HONEYED BY BIBLIO: TIES THAT BIND PART ONE

Slash:	Jack and Daniel involved in a loving and committed relationship, which usually involves sex.
Rating:	NC-17
Category:	Angst.  Drama.  First Time.  Friendship.  Off-World Stuff.  Romance.
Season/Spoilers:	Season 3. A sequel to 'Shades of Grey'.
Synopsis:	Repairing their friendship leads Daniel and Jack into seduction.
Warnings:	None.
Length:	456 Kb Download a printer-friendly PDF version of the story

With Daniel shy and more than a little shaky, but noticeably more receptive than he had been now he was worried about Jack's hurt feelings, Jack figured wussing out so embarrassingly and admitting he had feelings to be hurt was maybe almost worth it.  He was still slightly freaked how easy it was to spill his guts with sorrowful blue eyes fixed soulfully on his, not that this was anything new, but the fondling seemed to have boiled up from nowhere.

How could you love a guy?  Especially a guy like Daniel.

It was impossible.  At least, it was for Jack.  He was a Special Ops colonel, for Chrissake.  His reputation would not survive being found getting in touch with his feelings while getting in touch with his linguist.

Daniel still seemed to have a big problem with Jack touching him, but Jack was uneasily aware he might be the one with the bigger problem here.  It was ridiculous, obviously, Daniel knew him and all.  Still, he couldn't help wondering if maybe, just a little, he was making Daniel anxious.  That maybe Daniel was thinking Jack had some kind of motive for touching.  Apart from the obvious ones, like teasing, annoyance, reassurance…affection.  Not affection…well, okay.  Yeah.  He - er - had to put his hand up to that one.  He liked Daniel, which was not a crime.  He was the tactile type, which was just wrong in so many ways for a career in the Air Force.  He was extremely limited in who he could get tactile with, while Daniel always struck him as someone who needed the crap hugged out of him on a twice-daily basis.

It worked for him.  It fit.  Not exactly the proverbial glove, though, or Daniel would be the only one who was mildly anxious here.

It was easier to keep focus on the progress he was making with the friendship thing.  The archaeology stuff got Daniel to open up, which was the only reason Jack was sitting here cataloguing rubbings.  He just had to get baffled and whiny for Daniel to come running.  Fortunately, he did both extremely well.  Meanwhile, Daniel was relaxing because Jack was playing so nice and Jack was milking it for all he was worth so he could pounce and extract more confidences when his naïve friend least expected it.

"Lunch!" he bellowed.

"Later!"

"Now, Daniel."

"I'm busy."

"I'll eat alone, then."

"Knock yourself out."

"That's cold, Daniel."

"Not as cold as trying to sound pathetic and infirm so you can guilt trip me into peeling your grapes."

"Good point," Jack acknowledged.  "I guess I was being thoughtlessly selfish.  Let me make it up to you.  How about I serenade you while you work?"

The planks above quivered, then a bandana-bound head cautiously appeared.  "Is that a threat?"

Before Jack could say a word, Daniel muttered something under his breath, apparently answering his own highly insulting question, then stomped down the stairs, sat with a thump, ungraciously accepted his can of tuna salad and generally glowered.

"Yes," Jack said gently.

The glower became tinged with suspicion.

"I took my painkillers."

Daniel sniffed.  Like he cared!

Jack calmly ate tuna, sweetcorn and peppers while Daniel looked in horrified disbelief at his allegedly nutritionally balanced meal in a can.  It took a thunderous growl from his stomach to make him reluctantly dip a cracker in the can.  After the first bite, he gobbled the rest down greedily, munched his way through Jack's crackers, three energy bars and a small pack of dates.  Then he ate some nuts.  Then he absent-mindedly asked Jack if he was still hungry too and heated some tomato soup for them both.  Then he had another energy bar.  And two cartons of OJ.

"The swelling's going down," Daniel observed at last, emerging from his post-pig out digestive stupor to stare at Jack's bare knee.  "The ice packs seem to be helping."

"I can hardly feel it," Jack lied insouciantly.  He wasn't wearing his freshly cut-off BDUs to show off his legs, just like his T-shirt wasn't soaked and skanky from the humidity.  The pain pulsed in sickening waves, maybe a fraction further apart now, but still debilitating.  Jack was honestly glad they were all alone here, because he'd be worse than useless in a fight.

"I'll take you back to camp," Daniel said suddenly, his lips tight.  "You should be in bed."

Jack shrugged.  He wasn't arguing the point.  He also wasn't about to leave Daniel alone, right on top of the unguarded Stargate, with Jack unable to get to him if he was needed.

"I could work on my 3D imaging of the chamber," Daniel offered generously, "while you rest up."

Deal!  "If that's what you want," Jack said carelessly.  He scented an opportunity to coax another confession out Daniel.

"It's what you need," Daniel insisted, refusing to let Jack get away with implying he was sensitive and caring.  His careful intonation of the words implied in turn that only Jack's stubborn gung-ho stupidity was keeping him upright and bitching.

"What I need," Jack retorted as Daniel headed off to retrieve Jack's crutches and the last completed rubbing from his platform, a certain swagger indicating he thought he'd won that one, "is a bath.  You can put me to bed after you've washed my back."

"Whose stupid idea was this?"

"Yours," Daniel said coldly.  "And I don't see any reason why you can't wash your own socks.  You didn't sprain your wrist."

Combining some overdue laundry with a soothing bath had seemed like a good idea while Jack was under the impression his invalid status guaranteed the laundry part would be happening to Daniel while Jack rested up, splashing around in the shallows.  "I'm glad we're not relying on this for drinking water.  You stink," he complained.

Glancing up from where he was unlacing Jack's boots, the look Daniel shot Jack suggested this pool wasn't big enough for the both of them.  Jack impatiently waved Daniel away, deciding he might as well keep his clothes on if Daniel was refusing to sully his delicate hands with them.

Respectful of Daniel's modesty, Jack would normally have got his ass in the water and made like Flipper.  Unfortunately, all he could do right now was wait for Daniel to get him into the pool, sit him down where he couldn't drown while he washed his socks, then get him back out again.  Whoop de doo.  Worth every agonising minute limping down the mountain.

So he waited.  He had to wait while Daniel took his boots off, then his socks, then with his back turned, his jacket and his T-shirt.  Then he had to wait while Daniel hesitated, his shoulders hunching.

Jack was kind of relieved he could watch Daniel getting naked, noticing stuff like the broad shoulders, the straight spine, the slim waist, the way Daniel's skin was that smooth all over, while all he felt was irritation.  He was cooking with gas again, so Daniel could relax and spill like he was supposed to.  Jack was putting the work in, here!

He waited and watched, and watched some more as Daniel reluctantly removed his BDUs, running a leisurely eye over the boy's boxer-clad rump, glad he could quit this any time he felt like it.

Any time at all.

Naturally, with his usual impeccably inconvenient timing, Daniel followed Jack's gaze down when he turned around unexpectedly, which left them both staring at his crotch.

"Did you figure it out?" Jack blurted, praying Daniel wouldn't embarrass them both and ask if Jack was really looking at his…er…Not that Jack could answer anyway.  He couldn't project enough wounded dignity to get away with the truth, which was that he was looking at Daniel's ass, not his crotch.  But he could stop any time.

"What?" Daniel asked cautiously, looking as disconcerted as Jack felt.  He sidled across to the rock Jack was perched on, relaxing slightly because Jack was fully-clothed and physically unable to pounce, stoically slid an arm round Jack's waist, helped him to his feet, then down the narrow beach and into the clear water.

Jack went from disconcerted to completely thrown when he realised Daniel's skin really was smooth all over.  Smooth skin and warm water lapping at his thighs.  Jack was glad they were both sweaty and smelly.  It took the Blue Lagoon-ish shine off.  "Did you figure it out?  That I was…you know?" he said lamely.  This was an interesting sensation.  Being balls-deep in warm water with a hot, stinky linguist plastered to him.

Apparently thinking over what he would say in reply to that, Daniel steered Jack towards a rock which extended a low shelf into the water, steadying Jack as he planted his fists behind him and swung up.  When Jack got settled, the water was at his waist, and so were Daniel's hands.

"Jack?" Daniel looked at him, eyes luminous.  "Are you…"  His fingers plucked nervously at Jack's soggy T-shirt, but his steady gaze never wavered.  "I've noticed you watching me," he murmured shyly.

Jack relaxed, glad his instincts were still shit-hot where Daniel was concerned.  He took Daniel comfortingly by the shoulders.  "Sure I've been watching!" he agreed robustly.  "You scared the crap out of me!  I was starting to think you'd never get over this snit."  Daniel flinched back from that, literally rocking back in Jack's clasp, his face paling, then flaming.  "Bad choice of words," Jack said hurriedly as Daniel's head wearily dropped.

He couldn't think what else to say so he went with what had always worked in the past.  He hugged Daniel to him, feeling terrible when after a few moments of screaming tension, all the fight went out of Daniel and he buried his face in Jack's shoulder.  Jack rubbed his back soothingly, willing to hold on as long as Daniel needed him.

"I didn't know right away."  Daniel hugged his knees, morbidly conscious of Jack's quiet, listening presence behind him.

"I gathered," Jack said dryly.  "I guess I knew, when you weren't in the gateroom."

"I'm sorry about that."  Daniel turned to stare out of the open flap of the tent, his body refusing to be lulled by the gentle susurration of rain murmuring over the canvas, filling the still warm air with a fine mist.  Daniel was shivering and achy, wishing he'd been able to resist Jack's determination to keep him close.  "I didn't believe you were going, at least not going for good."

"How?" Jack asked softly.

It was hard to talk when he felt so defeated.  Jack had been watching him.  Maybe it wasn't attraction, but it was awareness, and then with the way Jack was talking, Daniel had been so sure.  It was pathetic of him to have jumped to the only conclusion he cared about.  He was too tired, too crowded with misery for anything but the truth, however hard it was on both of them.  "I didn't believe you could leave me behind, Jack, any more than I could leave you.  Not like that."

"You make it sound like…" Jack couldn't bring himself to admit the depth of feeling between them.

"Exactly like," Daniel said with quiet dignity.  Behind him, Jack sighed, but he didn't make any other protest.  It was as much acknowledgement as Jack was able to give.  He was a guy as well as career military.  Emotional constipation was practically part of the job description.

"I could have been going to Laira," Jack argued, sounding uncomfortable.

"No," Daniel denied emphatically, "you couldn't.  You'd already made that choice, Jack.  You walked away from her."

"Well, what did you think I was doing?" Jack demanded.

"At first?  Getting your head straight."

"That's ridiculous!  It wasn't like I could cool off and change my mind.  I didn't have a GDO and Hammond sure as shit wouldn't open the iris, Daniel!"

"Not for you."

"Are you saying you would have come after me?"

"Honestly?  I think we all would have," Daniel admitted, thinking it over.  "You did do a good job of keeping us off-balance, Jack, but that wouldn't have lasted.  Once we were given a chance to actually think - yes," he said decidedly.  "We would have come after you."

Jack gave his shoulder a bit of a shake, communicating silent pleasure at that.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the rain.

“What are we deciding here?” Jack asked slowly.

“I think we’re deciding that we didn’t have a choice,” Daniel replied.  He turned round to look at Jack for the first time.  "None of us had a choice."

“Classic victims of circumstance, eh?” Jack asked with slightly forced joviality.

“Something like that,” Daniel agreed.  “I guess we both got hurt,” he confessed to Jack’s shoulder, which twitched an instinctive rejection of the girlie feelings stuff.  A heavy, resentful sigh signified Jack’s full agreement.

“We’re okay, though?” Jack pushed.

Daniel dropped his head, flashing a quick, wince of a smile.  They weren’t okay, the anger, the hurt, and for him the fear – they hadn’t dealt with those.  As hard as it was for them to face up to the impact each of their actions and reactions had had on their friendship, it was harder to be apart.  They were so close, sometimes Daniel wasn’t sure where he ended and Jack began.

Jack’s hand slid over to squeeze his shoulder again.  “Daniel?” he asked, very gently.

He loved Jack.  How could he refuse him? “We will be,” Daniel promised.

“It’s the same!” Jack yelled.

“The main sign is the same but the affix isn’t!” Daniel yelled back.  “Look!”  He held up a rubbing in evidence.  “Subfix!”  He jabbed his rubbing.  “Superfix!”  He leaned across the table to jab Jack’s rubbing.

“You are such a pain in the ass!” Jack glared at him sullenly, refusing to admit his sub was super.  “I’ve had more fun watching paint dry.”

“The language has a syllabary made up of glyphs, not an alphabet,” Daniel snappishly reminded Jack.  They'd been over this.  Over and over and over!  “The glyphs are polyvalent.”

“Carrying more than one meaning, I got that the first time!”  Jack haughtily sniffed.  “It’s still boring.”

“Tedious,” Daniel agreed heartily.  “Yet necessary!"”

“Tedious?  You can say that again!  It’s taken us three interminable days just for you to decide the language is logosyllabic,” Jack complained bitterly.  “That's three days of my life I'm not getting back, you know," he pointed out accusingly.  "I’m so unhinged by boredom I actually know what logosyllabic means.  I know the difference between logograms and syllabograms.”

“You do?” Daniel interrupted, fixing wide, innocently enquiring eyes on Jack.

Jack sneered.  “Logograms,” he announced sententiously, “are the main signs,” he tapped his rubbing eloquently, “representing whole words.  Syllabograms represent syllables, allowing explicit meanings to be conveyed when the various affixes are read in order."

Jack's tone struck Daniel as being more hectoring than lecturing.

"In this case a zigzag, left to right, top to bottom, excitingly reminiscent of Mesoamerican…”  His ears seeming to catch up with his mouth at this point, Jack bleated his distress.  “You’re killing me!” he groaned pitifully, burying his face in his hands.

“Is this is a bad time to bring up semantic-phonetic compounds?” Daniel asked brightly.

“I need to shoot something.”  Jack emerged from behind his hands, grim-faced.  “Possibly you!”

At this point the Stargate activated.

“You’ve got to be kidding!” Jack peeled back the concealing cover on his watch, peered at it, tapped it sharply, then shook his head as if to clear it.  “That's four days!” he exclaimed disbelievingly.  “Four whole frigging days sitting on my ass playing spot the suffix.  Maybe I should just shoot myself.”  At this, he shot a hard look at Daniel, who sat demurely silent.  Jack snatched up his MP-5, then gingerly limped over to take up a defensive position, grumbling - not particularly under his breath - about iniquitously exploitative linguists.

Daniel obediently ambled over to take up his allocated defensive position, although the only thing he felt an urge to shoot was Jack, who was the most argumentative and sullenly uncooperative student he had ever had the misfortune to tutor.  The best thing about it was that this was all Jack’s idea.  Entirely self-inflicted.  He was set on bonding with Daniel, repairing the foundations of their friendship, and had made his mind up that this was the way to do it.  Despite being trapped in a linguistic living hell, he was refusing to back down.

Only a saint wouldn’t have taken advantage.

What Jack was going to do when he found out they didn’t stand a chance of translating this language without a significant corpus of texts was anyone’s guess, but Daniel planned to have fun finding out.

The event horizon boiled out of the gate, then stabilised to its customary ripple.  They waited for an irruption of hostiles, although Daniel doubted there was a species out there as hostile as Jack was right at this moment.  After a prudent interval in which nothing whatsoever happened, they rendezvoused in front of the video camera and viewing screen perched on the MALP.

Tucked in neatly behind Jack’s shoulder, Daniel waved to Sam, who was sandwiched between the general and Teal’c.  Sam waved back, making out she needed to smooth her hair to military correctness to fool any colonels watching.

“No crutches today, Colonel?” Hammond observed pleasantly.

“No rescue today, General?” Jack retorted.  Not pleasantly.

“Not at this time.”

“We have some definite possibles, Sirs,” Sam added loyally.  “We’ve refined our search parameters.”

“We are now actively seeking to avoid worlds which have rich mineral deposits and pharmacological potential,” Teal’c explained dryly.

Sam looked embarrassed.  “You know how it goes, Sir,” she appealed directly to Jack.  “When you have the Pentagon breathing down your neck to show a profit you don’t find diddly, but when you don’t want a planet you can asset strip?”  She shrugged helplessly.

“You find three in a row?” Jack asked witheringly.

“Are you well again, O’Neill?” Teal’c asked, considerately changing the subject as Sam made like a guppy.

“He’s complaining the whole time about his knee hurting like crap,” Daniel, the recipient of these complaints, interpolated with a complete absence of sympathy.

“With DanielJackson’s care, you will continue to show improvement,” Teal’c informed Jack approvingly.

“He’s not complaining about anything else?” Sam asked Daniel in apparent surprise.  She straightened up with a jerk when ‘he’ gave her his best C.O. glare.

“Only the food, the accommodation and the company," Daniel answered in a rapid sing-song, ticking each point off on his fingers, ignoring the way Jack was bristling.

Hammond’s lips twitched.

“The heat, the humidity, the rain, the climb up, the climb down, the translation, the odd smell behind the tent, the bat,” Daniel went on.

“The bat?” Hammond asked, intrigued.

“It crapped on me!” Jack indignantly interjected.

“It dropped a heavy load with pinpoint accuracy in order to gain some emergency altitude,” Daniel explained precisely.

Jack ignored three pairs of accusing eyes and one cold shoulder.

“You’re not to exterminate the local fauna, Colonel,” Hammond ordered tartly.  "And you're to ensure Dr. Jackson gets at least twenty-four hours R&R," he went on in the exact same tone.

It was Daniel's turn to bristle.  "We're just beginning to make progress!" he objected strenuously.

"You're exhausted, son," Hammond told him straightforwardly.

So he wasn't sleeping too well!  It wasn't like it had never happened before.

"You are not taking adequate care of DanielJackson," Teal'c sternly scolded Jack.

"A minute ago he was supposed to be taking adequate care of me!" Jack retorted aggressively, clearly not in the mood for judgemental Jaffa.

Teal'c was supremely indifferent to the apparent contradiction.  "I have brought what you requested, O'Neill," he announced, turning to walk off camera.  Every head turned to follow him.

"This is exciting," Jack snapped after about ten seconds.

"About that R&R," Daniel began in his most persuasive tone.  Hammond looked interestedly into the camera.  "What I would find really relaxing would be a chance to explore the town.  Alone," he added with unsubtle emphasis, rolling his eyes meaningfully at Jack, just as Jack turned around and caught him.  Jack managed a pretty good impression of Teal'c, or at least of his eyebrow, which accelerated up towards his hairline.

"What if you had an accident?" Sam asked worriedly.  "The colonel fell off the dais and he isn't exactly the most imag…" Sam bit off whatever she was going to say as Jack spun around and glared at her via the camera.  "I mean…" she said unhappily, unable to voice what she meant, especially with the general and all the control room technicians hanging on every word she wasn't saying.

"Yes?" Jack barked.

"Daniel is more excitable than you are, Sir."

"Excuse me?" Daniel coldly sought clarification from his tactless colleague while Jack gloated in an unseemly manner.

"I'll go make sure Teal'c is sending those references books - the ones you asked me to get for you - through to you," Sam said hastily, then spinelessly booked.

A few moments later a fishing rod emerged from the event horizon, followed by a net and a tackle box.  Then some books, neatly parcelled up, a stack of DVDs, which meant Daniel would be fighting Jack for the laptop with its handy-dandy DVD drive, an anonymous cardboard box, and finally a bag of chocolate walnut cookies, which was likely to be the only thing Jack would feel equal to carrying back to camp.  Naturally, he'd have to lighten this heavy load so he didn't strain himself or Daniel's delicate digestion.

Hammond told them they could skip the 0600 check-in tomorrow only - as a treat - and the wormhole disengaged.  And that was it.

"Can we stand the thrill of it all?" Jack asked sarcastically.

"Excitable?" Daniel muttered darkly.  "That was a rhetorical complaint!" he added hastily as Jack indicated he had a lot to say on this matter.

"You want to go into the town alone?" Jack riposted.  "And that wasn't."

"Wasn't what?" Daniel asked as he started gathering up their somewhat eclectic delivery of supplies.

"Rhetorical."

When Daniel glanced back questioningly, Jack was frowning heavily.

"Does it bother you?"

Daniel raised his eyebrows.

"The complaints?"

They were cute.  Jack was cute.  "No," Daniel said lamely.  "I - no."

"Damned with faint praise," Jack observed conversationally.  "I thought we cleared the air.  I thought we were doing okay."

"We did."  Daniel was annoyed with himself for going red.  To cover, he turned away to pick up his books.  "We are."  They were doing better.  Self-conscious and getting sick of awkward conversations like this one, not all of them initiated by Jack, both of them checking on the other all the time because neither of them was sure.   They'd always had to work at their friendship, but lack of understanding had never been at the root of it.  From their earliest days, they'd connected, communicated, often without words being needed.

Daniel felt lost without that constant flow of feeling, thought and shared understanding.  He was anxious and Jack was going out of his way to be reassuring.  Or be reassured.  Hence the bonding-with-Daniel-over-the-dictionary routine.  And the way Jack kept letting his fingers do his talking.  At least being planted on opposite sides of the table and of the arguments kept Jack at a small, crucial distance, because otherwise…well, one completely concerned colonel was all over him.

It was extremely difficult for Daniel to handle, because Jack meant well and it wasn't his fault he was perpetually fondling someone who was struggling not to let himself read any kind of repression into the way Jack couldn't keep his hands off him.

"Daniel?"

Like now.  "Can we not talk about it?" Daniel asked pathetically as Jack fondly patted him.

"Sure," Jack surprisingly agreed, his eyes dwelling on the anonymous box at Daniel's feet.  "Tomorrow."

"I'm working," Daniel insisted stubbornly.

"Fishing," Jack corrected absently.  He prodded the box with his foot.

"There aren't any fish," Daniel pointed out accurately.

Jack tutted impatiently.  "Fishing is not about the fish!" he corrected Daniel sharply.  He looked down at his legs, then tugged at the skin on his arms.  "There should be sun screen in there."

Sun screen?

Jack glanced up at Daniel appraisingly.  "You look like I feel."

Daniel sensed Jack didn't mean this in a good way.  If pushed, he'd admit to being somewhat tired and, more importantly, to wanting to know more about Jack's plans for the screen.  And for his skin.

He was shallow.

On the slow walk back to camp, Daniel had proven unusually amenable to Jack's plans to spend an absolute no-brainer day lolling by the pool, with a rod in the water for conscience' sake, working on their tans and  generally pigging out.

Carter had come through with the requested snacks.  They had popcorn to go with Jack's choice of in-tent entertainment tonight and a whole range of candy-coated goodies for tomorrow.   None of which helped with the horror Jack had in front of him now.  "Chicken risotto, huh?"  He pushed the last forkful around the can, not about to set a good disciplined example by finishing it.

"That's the trouble," Daniel said sympathetically.  "If you don't gobble them right down, it gets to the point where you've eaten enough to take the edge off and you can't face the rest for hours, by which time it's…

"Salmonella in a can," Jack agreed gloomily.

They both looked around at Carter's box of delights, scenting salvation.

"I'm sure I saw Doritos in there," Daniel observed in a friendly manner.

"Salsa dip," Jack agreed hospitably.

Daniel quirked an eyebrow, decided instantly that Jack was very much with him on this, perked up visibly, slid out of his chair and pounced on the box.  He delved into the contents, resulting in some mouth watering rustling, which went on a heartening length of time, to locate and triumphantly extract the Doritos.

"How long does Sam think we're going to be stuck here?" Daniel asked as he strolled back to slump into his seat again.

"That's a day's rations, tops," Jack said firmly, plucking the Doritos from Daniel's resistant fingers.  "This planet is crappy," he decided.

Daniel looked up from the dip he was considerately taste-testing for freshness, etc.

"All we do is eat, sleep, talk and translate stuff."  Jack looked thoughtfully at Daniel.  "The fact you're enjoying this so much has me wondering about your social life."

"I go out as much as you do," Daniel snapped, taking offence at this mildly expressed judgement.

Apparently it was okay for Daniel to tell Jack he was a loner but not for Jack to remind him of it.  "We go out with Teal'c," Jack pointed out, refusing to acknowledge the implied slur on his dating skills.  Speaking of which…"Do you date?" he asked, curious.  If he'd thought about it, which he hadn't, he'd assume not.  The Dr. Jackson he'd met had been a strange mix of innocent intellectual arrogance and seeming sexual naïveté, an impression Jack had never shaken off.

Exasperatingly tight-lipped, Daniel shot Jack an irate look.

Thinking about it, Jack decided that Daniel had definitely had sex with Linea.  Poodle-perm had been all over him like a cheap suit.  No question she'd nailed him.  No question either that Jack had seen exactly what she was after, back on the planet, the way she'd been coming on to Daniel in the library.  Pity Daniel hadn't seen through the act.  Too goddamned horny.  Naïve and horny was a scary-bad combination.

Thwarting Daniel's sneak attack on the Doritos's, Jack reluctantly exchanged a handful of chips for dip, guessing he'd answered part of his own question.  Nothing would have happened while Sha'uri was alive, not while there was any chance of finding her.  Daniel doing the wild thing while nishta'd out of his skull ruled out Hathor and even Teal'c hadn't seen the Royal Lemming and Her Imperious Highness' sarcophagus spin cycle looming.

"Why the sudden interest in my sex life, Jack?" Daniel demanded.

Flushing guiltily, Jack didn't manage to get out a denial before Daniel launched in again.

"What business is it of yours if I'm sleeping with someone?"

"You are?" Jack blurted involuntarily.

Daniel's brows snapped together.

"Not that it matters," Jack corrected himself hastily.

"No," Daniel agreed with cold finality.  "My private life is just that."

"I'm your friend!" Jack objected.  This was completely illogical, even to him, which pissed him off.

"That doesn't make any difference.  We don't talk about my sex life!"

Hold on.  'If ' Daniel was sleeping with someone?

"We don't talk about yours either."

'If' implied a question.

"We don't talk about sex full-stop."

'If' possibly implied a random example tossed out purely to make a point.

"We're guys," Jack supplied encouragingly as Daniel ran out of steam.  "We talk way more than we're supposed to as it is."  Why should Daniel's sex life be out of bounds when nothing else seemed to be?  Except Jack's sex life of course.  And the mushy feelings stuff they always seemed to get mired in.

Daniel munched some Doritos, apparently not finding any fault with Jack's assessment, although a sudden twinkle in his eyes suggested one of them talked way more than he was supposed to and way more than the other one did.

As long as Daniel was thinking about himself, Jack agreed he was right on the money.

"Every conversation we have seems to get part-chick, part-encounter group," Jack expanded on his theme, sticking with qualitative issues as opposed to quantitative.  He wouldn't put it past Daniel to word-count too and they only had the one Dictaphone, which stacked the deck unfairly when Jack was going to have make do with his notebook.  "You've asked me how I feel about stuff."  He sat back, smugly certain Daniel couldn't top that.

"And you tell me."  Daniel sat back too, crossing his arms over his chest.  "Face it, Jack.  There's nothing ordinary about our friendship."

Only because Jack was a sucker and his extremely competent and resourceful friend was in constant need of his guidance and protection.  And no, that was not a contradiction in terms.  This was Daniel.  Sudden inspiration struck.  "When you first joined SG-1, I told you it didn't say colonel anywhere on my uniform," Jack abruptly changed tack, rushing to share his epiphany.  "That’s why you didn't see this coming!  I've never pulled rank on you."

"You haven't?" Daniel interrupted rudely, his eyebrows soaring again.

"No," Jack said smoothly, smiling a little.  "I haven't.  Ask Carter," he invited.  "I've allowed you to argue - at length - contradict - loudly - and talk me into and out of actions that wind up on my permanent record, and not in a good way, all in pursuit of doing 'the right thing'.  I've done it even when I figured it was the wrong thing, because…"  Okay, he wasn't going there.  The reason 'because' was just plain embarrassing.  Even for him this was a record.  Nought-to-chick in sixty seconds.

"Because?" Daniel prompted him, leaning forward to prop his chin on his hands.

"Because…" Jack echoed reluctantly, also leaning forward.  "You're usually - sometimes," he amended hastily, "right," he admitted to the table in a low, muffled tone.

Daniel didn't seem particularly impressed with this effusive praise.  "Usually sometimes?"

Jack smiled blandly, not about to admit to Daniel being 'always' anything, with the exception of annoying.  "You're used to me doing the right thing for the wrong reason, but you're not used to me doing the wrong thing for the right reason!" he said triumphantly.

"I don't know what you're talking about."  Daniel blinked hard, his eyelashes fluttering distractingly.

Practically nose to nose like this, it was impossible to miss how large and intensely blue Daniel's eyes were, framed by the rims of his glasses.  "Usually I do it for you, this time I did it to you," Jack explained absently, reluctantly admitting that Daniel's eyes were way bluer than Carter's.  Bluer even than Sara's.

Daniel's mouth fell open.  "For me?" he blurted, kid-like, sounding oddly breathless.  He seemed quite pleased, touched even, his eyes softening noticeably.

"I mean…"  Jack didn't know what he meant.  "You know what I mean."

"Do you?" Daniel asked diffidently, staring at Jack.

"Sure I…"  It was moments like this that kept Jack looking out for Daniel, moments when Daniel was completely open, completely vulnerable.  He was too sensitive, too empathetic.  Compassion was dangerous and expensive.  "Sure," Jack said again, much less certainly than he'd intended.

"Are you?" Daniel's asked intently, voice almost a whisper.  He was staring at Jack, strained and searching his face.  Waiting, almost, the tip of his tongue dancing nervously over his lower lip.

"Yeah," Jack said quietly.  "We spend years working on our friendship, we've got this whole Jack and Daniel thing going, not colonel and doctor, it works for us, it works for the team.  For the first time I cut you out of the loop.  I don’t come to you, I don't let you help me, I act like I don't trust you.  Is that what you think?  That I don't trust you?"  Jack hoped not.  It wasn't lack of trust that got them into this - the opposite maybe.  He was cheered to know Daniel would have come after him - it did mean something, like he'd said outside the gateroom with them all listening.  It meant more to him than he'd understood himself at the time.  He still wasn't sure if he was going to get away with not admitting how much Daniel meant to him.  It depended on Daniel, on how much he needed to hear it, if Jack couldn't get him to believe the truth any other way.

Daniel closed his eyes for a long moment.  When he opened them again - his withdrawal was minute, but Jack was watchful, and it had him instinctively leaning closer.

"I didn't have any choice," Jack promised, taken aback and embarrassed with his own passion.  He didn't care for the almost pleading tone of his voice, but Daniel was Daniel, too sweet a guy, so maybe it was okay Jack always wound up baring his soul like this to him.  "I do trust you, Daniel.  If there'd been any other way - I couldn’t think of another way."  With the restrictions the Tollan and the Asgard had placed on Hammond to clean his own house, there hadn't been another way.  It was ugly and messy and Jack's kids had been caught in the middle, Daniel most of all, because they'd all needed him to do just what he did.  They'd counted on him, on who he was.  Maybe Daniel needed to hear that too.

"What are you trying to say to me, Jack?"

Daniel was so close to him…so close.

"You can still trust me.  You can."  Jack thought he was saying the right thing, but Daniel's eyes still fell, his fingers twisting.  Without really thinking about it, Jack put his hand over Daniel's.

"If the rain intensifies, we might need to consider relocating to the mausoleum," Jack warned.  Daniel was standing at the tent flap, looking out dreamily.  "I have concerns about flash flooding."

"Agreed."

Daniel said this quietly.  He was quiet, had been for a while.  Not that Jack was exactly the life and soul of the party.  He had too much on his mind.  He was more than worried, he was afraid, and questioning.  How could he not?  If Daniel had been Carter or any servicewoman, Jack would call his behaviour this evening inappropriate.  More than his behaviour - his feelings.

He was struggling with the possibility of some kind of latent attraction to Daniel.  He hadn't felt aroused - comfortable, maybe.  The fact remained he got too close.  Hell, he practically climbed into Daniel's BDUs with him before he felt they'd closed enough distance and he could relax.  Daniel being cool with it didn't make any difference.  Hammond would not be cool with one of his senior officers, the leader of his flagship team, compulsively feeling up the SGC's very attractive and completely irreplaceable young linguist.  Jack was honour-bound to keep his hands off his civilian consultant.  He knew this.  He just couldn't seem to stop.

Was he attracted to Daniel?

"You want to watch a movie now?" Daniel asked, turning at last to Jack.

Jack shrugged.  The laptop was connected to his stereo, wired for Dolby surround sound and ready to go.  Boredom wasn't the issue it had been.  A much bigger issue would be Daniel planting himself on the camp bed right next to Jack, who was edgy to start with.

Was he?  Attracted?

"Any preferences?"

He stalled.  "You choose."  Daniel would spend ages picking out what he thought Jack would like best, while Jack watched him and tried to figure out some stuff.

Daniel was very attractive.  In fact, with his face and that body, he was walking wet-dream attractive, if a man were so inclined.  It wasn't just his looks, though, but his character.  Jack couldn't deny the appeal of the whole unique package.   Daniel was the original go-to guy, stronger and more resilient than anyone ever suspected, very intense, passionate and energetic for an intellectual, almost driven at times.  He was also warm, undeniably sensitive and gentle.  Sweet.  In fact, he was a whole mass of fascinating contradictions.

If Jack was into guys, he'd find Daniel irresistible.

He was into Daniel.  Big time.  There was a difference.  It was friendship, not sex.  His feelings went deep, and so did Daniel's.  He was finding he was pretty okay with that, and Daniel was getting there again.

"I have no idea what this movie is," Daniel admitted as he sat down next to Jack, wriggling until he got comfortable.  "It looks like something you may have taped, which Sam's then transferred onto VCD.  The label is handwritten."

Instead of tensing up at their proximity, Jack relaxed.  Somehow, that was more disturbing to him, like he had some need only Daniel could meet.  Jack hated losing control, never moreso than when someone else got hurt in the fallout.  He'd hurt Daniel enough already.  This was one issue they wouldn't be talking through.  He couldn't conceive of any way to sit Daniel down and tell him that possibly - maybe - he was attracted to him.  There was something there, something - he didn't even want to think sexual, but he was looking at the man's ass, for Chrissake!

Daniel would be devastated, he'd want to help, and he wouldn't get that this wasn't just inappropriate, that given their circumstances, it was bordering on abusive.  Jack had to get a grip on this unwanted awareness, and soon.  He couldn't have Daniel thinking he was coming on to him.  What was the boy supposed to do with that?  It wasn't as if either of them had the luxury of walking away.

"I let you sleep."

The soft apology made Jack jump.  He looked up to see Daniel wearing a slightly anxious smile and not much else.  Of course he couldn't bleat a word of protest because Daniel was bashful at the best of times.  He focused on Daniel's bare knees, which seemed the safest option, then his eyes went where his mind didn't want to follow, finding almost immediately that the knee bone was very definitely connected to the thigh bone.

"Coffee?"

Jack grunted something unintelligible, stumbled to his feet and followed Daniel out of the tent like Mary's little lamb.   He was speechless.  Jack knew Daniel had it - especially after his dream - but, Jesus, what a time to start flaunting it.

Daniel had the full meal deal for breakfast, treating Jack to coffee, OJ, his beloved Froot Loops, and chocolate walnut cookies.  "You told me to enter into the spirit of things," Daniel excused his culinary excess.

"I did?"

"You ordered me to lighten the hell up," Daniel amended, taking his seat, which fortunately obscured a little of toned and taut behind the table.  "Just before you fell asleep," he added, sensing that Jack wasn't on the same page.

What in hell was I thinking? Jack thought despairingly, fighting a losing battle against staring.  Right at Daniel's nipples.  He'd never been so freaked in his entire life.  It wasn't the first time he'd wound up sitting opposite someone he'd had good sex with in the privacy of his own mental gutter, but this was Daniel.  There was a reason Jack called him Spacemonkey and it had everything to do with who Daniel was and what he meant to Jack.

Not - not sex.

Daniel was the best person he knew, the most giving.  There was nothing he couldn't say to Daniel, nothing Daniel wouldn't understand.  Nothing Daniel wouldn't do for him.  The past few days alone were proof of that.  He was scared to death what would happen if he blurted out some insane Oprahesque confession.  'I woke up gay!'  He didn't know that.  He didn't know anything.  He didn't want to know and he didn't want Daniel to know either.

"Jack?"

"I'm fine," Jack claimed automatically.

"You didn't sleep well," Daniel contradicted.

Jack's head snapped up, his sharp retort going unspoken as he saw the tight lips, the poorly concealed worry.  There was no way he could rebuff Daniel.  "No," he agreed.  "I didn't, and yes, I know I can talk to you about anything."  He felt he owed Daniel something, the guy had reached out when it hurt him to do it, so Jack went with a difficult truth.  "How about every time my knee craps out I think it'll be the last?  It takes so damn long to heal I can't even fool myself I'm bouncing back.  Try hobbling."  His smile was a little twisted.

"It's getting better," Daniel said calmly, offering coffee and cookies.  "Soul food," he explained with a glimmer of a smile.

Jack took a fistful of cookies without Daniel getting sarcastic, which suggested he looked as low and crappy as he felt.  "It wears on me," he apologised roughly.

"My eyesight began to deteriorate when I was ten," Daniel told him, the little smile flickering out.  "The nurse at school tested my eyes but seemed to think I was okay.  I knew I was squinting to bring things into focus, and my mother…"  There was a difficult pause.  "Myopia was possibly hereditary.  It took a while to get someone's attention, to get to see an optometrist.  I was moved from one short-term foster placement to another for a while," Daniel explained gruffly, not looking up.  "I was getting my prescription changed every three months when finally one of the optometrists had to sit me down and tell me that if my eyesight kept on deteriorating with the same rapidity, I would be blind by the time I was eighteen.  It was," Daniel paused again, his vivid, mobile face stilling as he tried to work out what to say about this, "tough."

"Who was with you?" Jack demanded harshly, protective rage boiling up, as always.  There was a reason Daniel didn't talk about his past too much.  Stuff he accepted as the way things were, stuff he shrugged off because he got through it long ago - it shocked his friends, upset them, and that he couldn't deal with.

Daniel looked steadily at him, making with his customary stoic 'this is not about me' face.  "I'm just trying to say that I understand, Jack, and it's okay for you to be snide and disgruntled."

"Did I graduate from sour and edgy or get downgraded?" Jack wondered.

"You added two premium emotions to your basic pissy package," Daniel snorted.

"Three," Jack corrected him.  "You can add homicidal.  I'd like to kill whichever loveless bitch sent you off to hear news like that on your own."

Daniel lay drowsing in the heat.  He'd spent more time at UCLA dreaming over the ocean than lazing on the beach working on his tan, but Jack half-naked and in his most accessible mood was a lure he found impossible to resist.  Consequently, Daniel was working his lily-white ass off.  At least, he was trying to work up the nerve to ask Jack to rub some lotion on his back.

Jack was loafing with his eyes closed, which allowed Daniel to sneak a few admiring peeks at his already golden skin.  Daniel looked unenthusiastically down at his body, which wasn't so much sun-kissed as pallid.  If he put on anything less than SPF30 he burned, peeled like ticker tape, then went pallid again.  He also hallucinated.  Loudly.  The potential for heart-stopping humiliation had him cowering safely beneath his boonie and a slathering of Bain de Soleil.

He thought he was doing quite well for someone who didn't have much practice at lusting.  "Would you do my back?" he asked boldly, going with the moment, then wondering if it was his never-say-die imagination or if Jack jumped.

"Sure," Jack said easily, sitting up with commendable grace and a slightly bored expression.

Unsurprised at this response but still disappointed, Daniel stifled a sigh, rolling onto his front to prop his chin on his hands.  He couldn't help the quiver that ran through him when Jack's warm, heavy hands stroked firmly over his shoulders.  He'd been knocked on his ass by Jack a few times, he knew what Jack's weight on him felt like.  Jack had never had his hands on him though, not like this.  Glad of the concealing boonie, Daniel closed his eyes, feeling only the broad, strong fingers gliding over his skin.

He liked how Jack touched him, liked the certainty of it very much.  He thought seriously about sex with Jack as often as he fantasised it, wryly aware that he had no real clue how Jack would be with a lover, especially another man.  He thought gentle, but he'd dreamed of being touched like this, of being pinned and helpless, squirming into crisp sheets, burying his hot face in a cool pillow as Jack fucked him for a very long time, licking the sweat from his shoulder.

Jack worked the lotion down Daniel's spine, massaging it in with commendable thoroughness, not an inch missed.  If he heard Daniel's breath hitch as he rubbed the small of his back, Jack didn't comment.  If he felt Daniel's fine tremors, his own confident movements didn’t slow or question.

Restlessly shifting his hips in a vain attempt to ease slow-swelling, aching hardness, Daniel jumped when Jack's fingers spread out over his thighs, sliding under the fabric of the faded khaki cut-offs.

"I've got it," Daniel insisted, reality biting.  "Thanks!"

This was the reason Daniel needed to keep his distance.  This wasn't the touch of a lover, but of a friend.  Jack couldn't see it right now, but they needed some distance.  Daniel had to deal with this on his own, had to find his balance again.  He couldn't have Jack's hands on him and not want more.  He wanted to hitch up his hips, trap Jack's hand between his legs, have Jack touch his throbbing cock just this way, with slow, sure sensuality.  Distance wasn't just for his sake, but for Jack's.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you now?" Jack asked.

"Haven't we covered this?" Daniel asked jerkily, hinting Jack away with a shrug, but the hands resting now at his waist were as much distance as Jack seemed prepared to accept.

"Daniel, somehow I don't think we've even started."

"We've talked," Daniel contradicted, furious with himself for being caught by an obvious ambush.  Jack couldn't have trapped him more effectively if he knew Daniel had a hard-on.  He wasn't going anywhere until Jack chose to let him.

"About me."  Jack's still patient voice had an edge of weariness.  "It actually took me a while to figure that out.  The meds must be taking off more of my edge than I realised."

"I'm concerned about you."

"Ditto!"

Daniel rested his brow on his hands.  "I've got nothing to say."

"Not good enough, Daniel, not nearly."  Jack's hands skimmed over Daniel's back to rub his tensing shoulders.  "What's bothering you?" he asked gently.

Jack's affectionate concern brought a lump to Daniel's throat.  "It's nothing," he muttered in a stifled voice.

"Daniel," Jack sighed.

"I don't want - I can't talk about it."

"Why?  Why can't you let me in?"

"There's nothing you can do."

"You sound so damned sure." Jack was thrown by Daniel's quiet certainty.  "How do you know what I can do?  It's not like you're even giving me a chance, not if you won't talk to me."

Daniel wanted to tell Jack, he wanted to be honest.  It hurt him to keep his feelings choked down, to keep his silence, but he believed it would hurt Jack more if he opened up.

"Dammit, Daniel."  It was regret, not anger.  Guilt.  "Can't you trust me?"

"Not with this."  It seemed too harsh a rejection for Daniel to let it just stand unqualified.  "I - I need some time," he added honestly.  "To work it out.  It's private.  I can't talk about it, Jack.  Not with you.  It's too hard."

Jack's hands stilled on his shoulders, then were carefully removed.  "I understand."

Daniel blinked, risking a swift look because Jack sounded so very definite.

"I'm sorry," Jack said colourlessly when their eyes met.  He was pale, his eyes pained.

Hoping like hell his old home-made shorts were too baggy to completely humiliate him, Daniel carefully sat up, facing Jack, defensively hugging his knees to his chest.  "Jack?"  He didn't understand why Jack looked so desperate.  It had to be more than Daniel being reluctant to talk to him.

"You're wrong.  This isn't your problem, it's mine," Jack answered steadily.  "I guess I'm making it hard for you to trust me."

"It isn't like that," Daniel protested, confused by Jack's stern gravity.

"No?  Then what is it like?"  Jack grimaced.  "I'm struggling with it myself, Daniel.  It's the last thing I ever thought would happen and I wasn't prepared for it.  I didn't say anything - I wouldn't have said anything - I wouldn't hurt you like that."

Daniel was struck hard by sudden certainty that Jack knew he was in love with him, and didn't - didn't feel the same.  It was the last thing he'd wanted, for Jack to know and feel responsible.  Choked with regret, he literally couldn't get a word out.

"Too late, huh?" Jack said bitterly, reaching out to cup Daniel's face.  "Can't you understand?"

Of course he could!  Just because he'd hoped…He had an answer now, not the one he'd wanted, but honestly no more than he'd expected.  He wasn't about to let Jack down.  "I do!"

Jack closed his eyes.  "I wish I did."  His hand tightening, he pulled Daniel closer.  "I've got to do this.  I'm sorry, but I've got to know.  I've got to."  He kissed Daniel hard on the lips, his beautiful, demanding mouth clumsy and shaking, then he gasped harshly and pushed Daniel away.

They sat in stupefied silence, staring at each other, the back of Daniel's hand clasped against his mouth as he tried to catch his breath.

"This won't be a problem," Jack bleakly gave his word.  "My attraction.  You don't need to worry about it."

Stunned by the unexpected admission, not really taking it in but driven to reassure, Daniel knelt up, reaching out to smooth trembling fingers over Jack's temple.

Jack grabbed his wrist.  "Don’t you get it?" he hissed.  "I want - I - " he floundered.

"You could tell me anything, Jack.  Anything.  Just trust me," Daniel pleaded, fielding Jack's sudden, fierce hug, wrapping his arms comfortingly around Jack's broad shoulders.

"I want to go to bed with you, Daniel," Jack whispered abjectly into the hollow of Daniel's shoulder, shivers running through his body.  "I don't know what to do."

"Me either," Daniel shyly admitted, rubbing his cheek caressingly into Jack's hair, something he'd wanted to do for months.  "But I want that too."

All the air seemed to whoosh out of Jack's lungs, like he'd been punched in the gut.  It took him a moment to get it together and sit back.  "You…"  He gaped at Daniel, unable to think of anything else to say.

Daniel nodded.  "I do, Jack.  If you…Not that there's any pressure," he pointed out conscientiously.  "It's okay to be freaked out," he added.  "I'm not offended."  Which was true.  Jack probably would be offended if he had the least inkling how strenuously Daniel had resisted falling in love with him, and how slow he was to accept his sexual attraction.

"You bewilder me, Daniel."

"That doesn't sound like it's a bad thing," Daniel prompted hopefully, feeling that the bewilderment was mutual.  He still didn't know how they got from Jack realising Daniel was in love with him and trying to let him down gently to Jack admitting - apparently to both of them - that he was attracted to Daniel.

"I've known you for four years and today you turn my life upside down," Jack sighed.  "That's not just bewildering, Daniel.  That's terrifying."

"I'm tired, Jack," Daniel said softly.  "I'm going back to the tent and I want you to come with me."

Jack swallowed hard.

"I want you to sleep with me."  Daniel smiled blindly.  "Just sleep."  He dropped his head and looked away.  "I need this."  Jack wouldn't make him beg.  He wouldn't.  No way could Daniel just come out with it cold, how long he'd had to sleep alone, how much he missed sharing his bed and his space.  How much he needed Jack to be there with him when he woke up.  He was presuming both on their friendship and their uncertain attraction, but he thought maybe Jack needed this too.

"Help me up?" came the quiet answer.

Relief crashed through Daniel in a dizzying wave.

Jack was able to support his own weight much more, which made getting him to his feet a hell of a lot easier.  Daniel let Jack start back up the hill, stopping to gather up the gear they'd brought with them, then he caught Jack up.  He was glad Jack had the sense to keep on using his crutches even though the swelling was greatly reduced and he could put his foot to the ground again.

"Everything just got impossibly complicated," Jack commented as he made his way expertly up the narrow path to the camp, his smooth pace with the crutches never faltering or jarring his knee.

"It's been complicated for a while," Daniel replied, "for me."

Jack stopped, peering back over his shoulder, frowning heavily.  "Do you really want to sleep?"

"I want to make love with you, but I'll settle for sleep."

Jack was plainly taken aback by Daniel's straightforward answer.  "How long is 'a while', Daniel?" he asked directly.

"I think you know, but if you need to hear it?"  Respect for Jack demanded the truth from him, even though this was something Daniel didn't want to say and Jack wouldn't want to hear.  "I missed you while you were on Edora.  Terribly."

The stricken look was back in Jack's eyes.  "This is why I hit you so hard, why you believed everything I said to you that day."

"I can't talk about it, Jack.  Not yet," Daniel said tiredly.

"But you will?"

Daniel nodded agreement.  He expected Jack would interpret that to mean the moment he opened his eyes, but for now he was too tired to care.  He trudged behind Jack up the narrow trail, both of them quiet, even when they got back to camp.  He put the pack with their gear onto the table as they went past, then walked into the tent, Jack abandoning his crutches with relief.

"When you said sleep with you…" Jack began.

"I meant with me," Daniel said firmly, hauling his sleeping bag off his bed and onto the floor.

"Okay."  Jack made no other comment as Daniel pulled Jack's sleeping bag onto the floor too, setting the two side by side, then smoothing the two pillows over them.  Naturally, Jack's ass was the first to hit the floor as Daniel kind of ran out of steam.

He was sleeping with Jack for the first time and the sheer mundanity of it all floored him.  Sex wasn't on the agenda.  Jack wasn't even looking at Daniel as he unlaced his boots and tossed them on the camp bed, then sat down.  They lay stiffly side by side, not speaking, then Daniel rolled onto his side, slipping a cautious arm across Jack's chest.  Jack's hand came up at once to curl around his forearm.

"You're very beautiful."

It actually took Daniel a moment to realise the quiet comment was meant for him.

An armful of Daniel when he was sleepy and pliant was much nicer and infinitely more disturbing than when he was sweaty, snide and stinky.  He lay neatly against Jack, dead to the world, the lines of strain around his eyes and across his brow smoothed in sleep.

Jack was wide awake and still in a state of shock.  Even out for the count like this, Daniel's body was reacting to his, the gentle swell of an erection hot against his hip.  Any doubts Jack had had about his attraction had vanished during the brief kiss he'd planted on Daniel.  It had to be about twenty years since he got that hard, that fast.

Daniel said he wanted to make love, but Jack's gut told him the 'no pressure' thing worked both ways.  It was about time the fucker kicked in, because he'd been dead wrong about everything else.  This, he couldn't screw up.  He wasn't naïve, he'd been in the service too long for that, and he guessed he'd know what to do for Daniel when the time came.

Which was basically what was scaring him shitless.  When.  He couldn't remember consciously passing 'if'.

Or maybe he did.  He couldn't get all gushy like that with Daniel then take it back.  He wasn't even drunk.  It usually took about twelve beers for him to get that dumb.

He was right about the two of them being up shit creek without the proverbial, too.  All his pushing had done was dig them in deeper.  Daniel had wanted to keep his distance, hell, he still needed to, and Jack winning because he'd basically worn Daniel out was not helping either of them to open up.

'There are none so blind as those who will not see'.  That's what they said.  That was Jack.  Blind as Daniel's frigging bat.  He couldn't expect any kind of declaration of feelings any time soon.  He couldn't expect anything, period, so he was going to go on not knowing where he stood for a while longer.  Daniel was terrible at talking about himself, and worse at hurting people.  This was not a good combination.  Daniel wouldn't spill until he was good and ready, which would be too late for Jack to have helped him in any way at all, even though it should be obvious to Daniel that Jack should be allowed to fix the fuck-up he created.

It struck him then that even in sleep, Daniel was self-contained.  Daniel's head was on his pillow, his forehead resting against Jack's arm, the soft bangs tickling Jack whenever he moved.  He should be sprawled all over Jack like he owned him.  He should be making Jack pay for being a bastard to him.  He was too scared to open up and Jack was past the point of blame; he just needed to make it right between them.

He slithered down an inch or two, rolling onto his side.  Daniel stirred, frowning, then settled again, his forehead resting against Jack's now.  Jack kissed him, a whisper of a thing.  The wide, mobile mouth was firmer than he'd expected.  He hadn't been in any state to take in detail the first time they'd kissed but he was more than curious now.  He kissed Daniel again, gratified he was getting something right when Daniel's lips gently parted.  He was surprisingly cool about doing this.  Maybe being into Daniel made the difference.  He softly stroked his tongue over Daniel's lips, and Woo, momma!  There went those last few inches.  Daniel was up, all the way up.  Sporting serious wood there.

He was also awake.

Jack jerked back guiltily, looked into gentle, incredulous blue eyes and found he couldn't look away.  Daniel's fingertips skimmed his jaw to rest against his cheek.  His fingers were shaking.  Daniel was shaking.  Then they were kissing hesitantly, with closed mouths, neither sure what to do with their hands, where it was okay to touch.  Jack's wound up at Daniel's hips, Daniel's at Jack's shoulders, neither of them exactly melting into the other.

"I only think I know what I'm doing," Jack confessed.

"I know what I've read in books."  Daniel seemed to feel that something more was needed as they continued to look at one another warily as opposed to setting the tent on fire with passion.  "Fully illustrated."  He edged closer and kissed Jack tenderly.  "Is this…?" he whispered against Jack's mouth.

"It's good," Jack murmured reassuringly.  Long fingers cupped his head then, holding him close for a sweet, lingering kiss.  Daniel's tongue flickered over his lips, delicately tasting.  Jack decided that being licked by a guy was perfect justification for cuddling the guy and promptly did so.  Daniel not only didn't freeze up, he seemed to enjoy it.  He enjoyed it enough he took Jack's hand from his back and carefully put it on his ass, giving Jack plenty of freaking time.  Jack appreciated the consideration but found he liked where his hand was just fine.  Daniel had some very intriguing curves, even if they were firmer than Jack was used to.

At this point Daniel totally disarmed him by heaving a sigh that seemed to start at his toes, then rubbed his face against Jack's, arms slipping up to wrap his arms tightly around his neck.

It didn't seem as if they were in any kind of hurry to get naked or anything, so Jack made with some soothing petting, fascinated by the unaccustomed sensation of sleek muscle sliding beneath the silken skin so warm against him.   It worked so well Daniel got adventurous, kissing Jack on the mouth again, an insistent tongue probing.  Jack was flattered into submission by a gasp of what sounded suspiciously like excitement.  It was good to know that Daniel was really into him too.  Jack found himself relaxing, opening up to Daniel's intensity, his tenderness.  There was so much feeling in the mouth trembling against his, enough to get them both over the shock of the slow, sinuous slide of tongue over tongue.

Daniel pushed and Jack gave, rolling onto his back with Daniel on top of him.  Daniel lay stiffly at first, protective of Jack's knee, melting into Jack's body only when he parted his legs and basically made Daniel feel right at home.  Their bodies fit like their mouths fit.  Soft, fine hairs dusted Daniel's thighs and calves, strangely sensuous as they rubbed between Jack's.  The long, flat plane of Daniel's belly was exotically different, like the broad shoulders and smooth chest.  So far, so surprisingly good.

The narrow hips though, hard against his, and Daniel's cock, hot and bulging, straining now against the fabric of the cut-offs as he angled his mouth to deepen the kiss.  This was going to take some getting used to, Jack admitted to himself, and there was no time like the present to start acclimating.  Daniel was very sensitive, which meant rejection was not an option at any time, but especially not now.

He cupped Daniel's ass, drawing him in tight, finding the friction very good as Daniel moved over him, endearingly greedy about having his kiss just the way he wanted it.  Inquisitively, Jack kneaded the firm curves, a soft gasp answering him.  Unconsciously, Daniel's hips rocked in time with his sweet stroking in Jack's mouth, and this felt even better.

He pushed up and Daniel pushed down, pinning him flat with an aggravated grunt.  Jack meekly subsided, grasping that Daniel was kissing him now and his job here was to keep his ass on the grass and be kissed.  Or, he guessed he could stop being the perfect gentleman and give the kiss a little gas himself.  Daniel actually quivered when Jack began to suck on his exploring tongue.

Jack was still very cool with everything, interested in his own physical responses as Daniel finally caved to the need to breathe and began to touch him.  He didn't feel that Daniel was shy about being with him, more that he didn't want to rush this.  Daniel's fingers gently explored contours, tracing down the length of Jack's bicep before skimming over to his chest to poke at the hair peppering his skin.  The eager face was so like the one in his dream, although he remembered a lot more virginal hesitance and a lot less playful mauling.  Daniel had teeth and he was not afraid to use them.  Apparently Jack tasted as good as he looked.

"Daniel?" Jack asked, snorting with laughter as his face was tilted in a businesslike manner to allow Daniel to kiss his throat.  Jack was flattered again by the tiny sounds of appreciation Daniel was letting out as he grazed over the sensitive skin.  "Are you not rushing sex or are you not rushing me?"  In answer, Daniel's weight shifted over to the side, a slender hand stroking over Jack's crotch.  Jack embarrassed himself, how fast his hand shot out to hold Daniel's right there.  "Rush me!"  He felt a smile against his skin, the erotic, nipping tease of careful teeth.

"Okay," Daniel whispered, his rhythmically squeezing hand making a very compelling case for Jack doing nothing but lie there and enjoy it.

He wasn't totally selfish though.  He tipped Daniel onto his side, rolling to face him, lightly rubbing Daniel's belly.  Looking him straight in the eyes, Daniel took Jack's hand and slid it down, clasping it firmly against his skin.  Daniel shuddered when Jack cupped his crotch.

"Kiss me."

It wasn't something Jack had ever thought he'd hear from Daniel, but he obliged with all the warmth they'd found and shared.  Daniel opened to him as their lips met, urging Jack to fall into him.  At first Jack was distracted by the way Daniel was sensuously rubbing his crotch against Jack's hand, then the eager licking of his tongue won out.  Then the other hand, Daniel's hand, the one Jack was - what was he?  Exactly?  Humping was such an ugly adjective.

Jack pulled away, wanting to talk about this, Daniel scowling and following, taking a vengeful little bite at Jack's lips, which he kissed better.  Jack gave him a 'thank you' kiss, then dove right back in.  Whatever he'd had to say wasn't nearly as important as…God, this was good.  He ground his lips satisfyingly against Daniel's, thrusting aggressively deep into his mouth, Daniel squeezing him hard against his silky palate, then trying to shove him out.

Everything was getting sticky and interesting, especially Daniel, whose crotch was getting damp.  Guessing this would be okay, he began to unbutton Daniel's cut-offs.  As he pushed the fabric aside, Daniel's erection sprang free.  Somewhat disconcerted, but still willing, Jack took the flushed, slippery cock in his hand, provoking a pleasured sigh from Daniel and another of those shudders that wracked him from head to toe.

Daniel in turn unbuttoned Jack's fly and went for the free steak knives.

Talk about an epiphany.  Two guys who really, really liked each other, who had reasonable co-ordination and healthy libidos could do full justice to all this feeling, even first time out.

As Daniel peppered hot, affectionate kisses all over Jack's face, they stroked each other's cocks, nothing fancy, just hi there and hello.  Nothing Jack hadn't done for himself a thousand times or so.  Except his own hand never put this tremor in his thighs or butterflies in his belly; only Sara, when it was really good between them, when it was perfect.

Two guys who really, really liked each other, two guys with their cut-offs around their knees, hands slow and clumsy, both of them breathing hard and making noise, not quite getting it together as they got it on, but still getting carried away.  Two guys.

Daniel.

Daniel slamming into him, yelling out, holding grimly onto Jack as his slim body shook violently, slick heat splashing across Jack's thighs and belly, pulsing over his dripping fingers.  Apparently, for a bemused Jack, his thighs and ass clenching, driving hips stuttering, this was as good as it got.

Who'd o' thunk it?

"Can I look at your ass?"

Daniel looked up in surprise from his very late lunch - or very early dinner - of chilled canned peaches.  This didn't sound like an idle question.

"Please," Jack added politely.

Daniel got up willingly enough, then turned around, still half-expecting the other shoe to drop.

"Lose the khaki."

But not that one, obviously.  Daniel turned right back around.  "You want me to…"

"Take your clothes off."

"Um…"

"We're sleeping together," Jack reminded him, his face alight with warm amusement.  "Sooner or later, I have to see you naked."

"That's a fair point," Daniel admitted, risking a small smile because Jack sounded as if he was happy about the two of them sleeping together.  He glanced across at the tent.

Jack rolled his eyes.  "There isn't anyone but us on the whole of this planet, Daniel!  Lighten up and get naked."

Daniel slowly unbuttoned his now crumpled and suspiciously sticky cut-offs, going red because Jack was ogling him shamelessly.  Feeling some justification in turning his back - which was what Jack wanted to look at, after all, he let the shorts slide down his legs and stepped out of them.  Behind him, Jack caught a ragged breath.

"Jesus."

The flatness of the observation bothered Daniel.  He went to Jack at once, laying a careful hand on his shoulder.  Jack stood up, reaching around to hold Daniel's ass and draw him closer.

"Maybe I never imagined this," Jack said simply, "but I can't tell you what a turn on it is."

Daniel slid his arms around Jack's neck.  "You don't need to," he bashfully reminded Jack, pushing his hips subtly into Jack's, his eyes closing as Jack stroked his ass, beginning to get hard against him.  He found himself smiling again as Jack kissed his shoulder.

"I want nothing more than to crawl right back into bed with you and try a little more of this," Jack suggested, doing some pushing of his own.

It was erotic, and freeing in a way, for Daniel to be naked when Jack was still in his cut-offs.  He liked the way Jack was massaging his ass, each slow move rolling Daniel's hips into his, sending shivers of pleasure through them both.  As they swayed and rocked together, it seemed almost as if they were dancing.  Somehow it surprised him that he could move Jack so much.  He hadn't thought this part of it through, but then, he'd never expected they'd wind up here.

Jack's lips grazed along his jawline to his mouth for a gentle, questioning kiss.  His dark, expressive eyes were troubled.

Tangling his fingers soothingly in Jack's hair, Daniel leaned in to whisper.  "Do you want to make love, Jack?"  He felt the tremor that ran through Jack, an answering nod, then a warm mouth in the hollow of his throat.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm very okay."

"Is that the problem?"

"I guess so."  Jack shrugged eloquently, his belly sliding over Daniel's.

Daniel wasn't sure if he was pulling or if Jack was pushing, but they were closing in on the tent either way.  He cleared his throat, very aware of the way his heart was beginning to pound.  "You were saying?" he asked carefully.

"I guess if I'd thought about it much, I would have thought the first time a man went to bed with another man he might reasonably expect to be more…well…" Jack couldn't find a way to adequately describe what they were supposed to be.

"It feels right to me, Jack," Daniel offered diffidently.

Seeming to understand completely, and to feel the same, Jack nodded wordlessly, his eyes warm.  He let Daniel go as they stooped to get into the tent, then grabbed him around the waist before he'd taken more than a few steps away.  "I didn't start thinking about anything that was happening between us until I had to," Jack confessed.  "I didn't know how much I needed to touch you until you wouldn't let me.  I never thought that was sexual, Daniel, but like I said, my head seems to have been in my ass for maybe longer than I care to admit."

Daniel reached behind him to curve his hand around the Jack's nape, his other hand resting over Jack's, clasped together at his waist.  "And now it's in mine," he said sympathetically, feeling better when Jack snorted with laughter, burying his face in Daniel's hair.

"We can't get into anything right now," Jack reminded him regretfully.  "Hammond is going to radio in any minute and I can hardly tell him we'll take a rain check, we're having moderately okay, kind of inhibited, sex right now."

"Oh."

"Not that there's anything wrong with you."

"Or with you."

"We're just…"

"Not very good at it yet."

"Did you bring any of those books with you?"  Jack paused.  "How illustrated is illustrated?"

"Fully."

"Oh."

"My fantasies didn't involve so much sweat and…"

"Toil?"

"It was good, though," Daniel observed gently.

"The feelings were good," Jack whispered tenderly into his ear.

Daniel was left wondering how and when Jack had learned to say exactly the right thing.  To mean it.

"We're good," Jack said roughly, chuckling again as Daniel's answer to this tender avowal was a cavernous yawn.

Daniel got a depressingly chaste kiss on the forehead, then Jack shoved him into bed and added insult to injury by tucking him in.  He was struggling to come up with a suitably crushing put-down when the world faded to silence.

Feedback makes the difference between writing and posting; please contact me at biblio@jd-divas.com