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"Why are we going to a lake
when you live by a lake?" Daniel asked as he drank in the beauty surrounding
him.
"Echo Lake," Jack said softly.
"My grandpa used to bring me up here when I was a boy."
Clearer than the sharp tang
of pine, Daniel could smell Jack's sweat as they climbed in the breathless
heat and hush of the wood. His scent was strong and clean.
Undeniably masculine. Arousing. Heat and pleasure poured from
Jack, walking so close by his side, arms brushing as they pleasurably bumped
hip or thigh. He groped Jack's ass, startling a chuckle from Jack
and reproving swipe at his own butt.
When Jack looked at him, Daniel
smiled. Something magical happened to Jack when Daniel did that.
Daniel smiling - really smiling - tore through the man and left him shy-eyed
and vulnerable, yet still possessive, and oddly proud. It brought
the heat now to Daniel's face. Jack chuckled again, elbowing him
in the ribs.
It wasn't perfect, because nothing
ever was, but it was good. Everything was easy between them again,
they were flowing through, side by side.
There was never a moment when
Daniel thought about it, his hand was just in Jack's between one step and
the next and after a quick assessing look, that was it, Jack was with him.
They were doing it.
Holding hands.
Two men who sweated and bled
what they did and were beginning to know and share who they were, walking
hand in hand through a wood scented with summer and wildflowers.
Two men in love.
"If a bluebird lands on my shoulder
I'm killing the smug little fucker," Jack objected mildly. He fell
into silence, his clasp loose and warm around Daniel's hand.
Daniel was happy to see Jack
as relaxed as he could be, enjoying it too much to question it. Jack
was taking him to Echo Lake thrill seeking, wanting Daniel naked, slippery
and pliant. He was willing but doubtful Jack would follow through
in a place thick with memories of his grandfather. He was hoping
to get Jack talking, hungry for stories about him as a boy.
He smiled, a little wryly.
He was hungry for everything he could have of Jack, wanting all the new
possibilities opening before them as lovers. There were things they
could share now and would, if Daniel had his way, things they'd held close
before. As much as he'd missed being touched, Daniel had missed touching.
Simply reaching out, and finding. He'd been alone for much of his
life, but it was only when he was apart from Jack that he felt lonely.
He missed talking…being with someone who cared how he felt. He wasn't
needy, didn't ask much…just to have someone there…
"We're here!" Jack sang out.
Daniel ducked his head below
a low-hanging pine branch and stepped from the trail onto a rock that opened
out in front of him in a series of ledges climbing to a plateau high above
the crystal clear pool below them. The sun refracted from the surface
of the water, an ever-shifting dance of light playing over the rock wall.
"South-facing," Jack gloated.
Daniel stood at the rock's edge,
Jack spooned up behind him, quietly content with his nearness. He
rested his hands over the ones clasped at his waist and let his head rest
against Jack's shoulder.
The air was warm and still,
the sky a vault of blue above them, as far as the eye could see.
The lake glowed pellucid in the strong, clear light, mirroring the sky.
Daniel was entranced by the calm, depthless azure of the pool, encircled
as it was by stone. He had a feeling this place had never echoed
a voice raised in anger.
"It's lovely," Daniel admired
sincerely.
They stood that way for a long
time, letting the peace soak into them before they made their way down
to the lower levels.
Jack shucked his pack and handed
Daniel the lunch and drinks they'd packed while he spread out the blanket.
Then he undressed without fuss, folding his clothes and piling them neatly
to hand.
Daniel doubted he'd ever be
as comfortable in his own skin as Jack was. He half-turned as Jack
settled onto a rock to watch him. He felt stupid for being shy in
front of the man he was having sex with, god knows he'd managed to flaunt
his naked ass all over their bedroom last night. Being outside was
different, but he made himself face Jack again. Unlacing his hiking
boots and balling up his socks was pragmatic enough to make Jack 'tsk'
impatiently. Daniel pulled off his white T-shirt, which had received
a quick dunk in the bath by way of laundering. He found himself watching
Jack watching him. Or rather, watching Jack's reaction to watching
him.
It wasn't as if Daniel had never
been erect himself. He knew exactly what prompted it, what it felt
like. What Jack felt like right now. He just wasn't used to
seeing it or being the cause of it. Jack's penis flushed and filled
before his eyes, jutting proudly as Daniel peeled off his jeans.
He dropped them distractedly behind him, wide-eyed at pugnacious proof-positive
of Jack's attraction to him. "What are you thinking?" he asked nervously.
"About making love with you,"
Jack replied honestly after a perceptible pause. "That I agreed to
wait and I will," he amended, his eyes wicked above a wolfish smile.
"I'll try, anyway."
Daniel groaned silently.
Jack was impossible! Gorgeous and principled wasn't enough for him.
No, not for Jack. He had to be smart and funny, bad tempered and
sarcastic, pushy and quirky and charming…so damned charming. Daniel's
heart gave a great thump in his chest when the full force of Jack's smile
hammered home, rocking him back on his heels. Literally.
They were supposed to be swimming,
but Jack's slow, confident swagger belied that and Daniel let him take
him down to the blanket in a sprawl of heat, weight and need. Jack
kissed his shoulder.
"I am trying," he promised.
"But I want you. God, how I want you."
Jack was over him, around him,
everywhere, touching, kissing, holding. Daniel's mind flamed in the
slide of hot skin over skin; Jack heavy on him, giving and taking his pleasure.
Owning him. Gentle biting at hard nipples. Soft kisses pressed
to the sharp contour of his hip. Jack's face buried into the soft
swell of belly below his navel, just breathing him in. Daniel was
hard, straining…lost. He was shaking and ached inside.
"I could take you," Jack whispered
into his skin. "Right now. Lift your legs over my shoulders
and fuck you slow and deep. You want it. You need it, don't
you? Don't you? Need me inside you."
"Yes." Daniel's vision
blurred and he blinked hard as Jack surged up to kiss him fiercely.
"I'm not quitting on you, you
get that!" Jack flung the hard, angry words at Daniel, his eyes still tender.
"I can't. I'm not a martyr and neither are you and life has fucked
us over too many times for us to let go now. I shouldn't, I mustn't.
Big fucking joke. I need it all and I'm taking it. You and
my team. I can't rationalise the choice I've made, Daniel.
I won't even try. Just gotta live with it."
"Jack," Daniel sighed, pulling
Jack down to him to share a quiet kiss.
"I never meant to fall in love
with you, never wanted it," Jack admitted with stark honesty. "It
is what it is, Daniel. I can't change it. I won't. I
have to have it all. I have to have you. All I can do is live
it as hard as I fucking can, as long as I can. Just…don't let me
be stupid," he pleaded.
"No," Daniel promised.
"I never have."
Jack smiled suddenly.
"What do you think it was hooked me in the first place?"
"Do you want to make love?"
Daniel offered shyly, rocking his hips up suggestively.
Jack caught his breath.
"I need to. You need to. So let's wait awhile, until reality
bites and we get this, what we are now, and we only want to because it's
right."
Daniel got the 'we'. He
got his choice, and he got Jack. "Better cool those jets, flyboy."
He rolled rapidly, taking Jack beneath him, then again. Naturally
Jack held onto him and they both wound up in the water, howling.
Jack ducked him and swam off laughing as he surfaced, sputtering water
and dire Abydonian curses. Daniel chased after him and they happily
made idiots of themselves until they were breathless and warmed through.
They got out and tangled pleasantly
on the blanket to idle in the sun.
"You stole my life, you bastard,"
Jack accused Daniel softly.
Daniel thoughtfully nibbled
his ear, tugging the lobe gently between his teeth. He pushed Jack
flat and kissed every inch of his throat, quivering beneath the big hands
stroking his back.
"Mmm," Jack sighed. "Apology
accepted."
"Not," Daniel contradicted,
lavishing attention on Jack's neglected shoulders.
"Hmm?"
"Not apologising," Daniel elaborated.
Then he emphasised his point of view with some serious kissing and a spirited
attempt to suck Jack's tongue clear out of his head. He raised his
head to grin at Jack. "So…"
"You talk too much," Jack complained
indignantly, yanking him back.
The usual happened, one of them
got pushy, the other pushed back, Daniel wound up on his back with Jack
on top of him. Staring. Staring and staring down at his mouth.
Jack brushed his thumb across Daniel's lips. Then he lowered his
head and blew on them. Daniel lifted his head for the kiss and Jack
eased him gently back. Jack's breath warmed his skin and then he
touched his lips to Daniel's. And again. Now Jack brushed his
closed mouth over Daniel's, back and forth, over and over.
Daniel swallowed the urge to
just reach up and yank Jack down by the ears and then he just swallowed,
hard, as Jack's tongue softly traced the outlines of his lips. Daniel's
turn to stare up at Jack, wide-eyed and beginning to tremble as Jack licked
the very corner of his mouth then delicately touched his tongue to his
lower lip in tiny subtle swipes. Jack licked every part of his mouth
and began to suck dreamily on his lower lip, coaxing him to open.
He closed his eyes, cradling
Jack to him as Jack's tongue slid over his teeth, gentle massaging pressure
easing him past that barrier to stroke sensuously deep into Daniel's mouth.
Daniel moaned, his hips pushing
insistently into Jack's. Maddeningly, Jack's body moved with him,
not against, as he slowly drove Daniel out of his mind. Daniel moaned
again, arching up to deepen the kiss. Jack pulled away, smiling confidently,
his eyes hot, making it clear he would be satisfied with nothing less than
surrender. Daniel lay down reluctantly, slightly self-conscious about
his mouth, which felt - well, he seemed to be pouting here.
Guys did not pout.
Daniel certainly didn't.
Although, he had to admit the
- um - swollen lips had been earned in a good cause as Jack slid back into
his mouth as if he owned him. Daniel's embarrassing eagerness did
nothing to disabuse his masterful lover of this belief and indeed encouraged
him to passionately deepen the kiss until Daniel's whole body was pounding.
His skin burned where Jack's hand curved over his hip and he couldn't stand
it. How could Jack not take him when his whole body was screaming
out for him? He pulled Jack's hand from his hip and rested it over
his slick, throbbing erection, hissing his pleasure against the tongue
wrapped around his own, Jack obligingly rolling onto his side to make him
comfortable
Daniel groaned as Jack masturbated
him as thoroughly as he was kissing him, opening dazed eyes to find Jack
watching him intently as he explored Daniel's penis, his long, callused
fingers gentle and curious as he stroked. Jack's face lit up when
his forefinger rubbed circles over a spot on the underside of Daniel's
shaft that had him gasping raggedly, his hips arching convulsively from
the blanket.
"Easy, Danny, easy," Jack crooned
as his thumb pressed into the head of Daniel's penis.
Daniel's mouth gaped in a silent
scream, head thrashing at the unbearable stimulation, white flashes going
off behind his eyes as Jack patiently rubbed him up just right, just there,
God…"More!" Moremoremore. "MORE! Jack! Jesus, m…"
Jack's mouth hushed his, a sob strangling in his throat. Just.
There. Please. He was close, he was there, writhing desperately,
wracked by pleasure so intense it edged towards pain as his body seized
and he was jerking and spurting in Jack's waiting hand, still hard, still
wanting…
Jack bit down on his tongue
and shattered him…
Daniel's weight settled on Jack's
lap, long legs stretching comfortably to hook around Jack's ankles.
Jack grunted offensively.
"Put that cheesecake right back down, Daniel," he ordered briskly, taking
the plate. "You're getting porky."
Daniel noted with interest that
his being porky didn't seem to put Jack off in the slightest. After
gobbling down the cheesecake in three big bites, his colonel was roaming
far and wide, hands busy establishing territorial rights over Daniel's
ass. He reached behind and slid his coffee carefully to the table's
edge to take a sip of rich, biting perfection, slipping silkily over his
tongue.
Jack scowled at the mug of coffee.
"I wish you looked at me like that," he complained, shifting his weight
on the kitchen chair. Daniel straightened up at once, worried about
Jack's knees. Porky or not, he was six feet tall and no featherweight.
Jack's scowl darkened, his hands grasping Daniel's behind emphatically
to pull him right back down. Apparently where he was supposed to
be. His whole body gloated agreement. He took another slow
sip of coffee then held the mug to Jack's lips.
Jack drank, eyes wide and laughing.
"Consensual coffee? Cool!" he teased.
Daniel put the mug down and
slid his arms around Jack's neck, idly stroking his hair, rubbing the thick,
soft strands between his fingertips. "Think we can get through a
couple of hours without having sex?" he asked lazily.
"Not a chance."
"Oh."
"We fly back tomorrow," Jack
said regretfully, stealing a quick, commiserating kiss as Daniel's face
fell. "I guess we have to start thinking about practicalities.
Like where you're sleeping tomorrow night. And the night after that."
"P3R-795," Daniel supplied helpfully.
"Think Carter will notice if
I zip our sleeping bags together?" Jack asked hopefully.
"We can't have sex off-world!"
Jack looked shocked. "Never
crossed my mind," he insisted with a palpable lack of conviction.
Daniel sighed. Jack sighed
too. Then they each offered the other a little oral moral support.
Jack gripped Daniel's arms and
shook him a little. "Tomorrow night? Do we have nice sex in
my bed or yours?" He reached up to slip Daniel's glasses off and
set them safely on the table.
Daniel caved to temptation,
gently skimming his knuckles down Jack's cheekbone. Jack seemed surprised
but pleased. Encouraged, Daniel let his fingers dance over Jack's
warm, whiskered skin, learning by touch the contours of a face he knew
better than his own.
"Beautiful," Jack breathed.
"Yes," Daniel agreed, looking
at the proud, strong features he loved. He could drown in those liquid
eyes when Jack was in this mood, so filled with tenderness. Daniel
was almost afraid to be this happy. He always paid for it with the
people he loved. Always.
"Sex!" Jack prompted sharply.
"Focus."
"Does it have to be sex?
It's June. Baseball," Daniel offered vaguely, fascinated by the stubble
bristling against his fingertips.
"Baseball?" Jack echoed incredulously.
"The Symphony? Movie?
Dinner? Drop the presents off and then dinner?"
"Dinner then sex?" Jack pushed,
obviously scenting an opportunity. "What presents?"
"For Sam, of course," Daniel
muttered, busy now with Jack's strangely sexy scarred eyebrow. Jack
really didn't seem to mind the attention. If anything he was, um,
basking. "And Teal'c. Janet. Cass. George.
You always buy presents and…and you're really cute when you blush.
Why are you blushing, Jack?"
Jack buried his hot face into
Daniel's throat and mumbled something that took a while to sink in.
"You only buy me presents?"
Daniel asked eventually, slightly at a loss.
"I like you," Jack snapped,
eyeing him sourly.
Daniel blinked at that.
"You like Teal'c. And Sam." A thought occurred. "You
definitely buy presents for Cass," he reminded Jack smugly. "You
love her, so…oh. Oh." Daniel smiled shyly, rather pleased.
He at least bought presents for everyone on the rare occasions they let
him out of their sight. He only spent three times more on Jack.
Maybe four. Or five. Um…
Jack shrugged. "Pathetic,
huh? Loving you even before you started putting out."
Daniel felt embarrassed, obviously,
but also…it was nice to know he wasn't the only one, that it wasn't odd
to love another man so deeply you thought about him all the time, even
before you wanted to…
Realisation dawned on Jack's
face too. "Let's quit on this one while we're still ahead," he said
slowly. "And get back to where we get hot and sweaty tomorrow night?"
"My place."
"Mine."
"I have work," Daniel reminded
him.
"No, you don't. You've
got better things to do," Jack contradicted. ]
"I'm not sitting on your couch
watching TV when I could be…"
"Having an orgasm?"
"How much time were you thinking
of spending in bed?" Daniel asked feebly, blushing.
"In bed or having sex?" Jack
asked keenly.
Um…Daniel actually couldn’t
think of an adequate response to that, especially when he remembered how
long it took him to work out Jack wanted sex when he was standing in front
of the man half naked and glistening. A man who was really looking!
The potential for embarrassment was incalculable. "Can we do stuff?"
Less embarrassing stuff. "I mean, go out," Daniel clarified hurriedly,
trying to head Jack off at the pass that led to Humiliation. The
man sucked toes. It was a short step from that to say, dress-up.
Role play. Sex in the study booths in the basement of the university
library; those ones on the left hand side were right by the desk so the
librarian never checked them of course, she always walked the other way,
and…not that he'd spent a whole lot of time thinking about sex with Jack
in the stacks. Or the booths. Or over the issue counter for
that matter. Um…"Date. Shop. Go to games."
"You don't go to games now,"
Jack said impatiently. Then he caught Daniel's slightly suggestive
look and whooped in triumph, snatching an exuberant kiss. "Oh, man!
This keeps getting better and better. Sex, food AND sports!" he gloated.
"Do you want to be with me every
night?" Daniel asked tentatively, smoothing his fingers anxiously over
Jack's shirt.
Jack frowned. "You don't?"
he asked sharply.
"Yes, but…"
Jack kissed him. "But
me no buts. Unless they're…"
Daniel clapped his hand over
Jack's mouth. "Don't!" he warned. Jack mouthed 'butts' against
his hand. "Prick." 'That too' tickled against his palm, which
Jack smirked against and kissed. "It's not discreet," he reminded
Jack apologetically.
Jack removed his hand, kissed
it again and held onto it. "Fuck discreet!"
"Don't be stupid and don't look
at me like that. You told me to stop you being stupid," Daniel explained
rapidly. "I mean it. Don't look at me like that. Jack.
Jack!" Daniel gasped as Jack got a good grip under his butt and stood up.
He wrapped his legs round Jack's back, instinctively trying to make himself
lighter. Honestly. Not because he…Really. Lighter.
"I hate when you do this stuff," he complained bitterly, having to tighten
his clasp around Jack's neck to steady himself. Or something.
"Only because you love it when
I'm masterful and you'd rather die than admit it," Jack observed complacently
as he carried Daniel towards the bedroom. "You must be one big hard-on
when we're in the field," he added, eyeing Daniel speculatively.
Daniel blushed furiously and
buried his face against Jack's shoulder. "Bastard," he muttered.
"There, there," Jack crooned,
not entirely without sympathy. "You'll get everything that's coming
to you the moment I hurl you onto my bed."
"I hope you stub your toe and
drop me," Daniel told him unkindly. "I doubt I'll survive the Harlequin
romance phase of this relationship."
"Does the ruggedly handsome
Special Ops-trained hero slake a lot of lust on the quivering body of his
gorgeous young archaeologist in those things?" Jack asked interestedly.
"Young? I'm thirty-six!"
Daniel protested. "And not unless the archaeologist was quivering
with suppressed laughter."
"If you were a chick," Jack
hooted derisively, "you'd be wearing a bun and those glasses with plain
lenses. AND sensible shoes. Lace-ups. With a tweed suit.
Driving a Volvo. And you have no sense of humour," he added maliciously
as he kicked the bedroom door shut behind them. There was a loud
crash from the living room.
"I think your crappie just fell
off the wall," Daniel observed pleasurably.
Jack snarled wordlessly, not
so much hurling Daniel onto the bed as falling on top of him, winding him
and generally mashing him flat. By the time Daniel had enough breath
to wheeze out a protest, they were both naked and Jack was investigating
the contents of the oppressive skincare regime gift bag.
"Looks like you get the free
facial with your next orgasm," Jack announced happily. He waved a
tube temptingly. "I'm good with this stuff. Years of practice."
"With make-up?" Daniel asked
sweetly as he scrambled towards the dresser and temporary refuge in flannel.
Jack vaulted athletically onto the bed, planted his foot right where Daniel
was about to roll, and sat on him.
"With cammo, you sarcastic shit."
Jack dropped the gift bag at Daniel's side and leaned forward to plump
his pillows. "Does Sir care to try the acid peel face mask?
Loaded with something called…" Jack read the tube. "AHA. Plus
strawberries for that extra kick." He looked up. "They have
fruit that can peel the skin off your face?"
"You're asking me?"
Jack opened the tube, sniffed
it, brightened a little, glanced at Daniel and tossed it. "No," he
announced decisively. "If it can do that to your face, god knows
what it would do to your…" He trailed off as he delved into the bag again.
Daniel decided desperate need
demanded desperate measures. After that sour grapes remark about
his sense of humour, just because he never laughed at Jack's alleged jokes,
he was willing to be mean. "There's a movie I'd like to watch tomorrow.
I think you'll enjoy it too," he added ingenuously.
Jack grunted something, still
very focused on the gift bag.
"It's about the Marines."
Jack went very still.
He slowly sat up straight and turned to face Daniel. Also slowly.
He was smouldering dangerously. "Excuse me?" he asked with exquisite
politeness.
Daniel was annoyed when a few
treacherous hormones kicked in and his penis perked right up. He
and Jack both looked. He didn't blame Jack. He was poking him
in the stomach, after all.
Jack smiled, a disastrously
engaging, charming smile. "You love when I do this stuff," he said
sweetly.
"Menace me with fruit acids?"
Jack read the packaging on the
latest free gift with purchase. "Are Swiss Botanicals fruit?"
"Swiss what?" Daniel's interest
was piqued. He sat up and tugged the tube away from Jack. "Botanicals?"
He frowned. "That's an imprecise…Jack!"
Jack tossed the tube he'd just
rudely snatched from an already annoyed linguist. Daniel admitted
Swiss Vegetable Drugs wouldn't attract quite the same customer base, but
imprecise use of language, particularly in advertising and cultural studies,
aggravated him. Nothing got him going in combat like recalling a
few choice quotations from an essay on post-modernism. "Maybe I should
phone Sam," he wondered. "She'll know about Botanicals."
Jack staged a lightning coup,
deposed the oppressive regime and banished it to the floor. Then
he grabbed Daniel's wrists and slammed him flat.
Daniel curled his lip in what
he hoped came off as sneering contempt. Jack bit it, which suggested
not. Daniel flexed his wrists questioningly and Jack amiably took
a break from smouldering and menacing to let go and just double check there
weren't any bruises that needed kissing better. Jack must have been
positively vicious, because he didn't stop kissing better until he'd reached
Daniel's shoulder. Both arms.
Jack also graciously consented
to reversing their positions so Daniel was on top, though it was instantly
apparent that this change of heart was due to the ease of accessibility
of e.g. Daniel's ass rather than any fundamental respect for Daniel's masculinity.
"I thought we were going to
get through the evening without having sex?" Daniel queried as he nibbled
Jack's collar bone, which they both quite enjoyed. "Be sensible.
Make plans."
"You thought that. I
disagreed. After mature consideration of the problem from every angle,
we went with horny and fucking like Viagraed-up Duracell bunnies every
chance we get," Jack crisply contradicted. "At your place and mine,
with emphasis on which place has the bigger bed, and in the event of a
tie, which one I live at and has that nice garden to roll around in having
lots of alfresco sticky quickie sex."
"I have a balcony," Daniel said
resentfully.
"You don't even have a plant
out there."
"I have a pot," Daniel protested.
"It's ten thous-" Jack reared up like he was spring-loaded and kissed
the shit out of Daniel. "-mmmph."
"You know," Jack observed conversationally
some time later while Daniel sprawled sleepily on his chest. He hunched
irritably. "Don't go to sleep."
"'M not," Daniel yawned cavernously.
"Mmm." He breathed Jack in, lulled by the steady heartbeat beneath
his cheek.
"You know!" Jack said again,
loudly. "Every time I look at you, I wonder why the hell you're single,
and every time you open your mouth, I know."
Daniel awoke to find Jack sprawled
face down across the bed and his face nestled in the small of Jack's back.
The moonlight streamed in through the window, bathing the room in flattering
blue-grey shadow. He gently kissed the dimples in Jack's ass before
stretching out to spoon up behind him, though he kept his hand over the
sweet curve of Jack's nape. His two favourite spots on Jack's body,
the ones he lusted after, his nape and the small of his back, hinting at
vulnerability amidst the depth of bone and powerful musculature.
Jack was a big man; tall, broad, heavy and strong.
The reality of that was so much
more than Daniel had been prepared for. He guessed that Jack was
as physically aware of him as he was of Jack. Each time they made
love he was struck anew by how easy this was…for their bodies at least.
Daniel knew what it did for him to be touched in this way, in that place…he
reached out confidently to Jack, made his hand firm here or his lips soft
there and it was easy. They made it so.
The emotions were less familiar.
It was difficult to look at his friend and feel not the familiar comfort
of Jack's warm, solid presence at his side, but a bewildering, consuming
confusion of vital, immediate desires. Love. Fear. Excitement.
Arousal. Shyness. Hesitance. Fierce joy. Protectiveness.
He needed everything this man had to give. Had to give of himself
in return.
He didn't know what they were
going to do when they got home. They couldn't be together off-world,
or on base. They couldn't spend all their time at his place, or Jack's,
or out. They couldn't be together that much and someone not notice,
not look and see. Jack spoke of court-martial, but Daniel felt that
wasn't a realistic possibility. The Air Force couldn't afford a trial
by Jack's peers. No one could know about the Stargate programme.
Maybe Jack was earning a court-martial, and Daniel respected Jack's refusal
to sugar-coat what being his lover meant, but if they were caught, the
need for absolute secrecy would mean forced retirement. It would
mean Jack having to cut a deal with the very people he fought against and
it would mean disgrace in the eyes of those Jack respected.
Daniel couldn't be touched either
way but Jack was defying everything he knew about himself and risking everything
he believed in to be with him. Jack couldn't give more than he was
giving. He couldn't give more than himself.
Daniel wasn't strong enough
to refuse the man who meant everything to him. Even if he was, he
couldn't disrespect Jack by taking his choice from him. All he could
to was try.
He leaned in and licked Jack's
shoulder, warm and sweat-dewed from the heat of the night and their bodies.
Jack sighed and stirred sleepily, rolling to drape a lazy arm around Daniel's
shoulders and draw him into a drowsy kiss. Just kissing him was enough
to get Jack hard and wanting, throwing his leg over Daniel's to draw him
close, hips pushing compulsively into him.
They had each chosen to be with
the other and all they could give was themselves.
"I want to make love," Daniel
said clearly, sure at last of what he wanted.
Jack leaned back, looking searchingly
at his face. "We agreed to wait," he offered mildly, but his body
gave the lie to the kind words, his penis twitching slick heat against
Daniel's belly.
"I was wrong, I think," Daniel
murmured quietly, lost in thought, running his hand down Jack's arm to
take his hand.
"You were right."
"I was hurt. Not any longer.
I'm - I am afraid," Daniel confessed. "This will be hard enough on
us both, having to hide right out in plain sight, among our friends, taking
the risk…I never get it right, Jack. Never," he admitted starkly.
"With Sarah, it was a mess because I couldn't, I just couldn't…I wasn't
what she needed. Didn't give…" Didn't take. Didn't lean.
Couldn't let her be the one person he turned to, the one who brought out
everything in him she believed he had to give. In the end, he'd withdrawn,
folded in on himself, only seeing his work, because she'd tried to take
what he wouldn't give and they had been about control, not love.
"And Sha'uri…"
Jack's arm curved round him
tight, hand clasping his shoulder, drawing him into a deep embrace.
"I remember those few days with
you more clearly than that year with her," Daniel whispered, impatiently
scrubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand. He so did not want
to blub all over Jack, who was looking worried and obviously didn't have
a clue what to say that. Daniel didn't blame him. He didn't
know what it meant either, only that he'd never come near the sometimes
frightening intensity of his feelings for Jack. He had been in love
with his wife, he had no doubt of that, but…he needed Jack.
Daniel Jackson had never needed
anyone except himself, not since he'd lost his parents. He'd reached
out once, to Nick, and never again. It hurt too much to need.
He'd learned that lesson and he'd learned it well.
He had survived without his
beloved wife, he had even been happy.
He thought now it was because
he had been with Jack. He was supposed to be with Jack. They
couldn't be without each other, not now. With everything there was
between them, there was no room for anyone else. It felt to him as
if their becoming lovers had always been simply a matter of time and realisation.
As if the intent, the rightness of it had been there all along, they'd
just needed to know.
Jack smoothed Daniel's hair
back from his brow, something he seemed to like to do. "What is it,
Daniel?" he asked gently, clearly concerned.
"You were right," Daniel said
softly. "And so was I. We really can't not. We have to
give this everything it takes because the alternative…"
Jack stiffened, hands tightening
on Daniel.
"Exactly." Daniel leaned in
for a kiss and Jack rolled, pulling him on top of him. They fit together
perfectly, the hard planes of their bodies complementing, skin sliding
over skin, warm satin over sleek, hard muscle. Daniel's breath caught
and he shuddered deliciously at the voracious pressure of Jack's erection
swelling against his own, the strong hands grasping his ass, pulling him
hard against Jack as he strained up, wanting…demanding.
There was only pressure on them
if they allowed it. They trusted, they loved…this was it for them.
Daniel had to let go of his fear. If he didn't, he denied Jack the
choice he'd made, to try, to change himself because he needed to, wanted
to, for his sake and for Daniel's.
"Make love to me," Daniel asked.
A wild shiver ran through Jack, shocking against Daniel's skin. "I
want you. Please, Jack. For me."
"I promised you…but not yet,
Danny. I'm not ready," Jack said urgently, cupping Daniel's head.
"I'm not."
Daniel hushed him with a finger
over his lips. "It's okay," he promised. "I am. For the
rest…I trust you, Jack. How can I not? I - I'm in love with
you," he shyly assured him. "Sorry," he whispered. "I was so
afraid to lose you…but I had to refuse. I had to walk away.
I need myself, Jack. I'm all I've had…" Gawd, could he sound any
more self-pitying? "Now I - I have you." Woo. Big improvement
there, Jackson. Self-pity and uncertainty. It had to occur
to Jack sooner or later that the reason he always said he was fine even
when he manifestly wasn't, and everyone knew he wasn't, was because he
utterly, totally, abysmally sucked at explaining why he wasn't fine.
The linguist had no words for how far from fine he was.
"Got me like a rash," Jack's
voice gusted relief.
Daniel rolled off him and made
his way over to the dresser to retrieve the tube of lubricant Jack had
hidden in his sock drawer. Out of sight and never out of mind.
He climbed back onto the bed and sat on Jack, laying the tube neatly on
his chest.
"Oh, god," Jack groaned, looking
pathetic and malleable. "You know I can't refuse you anything, least
of all that." He waved the lubricant accusingly.
"It cuts both ways," Daniel
said seriously. He couldn't refuse Jack, either. The trick
would be asking for what it wouldn’t hurt the other to give. Daniel
had made his decision. He wanted this, Jack wanted this, and for
once, please, just for once, Daniel wanted to get it right.
Actually, he wanted to get it
so right he blew Jack's mind and ruined him for anyone else, but realistically
he'd settle for getting it just right enough they were both willing to
give it another shot some day.
He flopped dramatically onto
his back. He was gone. He was there. He was doing this.
"The myopic middle-aged archaeologist is quivering, so get with the slaking,
already!" he ordered.
"You look about fourteen and
a half. Get over yourself," Jack snorted, making no active move to
slake anything.
Daniel prodded him indignantly.
Then he realised he wouldn't get very far if his, um, business end was
clamped to the sheet and rolled onto his stomach. His penis found
a fold in the comforter that felt great and he moved against it, rubbing
luxuriously.
"Don't mind me," Jack said sarcastically.
"Just start without me if I'm not moving quick enough."
Then Jack was there with him,
a gentle hand resting on his shoulder, mobile mouth warm in his hair, on
the skin of his neck, his shoulders, his spine. Jack lifted him,
and with Jack's arms around his chest came Jack's weight on his back.
"Easy," Jack whispered into
his ear as he stiffened involuntarily and felt stupid. And embarrassed.
"Is this how you want it, Daniel?"
Burning face buried in pillows?
Yes!
Another soft, understanding
kiss was pressed into Daniel's shoulder, then Jack stopped with the supportive
'I'm about to take my lover's virginity and I swear to God I am not totally
getting off on that' hug and went for it. He slid down Daniel's back,
shoved his legs apart and licked his ass. Daniel just had time to
remember that the gift of tongues was 'glossolalia' when Jack reminded
him the real gift of the tongue was that it was a muscle and you could
do stuff with muscles. He pushed his tongue into Daniel's ass.
Daniel screamed.
Like a girl.
He snatched one of Jack's pillows
and pulled it over his head because even his ears were burning, and gave
up on everything but sobbing ecstatic shock into the muffling folds of
percale and trying to remember how to breathe. He'd gone thirty-six
years without ever knowing he had nerve endings in his ass that could feel
like THAT.
Daniel trembled and writhed
desperately beneath the onslaught as Jack pushed into him softly.
Wet, limber heat thrusting inside, deeper, harder, stronger, on and on
and on. Like Jack loved eating Daniel alive, like he had all the
time in the world. Like he…he was in love and completely happy with
that and who he was with.
Daniel felt hot and cold all
over, tight and achy and tense, like his skin was too small for him.
His whole body was throbbing with each thrust of Jack's tongue inside him,
pulsing up his spine, shocking through his penis, his legs trembling as
they did when it was good. Really, really good.
He was relieved all his research
showed that he needed to be relaxed for intercourse because what with the
long, patient strokes of Jack's tongue opening him up inside and the way
he was screwing the comforter here, he would be coming before Jack got
going.
Daniel didn't want to make love
like this, drooling embarrassment in his pillows, but he hadn't wanted
to look. He…he was a little afraid of it. He wanted to feel,
and learn, and not freak Jack out if he was hurting and not be freaked
out by watching Jack fuck him. He didn't want to see Jack as he moved
inside him.
He was wrong. As usual.
Feeling was plenty bad. Uniquely bad. He could close his eyes
but he couldn't shut down his body, couldn't not feel Jack's tongue eating
his ass or the comforter he was boning rubbing him up just right.
Or rather, what he'd always thought was just right before Jack's tongue
rubbed him up way better.
Jack stopped rubbing, patted
his ass fondly, and his weight shifted.
Daniel tossed his pillow and
surged up snarling for blood. Who said Jack could stop? Just
because he owned this quivering archaeologist, and he had to know that
didn’t mean he could…Daniel looked at Jack, who was coolly and liberally
coating his forefinger with lubricant. Um, Jack obviously did know
that he owned Daniel. He knew exactly that. He was very good
about the quivering thing too, because he cuddled Daniel in close and held
him for a while, and his own hands weren't exactly steady. There
was a lot of nonsense whispered into Daniel's ear about how sweet he was,
which he took without a murmur, because his colonel heroically refrained
from referencing any screaming that may have gone on.
Jack's arm came around his neck
and Jack's mouth was on his, and they were flowing down to the bed, and
it was okay, they were close. Could be closer…Daniel hooked his leg
over Jack's back and caressed his face with nervous, shaking fingers.
They touched tongues, flickering and teasing. Jack's hand was heavy
over Daniel's hip and then there was slick cool pressure against those
sensitised nerve-endings. Jack sucked Daniel's tongue into his mouth
as his finger pushed into Daniel's ass. Daniel's body held that finger,
clenched tight against it, then went with his mind and his trust and opened
to Jack. The finger plunged deep with shocking ease as Daniel's tongue
plunged towards Jack's tonsils. They moaned simultaneously.
Daniel was doing this, he was
there and Jack was with him. He hitched his leg higher around Jack's
back, focused on the wildness of the kiss, not the patience of the preparation,
though Jack got his attention with two long, skilful fingers nudging something
that arched Daniel's back, snapping his head back in shock that anything
could feel so good, sharp pangs of pleasure flaring deep, shaking him apart.
Jack's fingers stroking pleasure out of him stole the last threads of his
composure and he clung to his friend without shame.
He went onto his back when Jack
pushed at him, aching and bereft until Jack slid between his thighs, his
knees pushing Daniel's legs further apart, urging them to lift. Jack's
fists planted themselves hard into the mattress either side of Daniel and
then he felt a hot, slippery, snub touch at his anus, pushing. Oh,
god. Pushing.
"Danny?" Jack, looking wild
around the eyes, screaming need from every pore but still asking.
"Oh, god. Oh, god.
Oh. Okay."
Jack had the sense to take what
he could get and pushed right in.
"Holeee shiiiiit!" Jack howled
as the head of his penis was grabbed and squeezed.
OwOw!OW! Talk about a
blunt instrument! OW! Daniel's body reluctantly remembered
that he trusted this man and happened to be completely in love with him,
and that he basically owned this ass and the ass in question caved categorically.
Jack slid in a fraction.
"Daniel!" Jack asked anxiously,
sweat dripping off his nose. He was shaking with the effort to hold
still. He didn't look wild any more. He looked terrified.
"Time for a strategic withdrawal," he said grimly. "I was not prepared
for this."
"Me either," Daniel blurted
before he could stop himself.
Jack was flushed with effort,
but at this he went brick red, mouth working soundlessly. The colonel
obviously had no words for how pushy and stupid the virgin was.
Daniel winced and worked out
what to do with his legs, which were just embarrassing him because he rather
thought Jack was supposed to put them over his shoulders and he, um, hadn't
liked to say. It was unkind to tell a man he was doing sex wrong
before he'd even started, something Daniel could vouch for from the earliest
days of his relationship with Sarah. She hadn't cut him much slack
for being a virgin. He hooked his legs round Jack's hips and dug
his heels encouragingly into Jack's ass.
Then he curled his hands around
Jack's arms and started to stroke him soothingly, though he was ambushed
almost immediately by how hot Jack was with his biceps bulging like this
and was almost spontaneously unfaithful to the comforter when his colonel
growled at him.
"How do you…er…how do I…feel?"
Jack asked sternly and somewhat awkwardly.
"Pressure," Daniel answered
honestly.
Jack nodded and thrust again,
the muscles in his arms and ass bunching as he powered into the smooth,
supple roll of his hips that was driving him deeper by degrees into Daniel's
body.
Pressure. God, yes.
His muscles burned and quivered against the hot, slippery skin slowly sliding
inside him inch by inch. The last thrust brought Jack's balls hot
and velvety against his ass and Jack lowered himself, the ridged muscles
of his belly rubbing against Daniel's.
Jack's mouth was tight and he
looked a little pale despite the sweat, but his fingers were gentle, wiping
away the sweat standing on Daniel's brow.
They fit together. Perfectly.
Exactly. Daniel was stretched tight and throbbing around Jack, a
little scared by the searing sense of Jack filling him. How deep
Jack was in him. How helpless he was against the power and strength
of this man his body had yielded to.
Jack kissed him then, that maddening
brush of closed lips over his, back and forth. "I'm sorry," Jack
whispered, his eyes wide and drowned with emotion. "You feel so good
and I need you so much."
Daniel wanted to tell him it
was okay, it really was, but Jack's mouth stifled the words and Jack withdrew
and stroked back into him, stroked deep and despite his best efforts, Daniel
whimpered into the kiss. Jack slid into his mouth, his tongue tenderly
covering Daniel's, curling sweetly around him in reassurance while the
supple roll of Jack's hips drove him up the bed and into Daniel.
Jack moaned helplessly, throwing
back his head as he thrust again.
Daniel was transfixed by the
slick heat slowly sliding inside him, hard, heavy and rhythmic. He
hadn't been prepared for the sensuality of that voluptuously sleek slide
of skin against his, laying him open for Jack. He lifted his legs
carefully to hook his ankles around Jack's back, wincing as his muscles
burned and gave.
In all his fantasies, Daniel
had never come close to knowing Jack. His body was melting with Jack's
gentleness, the tenderness in his eyes and in the kiss they were sharing.
Daniel cradled Jack's head to him, totally done in when Jack fumbled for
one of his hands and held it tight.
"Good?" Jack asked anxiously,
never faltering in his smooth stroking so very deep inside in Daniel's
body.
"Oh, yes, Jack, yes," Daniel
whispered.
"You know I love you."
Daniel moaned low in his throat
as Jack's thrusting found that place inside and he couldn't help it, he
rocked his hips up into the touch he felt throbbing through the whole of
his body. His erection had faded when Jack had penetrated him, but
he was erect and aching in seconds as Jack generously stroked slow, sweet,
heavy pleasure into him, compulsive, constant pressure inside and out rubbing
him exactly right. His Jack inside him and over him, his erection
grinding between his belly and Jack's.
"I love you too," Daniel sighed
as the right rhythm found them, and they flowed together. This was
right, so right. He knew Jack loved him, it was here in the way he
moved and that look on his face, like Daniel was giving him something utterly
amazing and he was losing himself in it, opening up to this as much as
Daniel was.
Jack was good at this, he was
great, he was mind blowing and he was ruining Daniel for anyone else.
Daniel didn’t mind that he'd never measure up to this, because Jack wouldn't
mind. If Daniel could show Jack what he meant to him, even a little
of what Jack was showing him right now…
Daniel felt his eyes fill and
gulped noisily. He managed a pathetically wavery smile and kissed
Jack passionately, his confidence only slightly dented by the fact Jack
had to wipe his nose for him after a minute or he would have been sucking
snot as well as Daniel's tongue. Daniel sniffed hard, Jack licked
away a few of the tears, and they fell back into the kiss.
Slow and sensuous was getting
rougher and longer and deeper, Jack was losing it, driving into him, his
breath ragged and panting into Daniel's mouth. Jack began to use
his knees to rock his hips up into Daniel to strike against his prostate,
Daniel moaning passionately as sullen pleasure ripped through his body
each time.
"Come for me, Danny, come for
me," Jack whispered. He reached between them to fiercely pump Daniel's
penis, his thrusts sharp, deep jabs hard against Daniel's prostate.
Daniel shuddered convulsively
and couldn't stop, arching up as Jack slammed into him and he erupted in
Jack's hand, his ass clenching hard around Jack inside him. "Ja-aack,"
he called.
"Ahh, Danny! DANNY!" Jack
screamed out as he came.
Daniel gasped in astonishment
as heat pumped into him, each forceful pulse and throb of Jack's penis
shaking him. He'd never felt…never even imagined the power of those spasms.
Jack collapsed on him, boneless,
sweaty and shaky. "Jesus Fucking Christ," he breathed reverently
into Daniel's throat. He rested for a moment, then planted his fists
and carefully withdrew from Daniel, which made his ass burn anew.
Jack toppled onto his side, pulling Daniel in close, rubbing his belly
lingeringly into the sticky mess that covered them both.
Daniel didn't know about the
etiquette of these things. Should he thank Jack for deflowering him
so comprehensively? Apologise for screaming, crying, dribbling snot
and not being very good at any of it?
"I can't believe what you just
gave me," Jack shook his head in wonderment. "I had no idea.
None." He kissed Daniel gently. "Acushla," he said caressingly.
"Thank you." He rested his hand low over Daniel's belly, unmistakeably
possessive. "I didn't have a fucking clue." He kissed Daniel
again. "I'll try," he promised soberly. "Believe me.
I will try."
Daniel melted against him, completely
happy for the first time in forever.
It was great to wake up in a
warm bed that seemed way too small, mostly because Jack was hogging everything
from the headboard down, including Daniel, whom he was using as a pillow.
Daniel's butt was numb, and a little sore, but other parts of him were
waking up nicely.
"Jesus, you're insatiable,"
Jack chuckled, greeting the new dawn with a long, lazy lick at Daniel's
navel. He surged up and aimed a sloppy kiss at Daniel's lips.
Daniel wound up with Jack slobbering
on his chin, but it was the thought that counted. Jack gave it another
shot and scored a touchdown.
"Mmm," Jack hummed appreciatively.
"Hey." Daniel slid his
arms beneath Jack's and clasped his hands around Jack's back, wriggling
until they were both comfortable.
"I plan to get used to this,"
Jack informed him, eyes twinkling. He hushed Daniel with a kiss as
he tried to speak, rolling away and holding his hand out to Daniel.
"Haul ass, Dr. Diction. Let's enjoy the lake while we can.
Shower now, talk later."
They showered together, washing
each other with rough, curious fingers, laughing and a little embarrassed
over the incongruity of it. Daniel lingered so long over Jack's broad
back and firm, toned ass that Jack turned to take him in his arms and kissed
him hard and they jerked each other off, fast, furious and savagely satisfying.
"No way I'm not having this,"
Jack swore as he towelled off rapidly and strode out of the bathroom to
boil the kettle for shaving.
Daniel ambled out clutching
his towel haphazardly at his hips as Jack turned back, eyeing him speculatively.
"No sex," he said clearly. "Packing."
Jack sneered.
Daniel's ass was tender, but
he dressed in the black leather pants anyway. And the teal shirt.
Might as well send Jack home with a smile. He packed what he could
and left his bag open ready for the last few things, then went out just
as Jack was finishing. They kissed, then it was Daniel's turn to
shave as Jack sauntered off to dress.
He made a pot of coffee and
set the last of the ham and eggs to fry while he shaved. Astonishingly,
he didn't burn breakfast or slice into his carotid artery and decided on
the strength of that to risk dining alfresco. He set the plates,
the pot of coffee, the last of the bread and preserves, the OJ and the
mugs on Jack's one and only tray, which featured a pike with more teeth
than the Great White in 'Jaws'.
Minnesotans tended to, um, overcompensate
in the piscine department.
The morning was clear, bright
and already pleasantly warm. Daniel sat down carefully at the end
of the dock, letting his bare feet dangle over the rippling water.
He sipped at his coffee and stared at nothing in particular until a soft
footstep behind him announced Jack. He looked up as Jack's ass gracefully
hit the dock and Jack turned to face him, resting his foot over Daniel's.
Jack reached behind to grab
his waiting mug of coffee, took a noisy gulp and dove into his ham and
eggs like he'd been starved for a week. Taken with the fact the man
reeked of smug satiation, he could not make it more obvious he got some
last night, and got it good.
Daniel ate his own breakfast,
enjoying the fresh air and the easy, companionable silence. They
needed to sort things out, but like Jack, he wanted to keep the mood as
long as he could. After the second cup of coffee, Jack's arms snaked
around him and he rested his chin on Daniel's shoulder, unwontedly serious.
"I have no intention of sitting
on my own eating my heart out when I want to be with you, Daniel.
Equally, I have no intention of making love and leaving you to sleep alone,
so we're going to be careful," Jack said gravely.
"Of course," Daniel agreed at
once. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep Jack safe.
"No rotas. No schedules.
No predictable patterns. Your place, my place, we stay in, we go
out as we please," his colonel ordered rapidly. "We screen all calls.
Get people used to it as of now. I'm buying a laptop when we get
back so we can both email. Carter thinks it's cute and if you stay
in touch that way, she won't be calling you five times a night."
Daniel tried to speak and Jack
kissed him.
"I'm not keeping my distance
at work, we go right on there just as we always have. We hang out
like we've always done. We hide right out there in plain sight, like
you said. Nothing to see, nothing to know. We keep our hands
off on the base and off-world. We take no risks, ever, because
I am not losing you or my team. I'm a selfish bastard and now I have
it all, I am goddamned keeping it," Jack promised. "Questions?"
"How long have you been thinking
about…I mean…" Daniel stared at Jack, who'd just ruthlessly threat-assessed
the shit out of their lives.
"Since we kissed."
"I walked away from you.
We fought…"
"Carter interrupted us," Jack
contradicted. "While you were grabbing me by the balls on Shreve.
I may have been bleeding cammo, Daniel, but trust me, I couldn't get it
up unless I was thinking of you." He glanced suspiciously at Daniel.
"Does that make you happy?"
"Impotence?" Of course
it does! Get a grip, Jack! "No," Daniel said soothingly, patting
Jack's knee. Whoo, momma!
"'Cause you look pretty goddamned
happy there."
"Wincing in sympathy," Daniel
answered promptly.
"Not smirking?"
Daniel shook his head vigorously.
Jack didn't seem wholly convinced.
"And the violent, silent shaking?"
"Wind."
"And then you kissed me.
Smacked me upside the head with my dirty little secret," Jack went on slowly,
staring hard at Daniel. "I figured there had to be something there,
you couldn't kiss me like that and not feel…"
Daniel made encouraging noises.
"Like…what?" Not that he wanted a performance review or anything,
but it would be nice to know…he thought it was a great kiss for his first
time. Second. The first kiss was just embarrassing. He
could kiss his hand better than he'd managed to kiss Jack. First
time obviously didn't count. A little compare and contrast would…
"I had it all planned," Jack
went on loudly, ignoring the way Daniel's face fell. "I was going
to seduce you and have it all. Have it all my way," he admitted ruefully.
"I'm a dumb fuck."
"You're a terrific fuck," Daniel
corrected absently, brooding darkly over just how desperate Jack was if
he'd taken Daniel on despite the guy thing and being an apparently lousy
kisser.
Jack leaned back and stared
at him, his mouth falling open. "I have no idea what to say to that,"
he said weakly.
"Thank you?" Daniel suggested
meanly. Then he felt guilty as an annoyingly sharp pang of conscience
struck. He sighed and confessed the terrible truth. "I was
never stoned. I had one sip of that poison and threw the rest on
the aspidistras. I never meant to kiss you, Jack, I swear," he assured
him earnestly. "You were just…"
"Such a fuck?"
"Exactly!" Daniel said gratefully.
"Thank you," Jack choked, deeply
moved. "You're like, THE worst liar I ever met. If I hadn't
been gallantly covering for you in front of Carter, I'd have told you straight.
You were just so sweet I couldn't bring myself to…well, you know how you
are," he sighed. "I tried to give you a graceful out next day, but
you went with playing hard to get so I…"
"I what?" Daniel snapped, outraged,
wondering how he was. "I was trying to give you a graceful out, you
shit!" He rather ruined the effect of this rigorous rebuke by returning
Jack's passionate kiss with marked enthusiasm. "Hard to get?" he
sniffed disparagingly, caressing Jack's thigh.
"I had to hide in the men's
room. Laughed myself sick over that amnesia thing," Jack informed
him heartlessly. "Only you could get away with a line like that.
Lucky even Fraiser and the general get all gooey and sentimental when you
make with the baby blues, and no one wanted to make it worse for you than
it already was."
Daniel thawed slightly.
He did have good friends.
"Everyone knows you have a drink
problem," Jack added callously. "I made a lot of assumptions, most
of them wrong," he added hurriedly as Daniel's tender mood evaporated and
he pointedly removed his hand from Jack's thigh. "I swear, I did
think you were sober when you kissed me. I…er…freaked," he admitted
self-consciously.
Daniel made supportive noises,
still wondering how he was and how he could get Jack to tell him.
Jack took fresh heart and plunged
on, even though he was desperately embarrassed. "It was bad enough
I couldn't jerk off unless I was thinking about you without having to deal
with the possibility of jerking off WITH you. I kind of figured…if
you were gay…" He looked uneasily at Daniel. "It didn't matter if…I…er…wasn't,"
he added feebly, looking miserable, and at anything but Daniel.
"The whole 'both the guys are
gay if they're fucking like bunnies' thing must have come as a terrible
shock," Daniel said kindly, patting Jack's knee in commiseration.
"Are you laughing at me?" Jack
asked suspiciously.
"Oh, yes."
Jack looked quite deflated.
"Gay, straight, bi? Just
labels, Jack. What does it matter? It is what it is," Daniel
reminded him gently, smiling a little.
"I get that NOW," Jack complained
like it was Daniel's fault. "After last night," he added, looking
almost shy.
Jack? Shy?
"That went deep," Jack said
dreamily.
Daniel blushed to the roots
of his hair.
"You went deep," Jack amended,
chuckling. He took Daniel's hand. "Like Sara did."
They sat a while, looking out at the lake. "We kissed, we made love,
and nothing will ever be the same again. Especially me. That's
what this is, Daniel. I love you. And you're stuck with me,"
he added malevolently.
"Despite how I am?" Daniel asked
involuntarily.
"Yeah. I try to work around
you being…" Jack shrugged easily. "You." He took advantage
of Daniel thinking about this harsh indictment to drape his arms round
him and generally molest him.
"Me being me…what?" Daniel prompted.
"You."
"What?" Daniel asked blankly.
"You know what you're like."
Daniel looked at Jack for a
long time. A certain glint in his colonel's eye suggested the impotence
debate was fresh in his mind and the nearest archaeologist was going to
pay. "What I'm like?" he asked interestedly.
Jack went very still and found
something absolutely fascinating in the depths of the lake. "How
did it feel?" he asked suddenly.
"What?"
"When I was…" Jack seemed at
a loss for words. "You know. Inside you," he asked, looking
painfully embarrassed.
"Good," Daniel muttered, going
as red as Jack and looking just as hard at the lake. He did rest
his toes over Jack's though.
"I didn't hurt you? You're
not sore, or…anything?"
"A little," Daniel admitted.
"Sore?"
"Both."
Jack's face tightened.
"I hoped…"
"Look, you told me you weren't
ready for me to make love to you and it's fine," Daniel told him soothingly,
hitching his butt a little closer to lean into him. "I didn't cave,
Jack. I just realised that you were making a choice already, a choice
that was harder for you than for me, and you couldn't undo a lifetime of
social conditioning in a day. You asked for the time you need, and
I'm happy to give it. You put your trust in me just by being with
me. I couldn't do any less for you."
"You're sure?"
"Yes." Daniel smiled affectionately.
"Yes, I am."
"How was I?" Jack cringed.
"I mean…"
"I…um…get what you mean.
I felt you…your skin moving," Daniel explained awkwardly. "I-inside.
I didn't expect…I didn't know what the hell to expect," he confessed.
"I didn't know I would feel so much, so strongly, or feel it everywhere.
The sensations…I had no idea how good it would feel."
Jack was listening intently,
weighing every word, deep in thought.
"Were you ever attracted to
another man?" Daniel asked gently.
Jack looked at him sharply,
as if he would refuse to answer, but then his face softened. "I don't
think so," he answered at last. "How would I know? I'm Air
Force. You get tight with your buddies…" He trailed off into
another silence, looking away from Daniel. "It's just…you," he said
simply. "You're the only guy I've looked at and wanted."
Consciously wanted, Daniel guessed.
It wasn't that different for him. He just accepted instead of judging.
"Really wanted," Jack sighed.
"It got so I couldn't even think straight." He glared when Daniel
chuckled. "Baring my soul here," he said reproachfully, lips quirking.
"I'd rather you bared your ass,"
Daniel retorted mischievously, remembering an earlier conversation.
"You may be the most annoying
man who ever lived, but despite my better judgement I'm in, I'm with you,"
Jack announced, trying and failing to scowl at him. "I love you.
I just…don't know what to do with that. I've got to take control
out of it," he snapped, frustrated. "I don't know what the hell I'm
doing, and my instinct…you know what I'm like. I've slapped you down
hard enough."
"And what happens when you do?"
Jack snorted, reluctantly amused.
"You could try kissing my ass instead of kicking it," he complained.
"Never happen," Daniel replied
with calm certainty. "Not in the line of duty, anyway." He
reached down to stroke Jack's ass, grinning when Jack shifted irritably.
He got off on the attention, they both knew he did. "And if it doesn't
happen in the field, why would this be any different? Let me ask
you something. If I'd told you to stop, would you have stopped?"
Jack shot him a shocked look;
all the answer he needed.
"What if I told you to go slower
or deeper or harder?"
"You're trying to tell me the
guy on the bottom has all the control. I think I've grasped that
now, thanks," Jack said dryly.
"I'm trying to tell you we both
had trust. When it came down to it, Jack, I understood that was all
I needed." Daniel smiled and stretched up to kiss Jack gently on
the mouth.
"I trust you," Jack insisted.
"But…not…this," he said haltingly.
"I don't feel any different,"
Daniel promised, realising at last what Jack was having so much difficulty
asking him. The answer was no. He didn't feel any less of a
man. "It was good to be so close to you."
"Good?" Jack nodded, some of
his tension relaxing.
"Intimate physically as well
as emotionally. I want to be that close again, and I want you to
understand it, Jack."
"I'm trying." Jack rubbed
his cheek against Daniel's, then took his face between his hands and looked
into his eyes. "I'm not ready, Daniel, but I'm…open, and I do trust
you," he said gravely.
It sounded like a promise to
Daniel. He didn't need any more than this; equality, respect, choices
shared and accepted. He didn't need any more than Jack, and now he
had him, he was keeping him.
"Whatever it takes," Jack sighed,
unconsciously echoing Daniel's own thoughts.
Maybe they were both confused,
stumbling through making it up - and fucking it up - as they went along,
but they were also committed. More than anything, they were seeing
clear, and they did trust.
"I promise."
FINIS
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