walk-way that led on to the dais, realising at last
their leader was about to die.
Sam
took Teal'c's place behind Jack and Daniel as they wrestled and shoved
Errys towards the edge of the dais.
Meanwhile,
Teal'c ran for the walk-way that spanned the chasm. "I will hold
these, O'Neill," he promised.
"How
far down did you say this fucker was?" Jack demanded, his menacing tone
unmistakeable to Errys.
"Nah!
Nah!" Errys cried, still fighting desperately. She jerked her
hand free and struck at Jack. He dodged her fist, barely, closing
in fast to punch her hard in the face.
Daniel
heard her cheekbone snap.
"D'ahin!"
she roared.
"NAH!"
Daniel yelled. "Nah vestae, nah vestae!" he called urgently to
the watchers as he and Jack dangled Errys over the edge of the dais,
her feet scrabbling for purchase on the smooth wall behind her.
"Im'da Rohan ne nah vestae!"
"Im'da
Rohan!" Sam called out as Teal'c poised himself to meet the threat at
the walk-way. "Im'da Rohan!" Her higher-pitched voice
echoed around the chamber.
"If
the bitch doesn't crack, we drop her," Jack warned Daniel.
He
nodded reluctantly, acknowledging the hateful necessity. His
attempts at meaningful communication had utterly failed. The
irony was they were in fact struggling to hold her up. The way
Errys was struggling, she was likely to take them with her.
Jack
took a handful of braids and jerked Errys' head brutally up to face
him. "Im'da Rohan," he purred menacingly.
"Ne
nah vestae," Daniel supplied helpfully.
Jack
simply loosened his grip. Errys slid a few inches, screaming in
fright.
"I
think she gets it now."
Daniel
hoped she got it quick, because his knees were shaking and whatever
Errys was secreting was slowly seeping through the wrapped T-shirt from
the friction.
"Sorentir!"
Jack ordered icily, letting her slip another inch or so.
Daniel
could only be glad of the slim, strong arms slipping tight around his
waist, the bracing body behind him. Sam.
"Vestae,"
Errys spat. "Im'da Rohan, D'ahin."
The
watchers fell back instantly, clearing a path to the doorway leading
out of the chamber.
Teal'c
at once began to walk across to it.
Sam
hauled Daniel back, helping him and Jack lift Errys back onto the
dais. Jack shifted his grip on his T-shirt, wrapped it again
around his hand, then took Errys' hand in his, twisting it back behind
her at an odd angle. She gasped out in pain, instinctively
leaning forward.
"Walkies."
"Jack!"
Daniel hissed in supreme irritation.
Jack
incorrigibly winked at him.
Shaking
his head in disbelief, Daniel slid his arm around Sam and helped her to
limp after Jack. "I can carry you?" he offered.
Sam
shook her head. "Not safe, Daniel. Not even close."
Teal'c
led them out of the chamber, Jack forcing Errys to walk ahead of him,
Sam and Daniel turning to cover the rear. One of the watchers
walked in front of Teal'c, clearly leading the way, beckoning them
forward.
They
walked down a short hallway, then out onto a narrow bridge that spanned
a gorge. The tower they had been imprisoned in was perched at the
top of a pinnacle that stood out from a cliff's edge. Dawn was
breaking. Daniel didn't hear the boom of waves below. In
the misty light, he glimpsed green. And then he did hear a sound,
a too-familiar sound, volley after volley of P-90 fire crashing through
the crisp, cool air. He sagged in relief, grateful only that they
wouldn't have to fight their way back to the gate.
General
Hammond had come through for them, like always.
"Close
the iris!" Hammond ordered Sgt. Davis as Jack and Daniel staggered into
the gate room, the last to come through. Errys was on her knees,
cursing them to their graves on the other side of the gate.
Daniel
sought out Sam and Teal'c in the melee at the foot of the ramp.
Teal'c stood at Sam's side, holding her carefully as she balanced
awkwardly against him, her burnt foot balanced on the tip of her big
toe. The med techs were rushing into the gate room, Janet
striding in behind them ready to conduct triage. She headed
straight for Teal'c and Sam while the med techs swarmed around the
members of SG-2 who'd been burned by the aliens dogging their trail
during the slow retreat to the Stargate.
As
Hammond came up the ramp towards them, Jack swayed. Daniel
grabbed him around the waist, pulling Jack's arm around his
shoulders. Jack leaned gratefully into him.
"Colonel?"
Hammond queried, his customary calm tones roughened with anxiety.
Jack
looked up the general, opened his mouth, hesitated, then shook his head
blearily.
Hammond
patted Jack's shoulder understandingly. "We'll debrief after Dr.
Fraiser has treated you all," he offered compassionately.
Janet's
heels clattered on the ramp as she trotted up to check them out.
Two of the med techs headed purposefully for Jack.
"We're
fine!" Daniel snapped.
Janet
looked at him consideringly, then briskly assigned her team to assist
the team she'd assigned to get Major Carter onto the stretcher, a
simple task which seemed to be developing into a fracas Sam was
currently winning.
Jack
rallied enough to make a lame-assed joke about Sam having too much
testosterone.
"How
is Sam?" Daniel asked anxiously.
"She's
sustained minor injuries," Janet answered soothingly, slipping behind
him to check Jack out.
"Ow!"
Jack whined.
"I
haven't touched you yet," Janet retorted in a brisk 'don't be such a
baby' tone.
Jack
smirked at Daniel. "Sign writing a speciality," he told Janet.
She
emerged from behind him looking pensive. "Did you lose
consciousness?"
"A
few seconds."
Daniel
snorted.
Janet
nodded, removing her penlight to check Jack's pupils. "I'll take
an X-Ray to be sure," she told him. "Though you managed a
three-hour forced march with very little difficulty," she commented
mildly, eyeing Daniel's supportive embrace thoughtfully.
It
finally occurred to Daniel that if Jack was looking for sympathy, it
wouldn't be from Janet. Not when there was a sucker much closer
to hand. He could only be grateful there were cameras directly
above them, or the hand would probably be on his ass.
"Exhaustion,"
Jack said blandly, leaning for effect.
"I'll
get you a stretcher," Janet offered sweetly.
The
familiar bustle of the infirmary was soothing. Janet was
delicately cleaning the burn on Daniel's face, preparatory to dressing
it.
With
her now cleaned and dressed foot elevated on a cushion, Sam lay
stretched out on the next bed, her fingers clasped over her stomach,
staring at nothing in particular.
Teal'c
stoically sat on the bed behind Sam's patiently enduring having his
burns cleaned. There was only so much Janet was prepared to admit
Junior could take care of without her assistance.
Jack
was sitting on the bed at Daniel's side.
"You're
all very quiet," Janet observed as she accepted the dressing her nurse
handed her and settled it carefully over Daniel's burn. "This
will heal well, Daniel," she promised. "Without scarring.
Sam's wounds too."
"That’s
good to know," Jack answered, surfacing from whatever reverie he'd been
in.
"We
did the right thing, DanielJackson," Teal'c said.
Sam
looked across at Daniel too, peering past Janet. "I know it
wasn't what you would have chosen, Daniel," she said gently. "For
what it's worth, I'm proud of you. We needed you…you were there
for us, no question."
"As
it should be," Teal'c approved, smiling at Daniel.
"Nothing
new there," Jack said sharply, bristling a little. His fingers
clenched white-knuckled on his thigh for a moment, then he consciously
relaxed, apparently aware of Janet's sharp eyes on him. On all of
them.
"I
failed," Daniel contradicted softly. "Completely. My job -
my function on the team is to communicate. I failed to do that."
"You
did good from where I was sprawling after getting my butt kicked," Jack
snapped, scowling at him.
"I
don't mean translating," Daniel retorted impatiently. "Any five
year old can point at themselves and say 'my name is' or 'je m'appelle'
or whatever. I mean communicating, Jack. I learned the
meaning of a few D'ahin words but I didn't share anything with
Errys. I couldn't establish commonality, except in
violence." He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at
the floor as Janet backed off to stand watchfully beside Sam.
"Get
your ass back on that bed, Major," Janet ordered without looking around.
Sam
froze in her attempt to sit up, pulled a resentful face and flopped
back down.
"Carter
was going to thank you for saving our lives, but I guess that's tabled
for now," Jack told Janet dryly.
Janet
looked round at Sam, startled.
"It's
true," Sam agreed, looking marginally less pissed off at the
universe. "Remember the research you told Daniel and me
about? The accessory olfactory system?"
"Vomeronasal
cavities in humans!" Janet brightened up. "Sure!"
"Daniel
remembered it at a critical time and we were able to figure out between
us what was going on with the D'ahin," Sam told her. She smiled
at Daniel over Janet's shoulder.
"Well,
I'm glad I could help," Janet said a tad doubtfully.
Sam
took Janet's hand affectionately for a moment. "I'll fill you in
later," she promised.
"It
was good work, you two," Jack praised Daniel and Sam warmly.
"I
too have observed how often solutions can be found in science instead
of in battle," Teal'c agreed respectfully, smiling at his friends.
"Not
this time," Daniel sadly reminded them. "Science only got us so
far. We didn't learn anything except how to take Errys out," he
went on. "And all Errys learned was to hit the next travellers
she takes prisoner that much harder, and sooner. We taught her to
be more careful in future, but we didn't teach her to stop."
"Nothing
could, Daniel," Jack said slowly.
Daniel
looked across at him, seeing the sorrow in Jack's eyes, his regret that
they'd been through this. He saw responsibility as well, reached
out automatically to take Jack's hand, to comfort him. Jarringly,
he remembered who and where they were, his hand falling to the
mattress, lying useless between them, plucking nervously at the blanket.
"No
one could have done more," Daniel faithfully promised Jack. "No
one." Some of the tightness eased from Jack's eyes.
When
they could be alone, Daniel would make sure Jack understood that he
didn't fault him for the way things had gone down. The whole team
had acted as one, in defence. Their lives had depended on
it. Daniel was very clear on that.
He
had changed, but he couldn’t wholly regret it. He'd learned on
Abydos that he could kill for an ideal, for freedom. He'd learned
with SG-1 that he could kill - and die - for his friends. Maybe
none of it was right, but it was part of who Daniel was now. His
friends were part of him and he loved them dearly.
It
distressed him that he was unable to find any redeeming qualities in
the D'ahin, that he didn't even feel particularly guilty about meeting
violence with violence instead of empathy and compassion. He'd
taken the path of least resistance with his team and wasn't sure what
that meant for him, if the change in him went this deep, or if this was
in reaction to a situation he hoped never to see his friends subjected
to again.
"I
learned something," Sam spoke up. "I mean - it's not the first
time something like this has happened to us. Remember the
Gamekeeper? And the time we were memory stamped?" She lay
quietly for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
"Even
Jolinar had a purpose for using me," Sam said at last. "I guess
in meeting Errys I gained some perspective on those experiences.
Even the Gamekeeper was acting in what he believed to be the best
interests of his people. The D'ahin though - they do it for
kicks." Sam's face twisted in revulsion. "They're not
forced to use other species by physiology that won't allow them to
survive without a host. It's not a matter of survival or a belief
system for the D'ahin. They take for pleasure. It's
despicable."
"We
don't know what the D'ahin lifespan is," Daniel mused.
"Errys
looked to be in her prime," Teal'c said grimly.
"I
don't understand?" Janet queried carefully, looking at each of them in
turn, clearly concerned about them all.
"Daniel
means we've no idea how many people died before we were captured," Jack
supplied.
"Nor
how many will die in the future," Teal'c added.
"Even
if this debacle costs Errys her throne, there's no guarantee that this
was just HER," Sam spat. "Her power might come from being the
quintessential D'ahin for all we know. She might not be a
deviant, in fact she might very well be a shining example of the norm,"
Sam said bitterly. "Literally the Alpha Bitch."
Janet
looked at each of them. "But that would make them…"
"Irredeemable,"
Daniel firmly interjected. He didn't say it lightly, but he
believed it to be true. The D'ahin were despicable hedonists,
murdering fellow sentient beings in their ruthless pursuit of pleasure.
"Errys will be desperate to recoup the credibility she's lost."
"I
pity the poor bastards who walk through that gate next," Jack observed,
staring determinedly at the concrete walls. "If that was Errys on
a good day."
"Go
on, Major," General Hammond invited Ferretti.
"We
met some resistance at the gate to the D'ahin city, Sir," Ferretti
reported. "It was at this time that Colonel O'Neill was effecting
an escape. My men and I were under heavy fire when SG-1 escorted
out the alien leader Errys. She ordered her men to surrender
after some arm twisting from the colonel." Ferretti didn't laugh
at the pun.
Daniel
shifted uncomfortably, remembering the sound of splintering bone as
Errys had fought Jack for dominance, and lost.
"I
don't consider my use of force excessive in the circumstances, Sir,"
Jack interjected quietly, looking frequently at Daniel, whether seeking
tacit approval or reassurance, Daniel wasn't certain.
Daniel
was trying not to huddle in his chair between Jack and Ferretti, but
reaction was setting in with a vengeance. He felt shivery and
distant, his fingers trembling on the coffee mug he had balanced at the
edge of the briefing table. He was grateful for Jack's silent
support at his side, the wordless empathy they shared, the quick, warm
looks from Sam and Teal'c.
"We
were surrounded by hostiles, Errys had made it clear she was going to
torture my team to death, we were effectively cut-off from the
Stargate," Jack went on with his report.
Three
hours of screaming tension on the slow march back to the gate, the
skirmishes between the restive, threatening aliens and Ferretti's men,
put down every time by Teal'c's rapid intervention and Errys screaming
out for them to hold as Jack had bested her yet again. Datakh
to'hin, she would cry out after Jack fought her to surrender.
"She
did it deliberately," Daniel said softly, a promise to Jack and
reassurance to the general.
"Doctor?"
Hammond's voice was very kind.
"She
made him…" Daniel faltered, unable to think of a word that wasn't cruel
to describe what it had taken from Jack to get them to the gate, to get
them out. "Errys wanted Jack's aggression, his fear for us…She
was all over him, pushing. Always pushing. She needed him
to react to her."
"I
agree, Sir," Sam concurred.
"As
do I." Teal'c steepled his fingers together. "Errys gave
O'Neill no choice, General. She would not surrender."
"I
don't think she could, Teal'c," Daniel sighed. "I don't think SHE
had a choice. Her men know her scent. They could smell her
fear as easily as they smelled ours." He looked apologetically at
Ferretti, who seemed inclined to dispute the assertion. "Nothing
personal, Major. Our bodies emit chemicals we aren't even aware
of that the D'ahin could sense with astonishing acuity. It's why
the D'ahin were so aggressive." He turned back to the general to
continue his assessment. "Errys pushed Jack hard because she had
to save face in front of her men somehow."
"I've
ordered those co-ordinates locked out of the dialling programme," the
general told them, tactfully letting this particular matter go.
Sam
nodded quickly, looking across the table at Daniel, her eyebrows
raising.
Daniel
understood. It only helped them, not the other travellers who
would land on that world. "I don't think its enough, General," he
argued.
"It's
all we can do, son."
A
quick look from Jack asked Daniel to please, let it drop. A tense
silence fell which even Ferretti was momentarily reluctant to break.
"Errys
was some piece of work," Ferretti finally noted uneasily, looking with
regretful curiosity at each of them in turn.
"She
took pleasure in inflicting pain on others, which makes her a sadist in
my book," Jack replied distastefully.
It
was an assessment Daniel had to agree with, looking at his
friends. Jack was the only one of them without burns, though he
had a minor concussion and what he described as a bastard of a
headache. Sam's arms were both bandaged, and she'd be using
crutches for at least a week until her foot healed. Daniel didn't
know how she'd made it back to the gate, limping along on her own as he
and Jack dragged Errys between them, covering their backs while Teal'c,
Ferretti and SG-2 skirmished with the D'ahin. Teal'c's own burns
were still visible on his arms and face. Daniel had a huge purple
welt on his cheek and bruises every place Errys had kicked him, but
physically, he got off pretty light.
Hammond
dismissed Ferretti, thanking him for his efforts, waiting until the
door had closed behind SG-2's C.O. before saying anything further to
his dispirited flagship team.
"I
understand that this was a difficult mission for you all," Hammond told
them with quiet empathy.
"Do
you?" Daniel blurted out, pulling an apologetic face at once.
"I
believe I do, son," Hammond answered, still calm, still kind.
"We
didn't do anything but try to communicate," Daniel said drearily, not
about to get into an argument with a man who'd fought in Vietnam.
"Errys
must take everyone who comes through the Stargate." Jack rubbed
his eyes tiredly. "She had a small army waiting in ambush there."
"The
D'ahin have no respect for other sentient beings," Daniel told the
general.
"They're
as bad as the Goa'uld," Jack spat.
"Worse,
I think," Sam argued, futzing nervously with her pen. "The D'ahin
don't have even the limited excuse of the biological imperative imposed
by the physiology of the Goa'uld, or the genetic memory that
predisposes them to evil."
"The
D'ahin are xenophobes," Daniel commented. He looked sorrowfully
at the general. "Actually, I'm not sure what they are.
Technologically and socially sophisticated beings getting their kicks
from torturing other sentient beings to death. They don't ascribe
any value or meaning to the lives of other species."
"We
were okay on 790, Sir," Sam took up the narrative when Daniel faltered
to a stop. "We were so focused on each other, on
surviving…" She looked helplessly at Teal'c, at a loss for words
too.
"General
Hammond, we begin to wonder how many travellers died before our
arrival. How many more will die in the chamber the D'ahin built
to take their amusement," Teal'c observed gravely. "Such thoughts
weigh heavily."
"We
can't even destroy the Stargate," Jack complained, his bitterness
showing. "Not without significant loss of life allegedly innocent
D'ahin life."
"If
at all," Sam reminded them. "We've seen a Stargate withstand
bombardment by a particle accelerator, a meteor strike, uncontrolled
re-entry to Earth's atmosphere, a naquadah enhanced nuclear attack and
the gravitational forces of a black hole."
There
was a long, pained silence. No one wanted to probe too closely at
the implications of this. Their feelings about their treatment at
the hands of the D'ahin were clouding their judgement. Any overt
action would feel like revenge. It would be for them, not for the
assumed protection of hypothetical future travellers.
"We
have no idea if all the D'ahin share Errys' sadism, her xenophobia,"
Daniel went on bleakly, "but even if they do, we can't stand in
judgement over an entire species."
"Daniel
is speaking for himself, obviously" Jack interrupted, his anger
evident. "Permission to contact the Asgard, Sir. Maybe Thor
can swing by and beam the gate into space for us."
Hammond
opened his mouth, looking at each of them in turn. Their pale,
strained faces softened him. "See to it, Major," he ordered.
"Sir,"
Sam acknowledged.
"I
will assist you," Teal'c offered at once.
Sam
leaned her head towards Teal'c, a soft, affectionate smile on her face
as she glanced up at him. Teal'c's own answering look was warm
and gentle.
Some
of Daniel's tension eased. He wouldn't need to call Sam tonight,
see how she was doing. Teal'c would be with her, they would
talk. Janet too. She'd drag Sam home for dinner and
interrogate her ruthlessly. Daniel would wait until tomorrow, let
Sam have some space, get some perspective. They would talk more
easily.
Jack
though - Jack wouldn't wait.
"SG-1
is confined to light duties for the immediate future."
"What?"
Jack muttered as he got wearily to his feet, his usually graceful,
compact movements stiff and slow. "We're arguing?"
Daniel
had meekly agreed to leave his Volvo in the car park at Cheyenne
Mountain. He had refrained from retorting when Jack had
tactlessly discussed the chances of it being stolen - slim to none -
then had acquiesced to every one of Jack's suggestions to improve his
handling of the truck on the way down the mountain.
He
had obediently driven to the Chapel Hill Mall, parked and allowed
himself to be convinced of the absolute necessity to attain some
semblance of normalcy through the ingestion of a variety of saturated
fats known as Burger King's Chicken Whopper with extra-large
fries. Daniel had paid.
"I
want the triple chocolate fudge," Jack ordered now, a provocative smile
tugging his lips.
"Two,"
Daniel said vaguely to the Patisserie guy, who was poised over a
tempting array of cheesecakes.
Jack
raised a supercilious eyebrow.
"Three,"
Daniel corrected.
Jack
beamed at him.
Daniel
wondered if Jack had any idea how good he looked in his new
jeans. Black jeans. Tight black jeans. A fine,
clinging black sweater skimming his hips. A hint of white jersey
crisp at his throat. His black leather jacket. Jack looked
so good, so god-damned edible, Daniel wanted to swallow him whole.
The
linguist was monosyllabic. Staring. Quivering and possibly
drooling.
How
could he have worked for so long with Jack and not seen how - how
BEAUTIFUL he was?
Daniel
knew how lucky he was to have Jack, to have this unexpected,
unsuspected chance. They were good together. Better than
good. They were great. He made Jack happy, just being with
him. Like now. It was a gift. It filled Daniel with
giddy gratitude at this luck that made up for so much lost.
How
come they'd never done this before? Just - walked. Jack was
beatifically savouring each bite of luscious, oozy cheesecake, his left
hand cupped around Daniel's elbow as they strolled through the
mall. Envious glances slid over them as they moved through the
crowds, the stares of anonymous shoppers sliding over their skin.
That was how good Jack looked.
It
should have been blazing neon above their heads, ten feet high.
Jack was with him. Jack looked at Daniel more than he looked at
anything or anyone else, his brown eyes melting, making Daniel's heart
skip the beat.
Daniel
was scared to death. He knew what this feeling was. He'd
fought it too long and too hard. Maturity - hurt. He wanted
to shove Jack against a wall and eat his mouth, right here, right now,
by the fountains and the palms. He didn't want to talk, didn’t
want to deal with whatever had Jack so watchful, so…sensitive.
Later.
He
needed to stay in the moment.
"Penny
for them, Daniel," Jack prompted gently.
Daniel
smiled, a quick wincing thing. "I need toothpaste," he answered
mildly.
"Oddly,
I do too."
Daniel
was supposed to be careful. He should have confiscated Jack's
cheesecake and made him walk at a discreet, platonic distance.
Instead they shared the cheesecake, trading off bites, Jack's hand
skimming Daniel's waist from time to time, making him shiver.
Giddy.
Giddy and reckless.
They
wandered into the first drugstore they came across. Daniel
selected his toothpaste, Jack took two tubes then hunkered down to look
at toothbrushes. Daniel slumped against the shelves of shampoo
and gaped at Jack's shapely ass, thinking maybe he could be greedy in
bed in a whole new way.
"Homer!"
Jack hooted triumphantly, brandishing one of the kids' novelty
toothbrushes. A Simpsons one, naturally. He looked Daniel
over thoughtfully, perused the selection carefully, then selected
Eeyore from the Winnie the Pooh range. "I need a razor."
Jack straightened up, surveyed the terrain then called loudly for
assistance. The clerks looked around, saw how good Jack looked
and came scurrying, smiling and helpful, giving their all, leading the
tall man in leather and tight, tight jeans to whatever he wanted.
Jack bought two razors, blades and after consultation, moisturising
foam.
"I
need pyjamas."
Daniel's
mind was already on bed. It was a short leap from there to
extracting Jack from his pyjamas as interactively as possible.
"Why?" It was all he could manage in the way of enquiry.
"Tell
you later," was all Jack would say, with another of those warm,
watchful looks.
It
occurred to Daniel that Jack was being - protective was the best way to
describe it. More than ordinarily solicitous. Jack was
definitely worried about something, but was also not about to let
Daniel in on it. It occurred to Daniel that the best reassurance
he could offer Jack that he was okay, that he wasn't losing it in a
hundred different ways over the D'ahin, was to be - natural.
He
made enthusiastic noises about the pyjamas and they roamed amicably
through the mall in search of men's clothing stores, although Jack had
to extract Daniel quite firmly from several really quite inferior
bookstores he'd optimistically investigated.
As
everyone did, eventually they wound up in Dillard's, battling their way
through the scary scrum of forty-somethings surrounding the two-for-one
sale at the cosmetics counters to the saner climes of Men's
Fashions. Jack happily browsed through the displays selecting a
variety of clothing, none of which was nightwear. Sweat pants,
sweatshirts, T-shirts, underwear, socks. Lots of socks.
Jack
still looked hot in his new jeans, but curiosity was surfacing amidst
Daniel's slavering lust.
Catching
a puzzled look from Daniel, Jack commented it was either this or
laundry.
It
was possibly a guy thing, but this actually seemed reasonable to
Daniel. They decided Daniel didn't care for laundry either and
ambled off in the direction of sweat pants, sweatshirts, T-shirts,
underwear and socks for the younger - and in Jack's not particularly
humble nor particularly accurate opinion - sexier guy. Jack's
greens, creams and greys looked good draped over Daniel's arm alongside
the navy and the blues he wound up with. Jack announced that
Daniel didn't need socks, looking distinctly flirty.
Daniel
blushed. Even with a proud oral fixation that made Daniel's
professional curiosity and courtesy pale by comparison, Jack was
particularly fond of Daniel's toes. Podalic stalker fond.
They
paid for their many and varied purchases - which oddly didn't include
pyjamas - then left the store to walk around the outside of the mall
back to the truck, enjoying the evening sunshine. Daniel had to
admit there were worse ways to forget about an absolutely god-awful day
than a little conspicuous consumption.
"How
do you cope?" he asked Jack, curious, hoping to tease out hints of what
had Jack giving his all to his patented jocular 'I'm fine, he's fine,
everybody's fine' act.
"Hmm?"
"You
know. With - with work."
"I
forget about it," Jack said flatly. "As soon as my ass is off the
mountain."
"Do
you?" Daniel persisted.
Jack's
look was tender and meaningful. "I try."
"Me
too," Daniel admitted shyly, looking at his booted feet, flushing at
the implied compliment. He got totally lost in Jack too. It
was far, far more than physicality for him, far more than
company. He was never lonelier than when he left Jack's bed to
drive across town to his own. It hurt him in ways he was unable
to deal with, ways he couldn't face and be able to keep what they
allowed themselves to have of one another.
Jack
was worth it, worth any price to Daniel.
He
looked again at his lover, admiring the easy grace with which Jack
moved, feeling clunky and mundane by comparison. His white jeans
didn't look as good as Jack's black, his zippered sweater seemed staid,
even though Jack had pulled the zipper all the way down as soon as
they'd got in his truck back at the mountain. Jack had traced the
hollow of Daniel's bared throat with one gentle finger, wordless and
staring. That soft light in Jack's eyes was worth anything.
"Daniel,
when I'm not around, all you do is work MORE," Jack accused him.
Daniel
jumped, at a loss. It took him a moment to mentally change gears
and remember he was trying to hold a conversation here.
"I'm
good for you in all kinds of ways," Jack added complacently.
That
was the truth. Smiling a little, Daniel unlocked the truck while
Jack tossed the shopping in the back. He was amused to see Jack
abruptly - and visibly - recalling he allegedly had a bastard of a
headache. How Jack managed to leap athletically into the
passenger seat one minute and look wounded and decrepit the next…As he
climbed into the truck and buckled up, Daniel shook his head in mild
disbelief.
As
they left the mall car park, Jack was poking around in the patisserie
bag. "My blood sugar is low," he announced, apparently feeling
this was sufficient justification for eating Daniel's portion of
cheesecake right in front of him. "I need to lie down in a
darkened room. Let's go to your place," he suggested. "It's
nearer."
"To
rest your head?" Daniel asked somewhat sarcastically as Jack gloated
over the cheesecake.
Jack
laid a coaxing hand on Daniel's thigh. "To have some nice sex,"
Jack corrected, fondly patting him.
"Oh."
Daniel grinned at Jack and turned left with a panache that made Jack
bleat with distress for his precious truck. "Now you're talking."
"Whimpering!"
Jack
whiled away the drive back to Daniel's apartment building volubly
enjoying every ecstatic mouthful of triple chocolate fudge cheesecake,
chatting about the 'stress diet' Sam had posted in her locker.
"You
start your day with three teaspoons of cottage cheese and end it with
an entire frozen cheesecake," Jack informed him. "There are a lot
of rules that make perfect sense to me, like different foods which are
the same colour have the same calorific value and are equally good for
you. Mushrooms and white chocolate, for example. Also,
there's one that says if no one sees you eat it, it has no
calories. Comfort food has no calories either, and the diet
advocates the medicinal qualities of chocolate, ice-cream and buttery
toast. I think Carter's favourite is the one about diet sodas
dissolving calories. She guzzles Diet Pepsi every time she scarfs
down that blue Jell-O."
"Why
were you in Sam's locker?" Daniel queried when he could get a word in.
"M&Ms."
Daniel
too felt that that pretty much covered it.
"No
point having all these special skills if I don't use them," Jack
explained reasonably. He sat quietly brooding as Daniel pulled
into the garage below his building and parked, stirring to help Daniel
gather up the shopping. "Do you think Carter and Fraiser are
synchronised?" Jack asked eventually, making an 'ewwww' face as they
walked over to the elevator "Don't tell me it doesn’t explain a
LOT."
"My
mind won't even go there."
"Mine
went kicking and screaming to PMS hell, and now it can't get out."
Daniel
punched eight to call the elevator.
"It
does," Jack announced enigmatically, blandly ignoring Daniel's
quizzical look. Jack stepped onto the elevator and lounged
attractively in the corner. "Explain a lot. A helluva lot,"
he went on.
"Such
as?" Daniel asked carefully, exceedingly wary of inviting way too much
information.
"Such
as if you hit Carter's locker up for chocolate M&Ms, you can
guarantee Fraiser has peanuts."
"It
doesn't matter how outrageous you get, I'm not falling for it," Daniel
said tartly. "If I believe you, you'll call me a sucker, and if I
don't, it'll turn out to be gospel truth."
"But
that's why it's fun!" Jack explained, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
Daniel
tried for sceptical, philosophically accepting he'd stalled somewhere
around fuckable from the way Jack started licking his lips and
comprehensively looking Daniel over. Jack tended to get very
focused very quickly. Like Jack, Daniel tried to live his life
and not his job. He'd managed to stay fairly focused himself all
the way through the mall, with more or less the same thing on his mind
that was clearly on Jack's mind right now.
To
say Daniel was put out when Jack trotted straight up the steps into the
apartment without even kissing him, let alone suggestively rubbing
against him while he tried to lock the door, was an understatement.
Sullenly,
Daniel followed. He perked up slightly when Jack leapt gracefully
down the living room steps and accelerated towards the bedroom, picking
up his own pace accordingly.
"Oh,"
he said unenthusiastically when he trotted in to find Jack emptying the
contents of one of his bureau drawers onto the bed. "What are you
doing?"
"Making
my mark. Staking my claim. Depositing…" Jack held up some
discreet grey evidence, "socks."
Daniel
blinked and sat down on his bed.
"It
finally occurred to me to ask you what you think this is," Jack
commented conversationally, shovelling more socks into the drawer.
"Weird?"
"What
you think WE are!" Jack tossed at him impatiently, brandishing the
socks.
"Um…"
"Since
what I thought we are turned out to be dead wrong."
Daniel
stiffened, his heart beginning to pound.
"When
you look at me, Daniel, do you just see a good friend you have sex
with?" Jack challenged him, waving a pair of very brief wine-coloured
briefs, en route to the drawer, for emphasis. "We're not
fuck-buddies."
"I…"
"When
I look at you, that's NOT what I see. I know I screwed up
big-time letting you send me home that first night we made love
together."
"I…"
"Big
time. If I'd known what it would lead to…" Jack shook his head,
grimacing. "I realised you were totally freaked out by me sucking
you off like that, even if it was good."
There
was a distinct challenge to the final words. Daniel hastened to
reassure Jack - a tad incoherently - on this apparently key point.
Jack
grabbed the rest of the brief and stuffed them into the drawer.
"I figured I'd do the decent thing, give you some space, let you work
things through in your mind, get comfortable with the guy/guy
thing. Let you come to me. How dumb was that?"
Hoping
that was a rhetorical question, Daniel meekly hitched up his butt and
handed Jack the bag of T-shirts he was impatiently gesturing for.
"Of
course you'd think it through and decide to be sensible. You
drive a VOLVO for Chrissake! You took what you were given - which
was me stupidly allowing you lots and lots of space to be mature all
alone in - and put on your game face. That works for
fuck-buddies, Daniel. It does not work for us."
"W-why?"
Daniel stammered, accepting Jack wasn't about to dump him
ignominiously. He was fighting the hope, the wild exultation
surging.
"Why?
I actually thought it was totally frigging obvious why!" Jack
yelled. "You're my lover, my Significant Other, and a complete
pain in the ass!" Jack yanked Daniel up from his bed and enfolded
him in a vast embrace, burying his face in Daniel's shoulder.
"I'm in love with you, Daniel," Jack whispered tenderly. "I'm
sorry you didn't know that. I'm sorry I didn't know you needed to
hear the words."
Daniel
hugged Jack convulsively. "Hearing you now, Jack," he stammered,
his face blazing, stomach churning with sick relief, his knees shaking.
"And?"
Jack prompted, roughly cupping Daniel's nape.
"I'm
in love with you too."
"Not
at first though," Jack acknowledged with gentle understanding, kissing
Daniel's brow.
"I
- I didn't know at first," Daniel admitted bashfully. "And then
it didn't seem…I couldn't say anything, Jack. You
understand." He couldn't change the ground rules, couldn't be
that unfair on Jack, who had seemed perfectly content with what they'd
had. Good friends who had great sex.
"Yeah,
as a matter of fact I do." Jack leaned back to take Daniel's face
in his hands. "You're too good to me, Daniel. Try to be
more selfish in future, okay? No more giving me space I don't
actually want." Jack tucked Daniel's head onto a welcoming
shoulder and held him very tightly, climbing-inside-his-skin,
never-letting-go tight. "Keep on using me for sex, though," he
instructed firmly.
"Um
- okay."
"I'm
staying with you tonight," Jack added. His arms were still
supportive, but his lips were whispering soft kisses over Daniel's
cheek, his hips pushing a none too subtle erection where he figured it
might get some petting. "Most nights. Sleeping with
you." He savoured the words with vast satisfaction.
"It
is what I want, Jack," Daniel whispered, turning his still red face to
kiss Jack softly on the lips.
"It's
what I wanted the first time we kissed, Daniel," Jack promised.
"I would never have made love with you if I wasn't in love with
you. It was never about the sex." He grinned at Daniel's
look of polite incredulity. "It was never just about the sex," he
amended good naturedly.
Daniel
slid his fingers under the sweater, unbuttoned and unzipped Jack's
jeans, nudging the denim out of his way to stroke through Jack's crisp
pubic hair. He rubbed Jack's groin tantalisingly, pulling Jack
into another kiss as urgent hands grabbed his ass, hauled him close for
Jack to grind into him. "Let's make love," Daniel asked,
feathering kisses along Jack's jaw.
Jack
frowned at him. "You're not thinking anything freaky about
fucking me are you?" he asked. "I wouldn't offer if it wasn't
completely ok…mmmphhh."
Daniel
kissed Jack hard, chewing on his lip, biting at him until he sighed and
opened.
"Mmmm,"
Jack murmured, curling his tongue sweetly around Daniel's. He
slowly leaned into Daniel and they fell onto the bed together in a
mound of squeaky, bouncing shopping bags. They broke off the
kiss, shoved the shopping onto the floor to make room, glanced at one
another, then mutually decided to take advantage of the natural break
to strip feverishly.
Daniel
pulled back his quilt and slid into bed, watching avidly as Jack bent
to get the lube out of the bottom drawer of his bureau. Dammit,
even Jack's spine was sexy. "Jack!"
Jack
hesitated at the side of the bed, looking down at Daniel.
"Seriously."
"Do
we have to talk about…" Daniel blushed furiously.
"Yeah,
I think we do."
"I
like it," Daniel blurted in a small, wooden voice. "I
enjoy…" He peeked up to find Jack looking distinctly
melting-eyed. Jack climbed into bed, lay on his back, then held
out his arms. Daniel rolled on top of Jack, snuggling into his
chest, the way he did after they made love.
"So
talk," Jack invited softly, kissing Daniel's hair.
"I
don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it - about letting a man fuck
me in the ass," Daniel confessed in a rush of embarrassment. "I
only know how good it feels."
"Physiology,"
Jack said easily.
"Intimacy."
Daniel nibbled Jack's chin, which they both enjoyed.
"Connection." In those moments, he wasn't alone, he was SURE…of
himself, of Jack. It meant everything to him, to share himself so
openly, wordless and giving.
"You're
a seriously sweet guy, Jackson." Jack tilted Daniel's face up and
kissed him, a warm, affectionate brush of lips. "I want you to
fuck me," he asked seriously.
Looking
into unwontedly grave eyes, Daniel realised this was important to Jack,
murmuring his agreement at once. Saying no to a casual suggestion
was one thing; refusing something Jack wanted very much from him was
unthinkable. "Please," Daniel begged for his treat,
schoolboy-polite, making Jack chuckle and kiss him again.
"In
the morning," Jack added.
"I
like to make love in the mornings," Daniel commented with quiet
satisfaction.
"And
for now?"
"This
is good." With the whole night stretching out ahead of them,
Daniel's urgency had unexpectedly given way to contentment. He
felt warm and achy, just wanting to be close to Jack. He
feathered kisses along Jack's jawline. "Just being here like this
with you." There was something profoundly satisfying about being
liked as well as loved. Maybe that was why they were so good
together. They had never sacrificed their friendship for sex,
just slowly earned themselves more than they'd had before.
"We've
got time," Jack said agreeably, nuzzling into Daniel's hair. "I'm
not going anywhere." He rubbed Daniel's back. "Just
remember the whole feel free to use me for sex thing," he encouraged.
"I'm
fine," Daniel said lightly.
"Oh."
Ignoring
the directional quality of Jack's thwarted little-boy sullenness,
Daniel tugged the quilt over them both, sliding across to spoon
comfortably at Jack's side. It took Jack very little time to
recall how much he liked Daniel's skin and to achieve optimum
possessive sprawl over most of him. Smiling to himself, Daniel
soothingly stroked Jack's shoulders and back. He was touched at
the way Jack relaxed, the tension seeping from him. For Jack, it
showed a lot of trust. "I take it all the stuff I bought for myself is
migrating over to your place?" Daniel wondered idly.
"When
I'm not here, you'll be there," Jack informed him a lordly manner.
Daniel
meekly acquiesced. He liked the idea. He liked it a lot.
"You
miss me," Jack murmured, radiating complacency.
"I
love you," Daniel said simply, toying with Jack's wayward hair, the
silver strands slipping over his fingers. "I know I hurt you," he
hesitantly added, feeling a need to clear the air, to move on with no
misunderstandings between them. "Every time I left."
"Hey,"
Jack straightened up, frowning. "Don't eat your heart out over
that. It's a done deal. I walked into this with my eyes
wide open. I know we got together because I basically lost
control and seduced you against your own front door…" he shrugged
eloquently. "Every time you left, or I walked away, it was my
choice too, you know?" He grinned, his eyes rueful. "My
strategy was attrition. I figured all that tactical good sex
would wear down your defences."
"It
did," Daniel promised mischievously.
Jack's
grin widened. "God, I wish you could have seen your face the
first time we went to bed together, après hot door-sex. I
thought you were going to faint when I went down on you."
"It
was - something of a shock," Daniel responded with careful dignity.
"And
completely hot," Jack prompted.
With
Jack Eskimo kissing him, Daniel couldn't do anything but swallow hard
and nod, wide-eyed and wordless, which Jack annoyingly appeared to
accept as no more than his due. "The first time we - you know…"
Daniel shrugged, awkwardly meaningful.
Jack's
face quivered. "I know," he agreed gravely, failing to completely
choke down an indulgent laugh.
Daniel
scowled at him. He had been going to confide in Jack how erotic
that had been, how natural it had felt to him to lift his legs over
Jack's shoulders, the power and intensity of that first stunning slide
of hot, throbbing skin deep inside him. "I wasn't the same after
that," he said diffidently. He'd had Jack, had all of him.
He'd wanted more, needed more. Daniel guessed that
dissatisfaction was the root of his desire to be fucked, to know in
those moments he loved, and was loved. "In a good way."
Jack
relaxed in a way that subtly drew attention to the tension Daniel
hadn't noticed before.
"Do
you think Sam and Teal'c have figured out that we're together?" Daniel
asked musingly.
"I
think it was rough out there."
"Errys
made it rough," Daniel answered at once, wondering if Jack didn't want
to talk about it. Protecting Jack's reputation had seemed such an
absolute to him, he hadn't been able to get past his own
diffidence. "It wasn't just you. We all just went for
it. I admit…it was brutal, Jack. Even Sam…" He
remembered Sam's grey face, the vicious kick that had given him and
Jack the edge they'd needed against Errys. "We had to do it."
Jack
lifted his head suddenly and Daniel realised Jack was distressed for
him. "I hate you even think like that. You think you
failed…" Jack was at a loss for words momentarily. "I remember
how you were in the early days, barely knowing which end was up, or
north from south. You always knew right from wrong, though.
Always. If you agreed - hell, I know it's selfish, but I figured
I was okay if you agreed with me. Now, though."
"I
wouldn't have let the team down, Jack, not ever," Daniel denied stiffly.
Jack
smiled a little, his face softening. "I know." He thought
some more. "Naïveté isn't a bad thing, Daniel, just
dangerous and costly. I guess I didn't want you to be the one
paying the price."
"It's
too late for that." Daniel rubbed his face against Jack's, softly
reassuring. "It always was. Sha'uri paid the price on
Abydos, Jack because I couldn't leave it alone. I had to push, I
had to know. I never had enough, always needed more. I knew
what I was getting into. I don't feel cynical," he
promised. "I feel hope, you know?"
Jack's
gentle kiss said he knew.
"Realism
is hard to face in myself," Daniel mused. "But it is easier on
me. My expectations of others aren't so high, but balancing that
a little, my disappointments aren't so great. Most of the time, I
think it's a good thing. We have to change, Jack. We have
to grow."
Jack
looked as if he wanted to be persuaded. Daniel lent an
assist. He licked the smooth skin of Jack's shoulder.
"I'm
trying to talk, here!" Jack complained.
Daniel
lay still, looking obediently attentive. Then he licked Jack's
throat, slowly, slowly lapping a warm, moist trail over the sensitive
hollow and each fine line. Jack shivered.
Daniel
surged up, shoving Jack roughly onto his back, taking the big hands in
his to pin them to the pillow either side of Jack's face. "I love
you," Daniel promised, gentle and wondering. They kissed then,
Daniel tasting Jack's smile as they rubbed mouths with soft, eloquent
passion.
"Love
you," Daniel whispered again, savouring the words, the feeling, then
pushed his way into Jack's willing mouth. Jack was always
willing. It was hurtful to understand why at last, but it was the
kind of pain that made Daniel feel alive. How ridiculous that
they'd both acted with the best of intentions, thinking only of the
other. Selflessness had kept them apart far too long in their
amicable arrangement. "Jack?" Daniel asked gently.
"Hmm?"
Jack cupped Daniel's face, staring at him, drinking him in like he
couldn't get enough.
Daniel
blushed, stroking a coaxing finger down Jack's cheek. "I feel
selfish," he confessed shyly.
FINIS
Back to Part One
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