Brushing his hand gently across the cover of the journal, Jack O'Neill gazed blindly out through the window. The clatter of the carpenters' tools barely penetrated his bemusement.

...I feel so out of sync with everything. The other faculty members resent me; the students can't figure out why they're stuck in my class. And there's that constant toothache in my knee, just brightening every day...

... Forward, Daniel. You have to think forward. The past can't be retrieved. No matter how much you might... Damn it! Think forward...

... Why can't I make this life seem real? I feel like a bad actor in an inept play. Nothing really seems to matter...

... I hate this thing! Hate it! Sometimes I just want to throw it away, and stand up and run run run! Then I take an incautious step, and reality slams into my gut. Well, actually into my knee...

Damn. Daniel had obviously been so unhappy. And there had also been...

... I could call. Wonder what they're doing? Did Sam finish her bike? Has Teal'c figured out Gilligan's Island yet? Does Jack... [line scratched out] The general would tell me; I could call. I know the number. It's right there trembling on the tips of my fingers. But if I call... If I call, it'll just bring it all back down on my head. [two empty lines, then small, unsteady letters] ... I'm so lonely...

The telltale blisters betrayed the tears he'd shed over the page. Damn.

"...Jack?"

He heard the hesitant fear in the soft call. Guiltily returning the journal to the drawer in the end table beside the couch, he hurried back to the bedroom, sparing a quick glance for the two men busily repairing the damage he'd done to Daniel's door.

Daniel was half sitting, leaning on his left elbow, anxious eyes fixed on the door. Jack caught his breath at the sight of him, the curves of his body brushed with the late morning sun.

"Jack?"

"Right here..." He moved quickly to the bed, sinking down to sit facing the other man. "Just supervising the repairs." His hands were irresistibly drawn to cradle Daniel's stubbled cheeks.

"Repairs?"

"Mmmm." The response was smothered as he leaned in to taste Daniel's lips. Two tender kisses and a brief scratchy nuzzle, and he sat back again, drinking in the smile he'd brought to that lush mouth.

"The door?"

"Ah... yeah. Figured I broke it, I'd better see about getting it put back together again. Afraid the latch and lock are pretty well shot."

"It wasn't even locked!"

"Yeah, well... I was a bit... firm."

Oh, he loved those giggles. Just really needed to express his appreciation.

Another few intimate moments later, they pulled slowly apart, eyes still hazily engaged, bodies warm with the heat of gentle arousal.

Jack sighed, regretfully stroking Daniel's cheek. "Much as I wish we could explore where this might go, Carter and Teal'c are expecting to meet us for lunch."

Daniel turned to stare blindly into the sunlight. He caught his lower lip between his teeth, then heaved a deep sigh. Turning back to gaze into Jack's face, he brought a finger up to slide gently across the other man's lower lip.

"I thought you'd gone."

"Yeah, so I figured. No way, Danny. No way. I've run and run from you; hurt you so much. No more. Time to stop tearing things apart and start building."

"Building..." Somber blue eyes searched deeply into determined brown. "I'd like that."

"I'm working hard on making up for lost time, here. Time for another deposit..." Leaning forward, he placed another tender kiss on a willing mouth.

Ah, another of those dimpled smiles. Hell of a receipt.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor beside their impromptu banquet table, Sam toyed with the last crust of her sandwich, gazing around the cluttered room. This had been a good idea-scrounging a meal at Daniel's rather than braving another too-public gathering. Scrambling together the makings of sandwiches, sorting out glasses and beverages, counting forks and plates-mundane actions that had quickly leached away the stiff caution with which they'd been treating each other.

This place spoke so strongly of its occupant. She would have known it was Daniel's home the second she walked through the door. It was buried beneath a clutter of esoteric objects-presumably authentic, rare artifacts juxtaposed with modern mementos; pictures of Egyptian sites and natives; and books. Thousands of books, stacked, piled, jumbled on shelves, ledges and tables. All reflections of the spirit of the man.

Taking a deep breath, Sam let her eyes shift to meet the gaze of the dear friend sitting across the food-strewn coffee table.

As the four had satisfied the pangs of hunger, the awkward discomfort had gradually reasserted itself. Time for some honesty. Long past time for some honesty.

"Daniel..." Damn. This was hard.

His mouth pursed, he looked down for a moment. When his sad blue eyes lifted to again meet hers, his chin had firmed with determination. "Sam... Sam, why did you leave? I thought..." a momentary quiver, resolutely brought under control. "I thought you were... You couldn't... Did I disgust you that much?" The anguish in his voice broke her heart.

"Oh, no! No, Daniel!" Scrambling to her feet, she moved around the table to sit beside him. She grabbed his hand, urging him to turn to face her, to see the earnest truth in her face. "I... Oh, God, Daniel. You... They... They were going to take me. You let them..."

He jerked his hand away and lurched to his feet. "I... Sam, I c... couldn't let them..."

She caught his hand again, tugging him back down. "I know, Daniel. I know. Being... you... there was no way you could ever let something like that happen to anyone-not if you could stop it. But... Oh, God, I felt so guilty. I'd look at you, so... so destroyed, and I'd think, 'It should have been me! Should have been me.' It ran around and around in my head, until I couldn't think about anything else. When my dad asked me to help the Tok'ra, I grabbed it like a life preserver. I'm so ashamed... I just left you to deal all by yourself."

"I thought... You couldn't even bear to look at me."

"Guilt, Daniel. Not disgust; never ever disgust." She leaned forward and kissed his pale cheek, then wrapped her arms around him. After a moment's hesitation, she felt him mirror the action, arms tightening almost painfully around her body.

"I missed you." The whisper barely reached her ears.

After a long moment of mutual comfort, they separated, grinning damply at each other, sniffing in concert. With a watery little laugh, she gave him another quick hug, kissed his other cheek, and let him go.

"So... We good?"

"We're good."

"Daniel Jackson, I, too, wish to tender my deepest apology for leaving the SGC while you were injured."

"Ah, Teal'c, that was kind of an emergency. Why should you need to apologize?"

The big man stood, lifting his chin and gazing over Daniel's head. The stiff parade-rest body attitude revealed how deeply troubled he was.

"My motives for leaving Earth were not purely based upon the need to attend my son. I felt... I feel that I failed you deeply."

"Teal'c... How did you fail me?" Daniel's voice was gentle. "How could you possibly have stopped what happened?" As he spoke, his gaze shifted to meet Sam's, then the colonel's. She realized that, though he was speaking to Teal'c, he was offering absolution to all of them.

Teal'c's proud head dropped, his eyes closed briefly. "How can one say how a different course of action would proceed? Had I acted more quickly upon hearing the natives' approach; had I resisted them more aggressively; had I freed myself more quickly..."

Awkwardly, Daniel stood and moved to stand beside the Jaffa.

"Teal'c, you're just a man. Pretty much a hell of a man, it's true, but in the end, just a man. You're not Superman; you can't lift tall buildings and leap from planet to planet in a single bound."

Teal'c's eyebrow rose quizzically. "In fact, with the aid of the Stargate, I can."

Daniel laughed softly. "Okay, I'll concede you that. But..."

Hand on Teal'c's shoulder, he turned to face the other two.

"Please. Please can we leave this behind? We all did and said things that we regret. But can we please let them die an unlamented death? Something t...terrible happened to me, but none of you could have done anything to prevent it. I... I really want..."

"Daniel..."

"Jack, don't you start! Building, remember? Time to leave the bad stuff in the past, where it belongs. You said you were ready, so let's build. I've missed you all-so much; more than I can possibly explain. I don't want this... horror hanging over us for the rest of our lives. Please." He sank back onto the couch. "Time to move on."

The colonel's mouth slowly stretched into a grin. "I'm in." His arms spread outward, encompassing all of them. "We move ahead. We think forward."

A weight she hadn't consciously recognized lifted from Sam's heart. It was never going to be that easy, but...

"If you can, I can try." She grinned sheepishly at Daniel. "Just don't be surprised if I have trouble resisting the urge to throw my body down over any mud puddles you might need to walk across."

Sam considered that wide smile a personal triumph.

"F'r chrissakes, Carter. I never suspected this penchant you have for the..." flourish of a hand, "...Grand Gesture."

"Sorry, Sir. Out of uniform only. Promise."

"Besides, any mud puddle throwing activity I reserve to myself."

"Jack!" Daniel's smile had graduated to convulsions of honest-to-God giggles. "Sam! Please. I can... I'm sure I can manage to survive walking through my own mud puddles."

"Such measures are not efficient, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c's face assumed its grimmest intensity. "Should the need arise, I will be glad to lift you over any puddles of mud or other detritus which you encounter."

Daniel succumbed, tumbling over on the couch, shaking with laughter.

The colonel stared suspiciously at Teal'c, eyes narrowed.

"Okay, Teal'c. Confess. You've been spending your spare time with Feretti, haven't you?"

A little howl emerged from the cushions of the couch. And the corners of Teal'c's mouth curved smugly upward.

The ninety-minute drive back to the Mountain was largely silent. Carter drowsed in the back seat, and any clues to Teal'c's thoughts were smothered by the darkness.

Jack himself felt an odd mixture of giddy triumph and depressed disappointment. Daniel-he had Daniel back. But not really-not all the way back. He should have been sitting in that back seat, shoulder providing a pillow for Carter's drooping head.

Damnit, he should have been more persuasive. Daniel didn't belong tucked away in some hyper-secret training facility. He was made to fill a larger space in cosmic destiny. And he was supposed to pursue that destiny side by side with Jack O'Neill. Damnit!

Their afternoon had been a joy. They'd paid a brief visit to Daniel's physical therapist, who had taken one good look at a hot and swollen knee, applied ice and heat, delivered some stern instructions, and cancelled the scheduled session. Then they'd pulled the jeep into a little jewel of a park, commandeered a couple of shady benches, and talked. Just talked about meaningless nothings and basked in the pleasure of being together again, largely back in sync with each other. Daniel had entertained them with "stupid student" stories; students were apparently pretty much the same at a top secret military training facility as they were at any university in the country, other than the added behavioral quirks imposed by military conditioning. Some of which actually increased the silliness of their actions. Jack had contributed his own "stupid trainees" stories, culled from the various periods in his life when he'd reluctantly agreed to instruct. Experiences and incidents which had previously simply been annoying or irritating suddenly assumed an aura of hilarity when shared with an appreciative audience. Sam had delighted Daniel with lab gossip, much of which had been meaningless to Jack. Teal'c had surprised the two officers by conveying a fond message from Adair Heidepriem, who had apparently gotten wind of their expedition to the Academy and cornered the Jaffa with the intent of imprinting her wishes on his brain. His high opinion of the abrasive archaeologist was obvious. He had committed to memory an impressive list of ongoing linguistic and cultural projects which Heidepriem evidently figured would serve as irresistible lures for a disenfranchised Daniel Jackson.

But Jack hadn't been so happy with the farewell scene. As the shadows had stretched over the tiny park, they'd drifted back to the jeep. That was the first time he'd asked the question.

Full dusk had fallen by the time Jack guided the jeep to the curb outside Daniel's little house.

"So, Daniel. You coming back with us?"

Silence.

"Jack..."

"Come on, Daniel. It's obvious that we're going to be able to fix all of this. You should be back at the Mountain; back in your place at the SGC."

"Daniel." The insecure plea in Carter's voice fell strangely on his ears, so unlike her usual forthright manner. "We need you back."

"I can't." There was an odd tension in his voice. "How can I come back? I can't even walk without those crutches. You want me to come back so I can sit behind a desk while you go through the Gate with someone else? I... I couldn't stand that."

"But you'll get better. You're already getting better." She was definitely wheedling.

"C'mon, Daniel. You know you're dying of boredom, just teaching those brain dead airmen day after day. You know you miss us, and you miss the excitement, and the terrific bits of junk we bring back through the Gate for you to play with. You know you want to come back..."

The silence was electric. Daniel sat staring straight ahead, hands fisted. In the strange, stark illumination of the brightening streetlights, his face was leached of all color.

"Danny..."

"Jack! I can't, okay?" His breathing was harsh; O'Neill could see the fine tremors beginning to course through his body. "I can't even think about going through the goddamned Gate without starting to shake! It won't matter if I get better! It wouldn't matter if I could outrun Teal'c. I just can't face going through that Gate again."

Damn. Damn damn. So, a lot more damage than even he'd figured.

The fraught silence hung for another moment; this wasn't going to help anything.

"Okay, Daniel." He made his voice as gentle as he could. "It's okay. There's gonna be plenty of time to work at this. C'mon. I'll come in with you."

A quick glance into the back seat kept Carter and Teal'c from offering to accompany them. Once Daniel was extricated, and poised on his crutches, he finally met their eyes, his own hesitant and apologetic. Carter shifted her legs underneath her, and pushed herself up onto her knees, reaching out to give him an awkward hug.

"We can come back, right?"

A smile broke through the tension in his face. "Oh, yeah. You can come every day if you want."

"I do not believe this will be possible, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel laughed a bit. "I know. I was just... well..."

"Making sure we knew we were welcome?"

He grinned down at her, and nodded. Balancing on his good leg and one crutch, he reached across her to grip Teal'c's offered hand.

"I'm so glad you came; so sorry I ran away without letting you know where I was. Guess I needed some pouting time."

"We know what you needed, Daniel. We're just really sorry you had to find it by yourself."

She gave him another quick hug, then slithered back down into the seat.

"C'mon, Dr. Jackson. Let's get you inside. We've got a long drive ahead."

Daniel was suddenly shy. "Ummm... You don't have to escort me, Jack. I can take care of myself."

Jack lowered his voice, speaking just for Daniel's ears. "Oh, I know that. It's just that the good bye I have planned isn't something for anybody else to see..."

Daniel pivoted around to look at him. Wide eyes searched his face; a soft mouth curved upward. "Ah, I see. Do come in, Colonel O'Neill."

As they passed through the doorway, Jack eased the newly repaired door closed, then leaned back on it. He knew his face was wearing a goofy, triumphant smile. A very effective one, it seemed. Daniel, lower lip caught between his teeth, stared at him for a moment, then moved close and leaned forward to offer a soft kiss.

Jack let his hands drift to Daniel's waist, then slide around to his back. He pulled the other man's body close, deepening the kiss, then breaking away to nibble along a smooth jaw.

He had to ask again. "Danny... Come back with us. With me. We can build so much better together than apart."

Daniel buried his face in Jack's neck. "Can't, Jack. Please... please don't ruin this. I just can't."

Jack sighed, tightening his hold, lips nuzzling their way back to Daniel's mouth.

"Okay. Okay, for now. How often are you going to let me come see you?"

"You heard..." A lick along Jack's own jaw, a nibble on his earlobe. "Every day. Mmmmm... Twice a day."

"God, I wish. I'll come every time I can wangle two days in a row, OK? I haven't forgotten that we're building, here. We need lots of time for that."

Daniel settled his head on Jack's shoulder. "...lots of time."

"Right. Tons and tons of time..."

Long, intimate moments later, they eased apart, panting and hazy. Daniel dropped his head back onto Jack's shoulder.

"Damn. I gotta drive back to the Mountain. You are definitely not good for my concentration."

"You could let Sam drive."

"Not my jeep!"

Daniel laughed softly into Jack's neck. Then he straightened, shifting the bulk of his weight back onto the crutches, and stepped back. The happiness on his face darkened.

"Jack... You do know that the Gate isn't the only thing I'm having trouble with, right?"

O'Neill lifted an eyebrow at him.

"I love you, Jack. I want you. But..." He looked away briefly, then moved close again. Balancing on one crutch, he reached for Jack's hand, tugging it close, then pressing it against his own groin. His soft, unresponsive penis didn't even twitch.

Jack pulled his hand gently away, then cupped Daniel's anxious face between his palms.

"Time, Danny. We've got all the time we need. And if all we ever do is cuddle and kiss... Well, I'll try to be content with that. But I don't think we're going to have to make do. You'll find it again. And I plan to dedicate myself zealously to helping you with the search."

He kissed, licked that luxurious lower lip, then kissed again. Satisfaction warmed him as he felt Daniel's mouth curve into a smile.

Sighing, Jack finally let the other man go.

"Damn... I really do have to go. Much longer, and Teal'c will come charging in here to rout whatever it is that's holding us captive. Just one more thing..."

Daniel tilted his head in query, lip once again caught between his teeth, brows arching above the frames of his glasses.

Jack grinned, brushed the backs of his fingers tenderly over Daniel's cheek, then leaned forward to whisper.

"I love you, Daniel Jackson."

As the jeep rolled to a stop outside Carter's town house, he turned to wake her, once again struck by the wrongness of her head tilted uncomfortably due to the lack of a proper shoulder to pillow it.

No, this battle was far from fought. Given time and perseverance, water could grind a mountain to dust.

Daniel leaned against the door, one hand spread to gather the last vestiges of warmth from the wood. Jack's warmth; Jack's body against his door.

His thoughts were tumultuous. Incandescent joy at what had been given back to him formed a pulsing mass in his throat. It felt like his chest was going to explode from sheer happiness.

But that joy wasn't without cost. The hard-fought peace and safety of his life was quivering around him. Sam, Teal'c and Jack-oh, Jack!-threatened that safety.

Could he go back? Could he abandon the comfort and peace?

Not yet. Maybe not ever.

But there was Jack. Having miraculously been granted the most hopeless, desperate wish in his heart, he couldn't possibly bear to give it up.

But he just couldn't go back.

"Incoming traveler!"

Hammond strode into the control room, unconsciously blocking the racket of the claxon from his mind.

"Identification?''

"Not yet, Sir. Wait! It's SG-1."

"Hmmm. They're a few minutes early. Better notify Fraiser."

The kawhoosh of the activated Gate smothered the technician's acknowledgement. For a moment, nothing. Then Carter strode briskly through the Gate, hurried down the ramp, and positioned herself in the corner of the Gateroom, adjacent to one of the entries. She was followed immediately by Teal'c, who copied her unusual behavior almost precisely. As the two fixed their gazes on the still active Gate, Hammond was struck by their odd expressions-expectation, concern and, he could swear, amusement.

After a few moments, a third figure emerged from the Gate. It had to be Thompson, because it certainly wasn't O'Neill. But there was nothing recognizable about the archaeologist other than the obviously feminine shape of her body. She was entirely engulfed by what appeared to be grey-brown mud. Entirely.

Hammond gradually became aware of the odd behavior of the guards in the Gate room. They were recoiling, backing away, with hands and arms lifted to cover their lower faces. Teal'c's arm rose to point firmly, authoritatively at the corner of the room most distant from the position he and Carter had assumed.

A very cowed mud person crept into the indicated position.

Finally, the fourth member of the team stepped calmly through the event horizon and, just as calmly, joined Teal'c and Carter in their corner.

Curiouser and curiouser. Briskly, Hammond strode to the stairway down to the Gate level. As he moved past O'Neill to enter the room, he was nearly overwhelmed by an amazingly repulsive odor. A familiar odor. Skunk. The biggest, smelliest skunk he'd ever had the misfortune to annoy.

"What the...!"

"Little alien encounter, Sir." O'Neill's voice was deliberately bland, but Hammond could see the faintly malicious gleam in his eyes.

"Encounter?"

Carter's ingenuous expression didn't impress him. "We were surprised by a large creature, Sir. Very large. Fortunately, it turned out to be harmless, but it was as frightened by us as we were by it. Dr. Thompson tried to approach it."

"It... regurgitated upon Doctor Thompson." Teal'c was better at concealing his amusement, but Hammond wasn't fooled.

"Think you're going to have to get the Gate room decontaminated, Sir. Oh, and maybe fumigated." Still bland.

"And I don't suppose any of you thought it might be wise-not to mention kind-to allow Dr. Thompson to bathe before you dragged her back through the Gate?"

"Figured we should get her back as soon as possible, General." The insincere concern dripped off O'Neill's voice. "I think maybe a few high powered hoses might be the best next step. Just a suggestion, Sir."

Snapping his outraged mouth shut, Hammond delivered the order to the nearest guard. It was, of course, the only real option at this point. He could hardly allow Thompson to dribble alien vomit through the halls of the SGC. And, also of course, Hazmat precautions were now a necessity.

Then there was SG-1. Their resistance to anyone being assigned to fill Dr. Jackson's place was turning out to be a major problem. They didn't defy him, they obeyed orders, they scrupulously carried out their duties. But passive rebellion could be more effective and disruptive than outright defiance. And they were as passively rebellious as hell. Damn.

Jack slid through the door as quietly as he could manage, easing into a seat in the uppermost row.

The scene was oddly archaic; an old fashioned banked lecture hall, high, dusty windows casting bright sunlight over the backs of the heads of students scattered through the seats, and onto the enthusiastic speaker at the base of the well.

Jack's smile grew as he watched Daniel describing the intricacies of the Egyptian writing systems he loved so much. He doubted anyone else in the room got it, but knowing Daniel so well gave the lecture an entirely different sense. This showed him how thoroughly the Daniel he cherished was still there, undimmed by the anguish of the last few months.

As the students, finally released, made their ways up the aisles to the doors, Jack stood, stretched, and moved lazily down toward the podium. Daniel was engaged in a discussion with a couple of young women, apparently unaware that their interest didn't have much connection to ancient languages.

'Dream on, sweeties,' he gloated. 'Taken. Engaged. Snarfed. Permanently off the auction block.'

"Jack!"

He was smugly pleased to see those blue eyes light up as Daniel spotted his visitor.

The two young women turned to glare. He grinned at them, then gripped Daniel's shoulder in greeting.

"Hey, Daniel. Nice to know that Egyptian stuff hasn't changed."

"As if you'd know if it had. Ah... Lieutenants Arrons and Miers, Colonel O'Neill."

They delivered the expected salutes, then reluctantly departed, casting final glances at their handsome teacher as the double doors swept closed behind them.

"God, Danny. Slaying them in the aisles!"

"Jack... They're my students."

"Oh, yeah? Someone should remind them." With a laugh, Jack collected the ragged stack of books and papers from the table beside the podium and tilted his head toward the door behind Daniel, brow lifted in query.

Daniel added a carousel of slides to the top of the stack, secured his grip on his crutches, then moved to open the door into the tiny preparation room behind the lecture hall.

As the door closed, isolating them in the small, dim room, Jack dropped his burden on a convenient counter, slid his arms around Daniel's waist, and nibbled on his ear.

"Jack!" The laughter accompanying the protest suggested a significant degree of insincerity.

"Mmmmm." Carefully turning the body in his arms, he delivered his first deposit of the day, full on that hyperactive mouth.

"So, Danny. How about I take you out to dinner?"

Jack had selected the restaurant before driving to the Academy. It was the most up-scale eating establishment he could find. He figured Daniel deserved some high quality wooing.

The meal had been terrific, their conversation light, happy and meaningless. Now, over coffee and some magnificent sort of dessert chocolate, Daniel's expression was warning him that things were about to get serious.

The blue gaze was fixed on the surface of his coffee, watching the reflections shift as he stirred. His mouth had turned pensive, pouting slightly as he thought deep thoughts.

Finally, Daniel lifted his head, locking his eyes with Jack's. His voice was very soft, very private.

"Jack..." He paused, biting his lip. "Jack, that first night we... Why did you..."

Color touching his cheeks, he let his voice trail away. He lifted the cup and took a sip of the still too-hot coffee.

"Why did I pat you on the butt and run, leaving you naked on the floor?"

Daniel gasped and choked, face blooming pink.

"Ah... Y... yeah. I guess that's what I was trying to ask."

Jack favored him with a quick grin. "Sorry. Guess I could have expressed myself a bit more... obliquely."

Daniel's eyebrows arched. "Obliquely? Just what have you been reading, Jack?"

"Hey! No insults, Dr. Know-It-All! I know words. I know lots of words."

Daniel's sweet, indulgent smile threatened to distract him from a path he knew they needed to follow. Jack let his answering smile fade. Dropping his gaze to study the folds of his napkin, he forced himself to drag the conversation back on track.

"I've had way, way too much time to spend trying to figure out the answer to that question, Daniel. You know me-I'm not much for thinking. It took me a while to sort of understand what was going on in my head."

"Jack... You don't have to... We could wait; talk about this later, somewhere more private."

"Ah..., no. I think maybe this is a good time and place. We need to keep this kind of quiet and unemotional, you know? After I manage to get out what I need to say, then we can go to your place and do the yelling and screaming part."

He took a deep breath. He could do this-owed it to Daniel to explain. But he really did hate this talking stuff.

"Okay, let's start with this. You weren't the first guy I did that sort of thing with."

Daniel's mouth flexed in one of his quirky little grins. "I'd figured that out. Good thing, since my notions about what I wanted were all pretty vague."

"Yeah? Seems to me you did more than all right, Danny. Way more than all right."

This earned him a shy smile.

"Well, I was pretty motivated."

"Oh, yeah. I really love the way you concentrate, Daniel. Anyway. I'd had an odd assortment of encounters with guys ever since I was a teenager-you know, locker room stuff, that sort of thing."

"You did that stuff in the locker room?"

Jack grinned and tapped his finger against his lips. "Shhh. Quiet and unemotional, remember? And no, not really in the locker room, sort of as a consequence, okay? But the thing is, there was never anything involved other than horseplay and kind of scratching an itch, you see? For the other stuff-the stuff that wasn't just physical, it was always girls."

"So, men were for fun; women were for serious?"

"Yup. Boring and conventional, but that's pretty much the way it was. Y'know, what really screwed me up was what you said later-that thing about my whole problem being my own masculinity. I really hated that; made me mad enough to... well, we know what it made me mad enough to do. But as soon as I made myself really start to think about things, I knew you were pretty much right on target. I guess I think a lot more traditionally than I thought."

Daniel looked away. "So, when you came to my place that night, you really did just want a good time; you weren't after..."

"Daniel." Jack reached across and gripped Daniel's arm. "Danny, what I'm trying to say here is that I hadn't even thought about what it was I was after. Just knew that you made me hotter than hell, and that you were putting out signals that made me think you'd be willing."

An astonished gaze bored into him. "Signals? What signals? I thought I was keeping everything so secret!"

"Well, seeing as how I was beginning to look pretty hard for signs you were available, it's not too surprising I picked up on things. Relax, Daniel. It's not like you were obvious or anything. I don't think even Carter and Teal'c suspect anything."

Daniel still looked unconvinced, but Jack pushed on. Couldn't allow what was essentially in insignificant side issue to give him the excuse not to say what he needed Daniel to hear.

"What we shared that night... I'd never, ever had that kind of experience, Daniel. Never. With women, you don't have that sort of equal partner thing; with men, it was always kind of rough-what did you say? A wrestling match, with some interesting perks. But I don't think about things, Danny. Never think first; just go with habit and feelings. When you tried to get snuggly with me-tried to kiss and cuddle-it set off all kinds of alarm bells in my head. Bells that I just didn't want to deal with. So I sandbagged you. Distracted you so much that, at least for a while, you wouldn't notice the things I wasn't giving you. Then, when you actually said the 'L' word... Well, from that moment, you can consider me to have been on the run. Running right over the top of you, trying to get out that door and back to my notion of my normal place in the world as fast as I could manage. Didn't even know what I was doing, not then, not the next day when you tried to explain why you didn't want to repeat the night's 'entertainment.'"

Daniel's eyes were directed downward again, fixed on the cup he held between his tense hands.

"The 'L' word... That's the problem, right?"

"Oh, Daniel. You concentrate really well, but sometimes you don't listen worth a damn. That Jack-the man who didn't think about stuff like this-he wanted nothing to do with putting the notions of 'sex with a man' and 'love' in the same thought. He's pretty much gone. This Jack has done so much thinking about this his brain is starting to leak out every time he blows his nose. And this Jack is so okay with this idea it makes him want to do really stupid stuff. Like dancing in the rain with an umbrella and an ugly cop. Like leaning out fourth story windows and yelling. Like sending out announcements to every person he knows. This Jack has an agenda. He's going to make sure that his Daniel gets at least one kiss in every day they are together; he's going to make damn sure that his Daniel knows that, not only is he perfectly happy with the 'L' word, he's pretty delirious with the 'A' word as well."

Daniel's eyes were perfectly round. So was his mouth.

"Ah... Th...the 'A' word?"

Jack leaned as close as he could across the table, and whispered, "Adore, Daniel. I adore you."

Daniel's eyes snapped shut; he gulped visibly. "Uhhh... ummmm..."

Jack leaned back and signaled to the server.

"Time to get private, Dr. Jackson."

The atmosphere in the jeep was charged. Jack could almost hear Daniel panting as he fought to control himself; he was acutely aware of the tight excitement of his own groin. Once the car was parked, he swept Daniel out of the vehicle and up the path to the house without, he thought, ever letting his feet touch the ground.

They were in each other's arms the moment the door closed behind them. Kissing, nipping, stroking. Hands managed to remove articles of clothing, flinging them blindly away. Feet shuffled, seemingly without conscious guidance, into the bedroom.

Jack gradually became aware of a potentially serious problem. They'd made it to the bed, were stretched out side by side, shirts gone, pants unfastened and lowered, briefs lowered-and firmly impeded by the footwear still stubbornly clinging to their feet.

Actually, Daniel had managed to shed one shoe, but Jack's boots were going to require a focused effort. Groaning with frustration, he gave Daniel one more fierce kiss, then sat up to deal with the problem. Okay! Boots gone! Britches and briefs gone! He turned to gently remove Daniel's remaining shoe, and cautiously peeled away the Velcro holding the knee brace in position. Then he carefully slid the slacks and briefs over his feet, and turned his attention to the elastic bandage supporting the knee. Finally, finally, he sat back and gazed down at his nude lover. His flushed, slightly sweaty, panting-and completely unaroused lover.

Oh, Daniel.

He looked up to meet Daniel's gaze, and saw the tears washing those eyes. Tears Daniel was refusing to let fall.

"Jack..." Daniel reached for him.

Jack moved up beside him and took him into his arms, nuzzling through the long, tousled silk of his hair.

"I can't! Oh, Jack. I want you. You make me feel wonderful-hot and mindless. But it just doesn't work!"

"You mean, you haven't... since 423?"

Daniel's head shook back and forth against his shoulder. "Didn't want to until now. I haven't felt like... trying anything. Now I want to... I want to! But nothing happens!"

"You feel good, right?"

"Oh, yeah. You make me feel wonderful."

"Okay, so we'll just take things slowly-see if we can wake up the machinery."

A damp giggle vibrated against his shoulder. "You make me sound like some of Sam's high tech equipment."

"Yes, indeed. Very high tech; very, very rare and valuable. But I don't think I'm going to be calling Carter in for a consultation. We have all the brainpower we need right here. So, let's try debugging procedure Number One, shall we?"

He kissed a laughing mouth, then began to lick and nibble his way down Daniel's body, pausing to pamper a couple of sensitive nipples along the way.

Finally, he took Daniel's flaccid penis in his stroking hand, looked up into blue eyes dazed with passion, and bent to kiss and suckle. Daniel's small cry went straight to his heart.

"Danny... Daniel!" Jack gently shook the sleeping man's shoulder.

"Whuuh mmmnnf. Mmm?"

Jack laughed softly. Some things never changed.

"Daniel? C'mon, wake up, big guy."

Drowsy blue eyes finally fluttered open, gazing groggily up at him. Jack grinned, then leaned in to snatch a kiss.

"You are such a morning slug, Dr. Jackson."

"Mmmmf." Sniffing nose. "Coffee?"

"Right here." Jack waved the fragrant mug just out of the other man's reach. "But you gotta get reasonably vertical before I let you have it."

Daniel struggled to sit up, then squinted at the large-number display of his bedside clock.

"Jack! It's 5:30 am!"

Jack transferred the mug's handle into Daniel's morning-clumsy hand.

"Yup. Sorry about this, but I've got a noon briefing. I sort of cheated-didn't really have two days in a row off. But I was starting to pine; couldn't have Fraiser start looking at me funny as I gradually faded away, could I?"

Daniel looked up at him, then set the mug down on the bedside table and reached out for a proper hug. Very willing, Jack folded the other man in his arms and met his mouth eagerly.

"Can't have you pining," Daniel murmured against his lips. He kissed again. "But you'd better miss me."

Jack laughed, cautiously nuzzled a bristly cheek, and sat back up. "No problem there. C'mon-if you get up, we can go to breakfast before I have to head back to the Mountain."

Jack helped him into the bathroom, then was gently but firmly excluded. He returned to his own mug of coffee, listening to the sounds of normal morning activities.

The night before had been both delicious and disappointing. Daniel had never achieved any kind of erection, though despite moments of frustration, he certainly seemed to have enjoyed himself none-the-less. And he'd brought Jack to mindless heights of ecstasy. He was a very talented lover, and an extremely quick learner.

Jack smiled to himself. He'd never before considered the advantages of having a genius for a lover. "Quick study" didn't even begin to cover it.

A muffled call brought his head up.

"Jack? Long as you're here, I could really use some help with my shoes."

"Your wish, etc., oh gracious sir."

He shared Daniel's laughter as he knelt and dealt with the shoes. Then, looking up into a happy face, he asked The Question.

"Danny-come back with me?"

The smile vanished; the eyes diverted from his.

"No."

"Please?"

"I can't, Jack. I can't."

Jack stood and pulled the other man to his feet.

"Okay. But I'm not going to stop asking."

Troubled eyes met his. Daniel leaned in to kiss once more.

"Let's go to breakfast, Jack."

Daniel sat in his office, contemplating his folded hands and thinking about the last fifteen or so hours.

Happy. He'd been happy nearly every minute he was with Jack. Even through the insecurities raised by Jack's confessions; even in those moments when he knew he wasn't going to be able to perform sexually.

And to hear Jack pronounce those words of love...

But he just couldn't go back; couldn't look into all those knowing faces; couldn't sit and wait while Jack and the others risked their lives. Mostly, just couldn't face living in the shadow of that Gate.

Gradually, he became aware of the shaking of his tightly clenched hands. Deliberately, he fought to still their tremors. When they were behaving themselves at last, he swiveled his chair and reached for the conveniently placed coffee pot. Time to get on with the life he'd chosen.

"Incoming Traveler! It's SG-1, Sir."

"Right on time for once."

Hammond was embarrassed to realize he was holding his breath. Archaeologist number two. Surely this one would work out. He'd chosen the young man carefully; he was courageous, clever, but quiet. Specially selected to pass under O'Neill's strafe radar.

This time they came through two by two-Carter and D'Angelo, then O'Neill and Teal'c. Hammond met them at the base of the ramp. All four were covered with dust and bits of rock. Their faces and hands bore small scratches and bruises.

D'Angelo wouldn't meet his eyes. Just stood sort of hunched and still.

"Colonel?" Hammond addressed O'Neill as the colonel stepped past his two subordinates and off the ramp.

O'Neill's brows rose, and he pivoted deliberately around to stare at D'Angelo. The youngster met his eyes, face frozen into that characteristic deer-in-the-headlights expression. His head began to shake back and forth, back and forth.

"I... I... They...." He gulped. "N-n-n-not m-my f-f-f-fault!"

"Of course it wasn't your fault, Dr. D'Angelo," O'Neill soothed, sounding like a man comforting a naughty, slightly stupid puppy.

"N... n... Urgh!" D'Angelo abruptly burst into tears and ran from the Gate room.

O'Neill turned back to the General, one brow raised. "He touched. Bad boy."

"He touched. Just what did he touch, Colonel O'Neill?"

"Damned if I know. Don't think he's really cut out for field work, though."

With a vaguely smug smile, he strolled toward the door and the showers, followed closely by his loyal accomplices.

"C'mon, Danny. You can push harder than that." Low grunts, panting breaths.

O'Neill braced the bare foot in his hand, providing resistance as Daniel sweated over his exercises. That had been one of his best ideas-tagging along and getting clued in to the PT Daniel performed every day. Daniel welcomed the occasional opportunity to complete the regimen at home, rather than going to his therapist. And it gave Jack terrific opportunities to handle his favorite body in all kinds of new ways.

"Ow! Jack... You're worse than Terry!"

"Put some effort into it, Daniel. You want to get rid of that brace or not?"

He was favored with a fierce glare, and renewed grunting and pushing.

"Yeah! That's my boy."

"...Not...your...boy, you bully!" And a final, energetic shove tipped Jack over onto his back.

"Hey!" Laughing, he rolled over and grabbed his gloating partner, wrapping his arms around the supine body and putting his fingers to good use.

"Jack!" Bubbling laughter and writhing on the mat. "Jack! Quit!"

"Oh, no way, you sneaky archaeologist. Bully! Bully, am I? I'll show you bully!"

His tormenting fingers burrowed under the waist of Daniel's sweats, heading for the exquisitely sensitive skin just above the creases at the tops of those long legs.

"Jack! Nononono!" Shrieking laughter.

Jack rolled over on top of the wriggling body, fingers merciless. His hands roved over Daniel's flat tummy, teasing the edges of his groin. With a small heave, he rolled them both onto their sides, gaining access to that smooth, muscular back. Mercilessly, he ran the fingernails of his right hand down the valley of Daniel's spine, barely touching the skin. Daniel heaved and whooped, breathless with hilarity.

"Woo hoo! Still champion!" Jack crowed.

His hand slipped from spine to underarm. His second hand snuck to that hyper-sensitive spot just under Daniel's ribcage, tormenting enthusiastically. His victim's helpless laughter rang through the small living room. Then those wriggling fingers crept around hips and onto the smooth, round buttocks.

"NO!" The body in his arms convulsed fiercely; the cries no longer held laughter-only mindless terror. Daniel's delirious twisting abruptly mutated into a desperate attempt to free himself.

Jack lurched to his knees, hands flying to grip Daniel's shoulders.

"Daniel! Danny! It's me-me! You're okay, you're fine."

"Nonononononono...!" Daniel's face was crumpled, eyes crunched shut, tears running back into his hair. He was shaking violently rolling back and forth, fighting against Jack's hands.

Jack slid his arms around the quaking body, pulling Daniel close, rocking and crooning.

"Jack! Ja... nonono... no..." His voice was fading, struggles slowing.

"Here, Danny. I'm right here. Right here." He continued to rock and soothe; gradually Daniel's hysteria eased, his shaking calmed. Eventually, he turned his head to bury his face in Jack's shoulder.

"...jack..."

"Right here." Loosening his grasp, Jack gently pushed Daniel away, looking into stunned blue eyes.

"So what was that all about?"

"Uh... I... I guess we found a... a hot spot."

"Ya think? I'm sorry, Daniel. I didn't even think..."

Daniel laughed, a bitter edge to the sound. "Neither did I. Uh... Somehow, I... No one has... I... H... how many more little surprises do you suppose I've got buried in my whacked out psyche?"

"Daniel... You're not crazy. You've never been crazy; just kind of... of..."

"Stressed? I don't think we can blame this on a little stress, Jack."

"So, you're just temporarily a bit whacked. So you don't like to have your butt touched. I can deal with that."

Daniel slumped, head drooping. "Can you? For how long? You might as well have started a relationship with a... a... defective eunuch."

Jack couldn't contain the convulsive burst of laughter. "Oh, God, Danny. You're one hell of a specimen of a eunuch!"

"Jack... this isn't funny!" Indignation brought Daniel's chin up.

"Oh, yeah?" Jack continued to laugh. "... eunuch... Oh, God!"

"Jack!" Daniel launched himself furiously at the other man. Jack caught him, fending off the mock-angry blows, still laughing. He wrapped his arms around Daniel's body, rolled him over, and latched onto his pouting mouth.

Daniel heaved beneath him, still putting up a token fight. Jack simply tightened his hold and began to make creative use of his tongue.

A few moments of sulky resistance, then capitulation. Hands roved beneath sweaty T-shirts, up over slick chests. Kiss broken long enough to shed the shirts, then re-engaged with tender concentration. Hands, again, sneaking under string tied waistbands; pushing fleecy fabric down over hips. Finally, naked bodies pushed as close together as possible, rubbing, sliding.

Oh, God, Danny. Oh, God.

Jack gradually noticed that his ass was remarkably cold. In fact, there was definitely a breeze dedicated to refrigerating his backside.

Ah, but his front was wonderfully warm. He breathed in the warm, earthy scent of his favorite archaeologist, then slitted his eyes open. They shot the rest of the way open as he realized that he and his archaeologist were sacked out, in the altogether, on an exercise mat in the middle of Daniel's tiny living room. And that morning sun was slanting through the curtained windows, gilding a lovely rump which he currently wasn't allowed to touch. Rats. And that the apparent breeze across his butt was, in fact, exactly that. The draft that snuck in under the front door.

Holy shit. It'd been a long time since he'd been wiped out enough to pass out on the living room floor.

"Hey, Danny." His voice sounded scratchy. He grinned as he recalled a bit of yelling the night before.

Daniel wriggled slightly beneath him, snuggling closer.

"G' t' sleep, J'k."

"Did that, Danny. Rise and shine; I think you're about to be late to class. Ow!" Daniel's head shot up so rapidly that he whacked Jack in the jaw.

"Ow! Oh, damn. Damn. What time is it? I'll never make it!"

Rubbing his jaw and chuckling, Jack heaved them both to their feet.

"Allow me to introduce you to the advantages of conserving shower water and time."

"Jack, if you're thinking what I'm sure you're thinking, that's definitely not going to get me to work on time!"

"You're no fun. C'mon; if I help, you'll make it."

He took a moment to again appreciate Daniel's backside as he hurried to the bathroom. Not only was it a very enjoyable aspect, but the increased ease of movement was most obvious from this vantage. He really was improving; he'd be able to ditch the crutches soon, and the brace wouldn't be that far behind. Yeah.

"Here you go, Dr. Jackson. Time to spare."

Daniel gathered up his belongings as Jack strolled around to the passenger side to help with the still-involved extrication process.

As he stabilized on his feet and wrestled his shoulder bag into position, Daniel looked up at Jack with a blinding smile.

"Thanks for coming, Jack. Any idea when...?"

"Nope. Next time the General gives me a coupla days. I'll call before I come, if I can."

Daniel grinned. "I don't know... I kind of like the surprise."

Jack took a deep breath. "Daniel..."

Daniel's brows arched in question.

"Umm... Daniel, have you, you know... talked to anyone? A therapist?"

Blue eyes shifted away; Daniel's mouth pursed in mild annoyance. "Promised I would."

"So... did you?"

"Yes, for what it's worth." He brought his gaze back to meet Jack's. "Jack... It's just pointless. They don't know anything. They sit there and expect you to spill your guts... about stuff I can hardly talk to you about. I hate it. And they just sit there, faces like... like... custard pies! I just hate it."

Their very public situation kept Jack's expression of commiseration restrained; he reached over and gripped the other man's shoulder strongly. "I know, but... They're supposed to be able to help with stuff like last night."

Daniel's voice was just loud enough for Jack to hear. "Jack, I didn't know I had that particular problem until last night. And if I had, the last thing I would have wanted to do was discuss it with some stupid MacKenzie cousin. I'm not turning my butt over to a shrink. I can just imagine what kind of therapy they'd suggest!"

Grinning, Jack squeezed the shoulder under his hand. "Well, I can certainly see why you might be reluctant."

Daniel smiled back. "I'd a hell of a lot rather work on this with you than with a brainless therapist, anyway."

"Oh, I'm ever so up for that," Jack smirked, enjoying the rosy hue that swept over Daniel's cheeks at the double entendre.

Then he let the smile fade from his lips, Time for another shot. "Daniel... Come back with me?"

The happiness faded from Daniel's face; his gaze dropped to Jack's chest. "No. You saw... I'm still so far from all right, Jack. I just can't go back."

"You're better every time I see you, Daniel. And the things that are still a problem... well, they'd get better a lot faster with me to help full time. Please don't give up on yourself, okay? And I'm not going to stop asking."

A sweet smile rewarded him. "I feel less like giving up every time you visit. Keep asking, Jack."

Heaving the bag higher on his shoulder, he turned and walked toward his office.

Daniel rubbed his fingers firmly into his temples. Were they always this dense? There were days when he wished he could take a zat gun to his entire classroom of recalcitrant students. Surely entering the armed services didn't automatically mean losing any sense of intellectual adventure? No... obviously not. There was always Sam.

Leaning back in his chair, he let his mind wander back to his last two days with Jack. A smile teased at his lips. He'd begun to meter his life by those visits. The days between were just what he had to do to fill the time before the next time he could be with Jack.

The smile faded as he thought about The Question. Jack always asked. Always just before their time together ended. And he always answered the same way.

But his conviction was fading. As his knee began to function more like a working part of his body, as Jack's attentions rediscovered the passion that used to exemplify the way he approached life-he was waking up. Beginning to want more than safety and peace.

But there was still that shaking terror whenever he let himself think about stepping through the Stargate. Could he ever do that again? And could he possibly return to the SGC if he wasn't able to go through the Gate?

Not ready. Still not ready.

"Offworld activation!"

Hammond furrowed his brows as he noted the influx of personnel, not-so-casually eyeing the activating Gate. He felt his teeth grate together as he moved down the stairs to the Gate room.

So, who was the sacrificial lamb this time? Ah... Arthurs. Six and a half feet tall, craggy, crude. Should give O'Neill a run for his money. Maybe a bit of physical intimidation would do the trick.

The Gate exploded into life, settled a moment, then spit out SG-1, one after the other. Carter. Teal'c. O'Neill. And...?

O'Neill turned at the top of the ramp, yelling, "Arthurs! Move your butt!" as if he believed the other man could hear him through the wormhole.

Finally, the fourth member of the team lurched through the interface. Hammond felt the collective held breath of the unusually large number of observers as they all leaned forward a few inches, intent on the action on the ramp.

Arthurs staggered to a stop at the top of the ramp. His shaggy black hair was plastered down with sweat and what looked like blood; his oversized frame was shaking violently. Blood streaked his once-immaculate uniform, though none of it apparently his. From the base of the ramp, Hammond looked up into a face suffused with terror.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Little encounter with a couple of Jaffa who objected to us leaving, Sir. Nothing too hairy."

"And Dr. Arthurs?"

"Ah, well. He was kinda underneath. I thought these guys were told something about Goa'uld and Jaffa, and stuff like that."

Shaking his head, muttering uncomplimentary commentary, he led the way out of the Gate room, Teal'c and Carter, smiling serenely, on his heels.

As the final chevron of the incoming wormhole locked into place, Hammond turned a stern eye on the crowd in the control room. Surely not all these people had business here?

Few eyes met his; most managed to look relatively busy.

Grunting in annoyance, he stepped up to the transparent observation window. And held his breath. What would it be this trip?

They stepped through all together, but the tall, thin woman between Carter and Teal'c didn't wait for the others to accompany her down the ramp. And she'd been talking even as she'd emerged from the wormhole. Yelling, actually. At the top of her lungs.

Hammond caught part of it.

"...stupid, arrogant dictator! Goddamned moron... fatbrained Hitler...!"

There was a lot more; Hammond could only gawk, mouth hanging open, as the woman stalked out the Gate room door, haranguing all within range. Her voice echoed long after she'd passed out of range of the Gate room.

Hammond turned back to SG-1, still standing, relaxed, at the top of the ramp. Leaning forward, he addressed the microphone.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Ah... 'Fraid we didn't get along, Sir."

With a falsely apologetic smile, he once again led his faithful little army off toward the showers. Hammond prayed that Dr. Apostolopolous would have finished before they got there. He really didn't like cleaning SGC blood out of the locker room floors.

Gripping the float firmly, Daniel kicked his way across the pool, trying to keep his eye out for dangerous predators under the surface of the water.

"Yow!" Toes! No tickling in the pool! "Jack, you bastard!"

Jack's laughing face emerged from the pool, water plastering his hair flat, running in rivulets down his cheeks.

Daniel abandoned the board to go on the attack, wrapping his arms diagonally around Jack's neck and chest, rolling him over into the water.

Jack spluttered to the surface, laughing and choking.

"Shit, Daniel. When did you get so damned strong?"

"You should try supporting yourself with your arms for a few months." The water convulsed as Jack attempted to free himself. "No, you don't!"

Changing tactics, Jack threw himself backward, tipping them both back under the water.

Detached, they popped out, laughing so hard they had trouble treading water.

"Tickling a man who's doing his laps is totally dirty pool, you shark."

"Yeah! Shark!" Jack lunged at him, snapping his teeth. Daniel, still half incapacitated by laughter, grabbed him and shoved his head under the water, submersing himself at the same time. They reemerged splashing and dowsing each other, noisily and with very little noticeable skill.

"Hey, you two!" Terry, Daniel's therapist, stood at the side of the pool, laughing. "O'Neill, I thought you were supposed to be doing my job?"

"Boring!" Jack returned to his favorite weapons-tickling fingers.

Daniel was gasping with hilarity. "Jack! Enough, enough! I give!"

"You better believe it." Jack grabbed him and dunked.

Hair still wet, they walked together out of the shower room. They were still fighting the tendency to erupt into little giggling fits.

"Hang on a second, Danny. I need to have a word with Terry-be right back."

"I can't come along?"

Jack grinned affectionately at the patented Jackson Pout. "Not this time, little boy. I'll just be a second."

Leaving Daniel standing impatiently by the glass exit, he ducked back into the little office occupied by the therapist.

"Hey, Terry. Just wanted to really make sure."

"Make sure? What's the problem, Jack?"

"No problem, if you give me the answer I want to hear. You said he didn't need the hardware any more, right?"

"Yup."

"For good? No backsliding expected?"

"Not unless he does something really stupid, and I can't see that happening. So yes-he can get rid of the crutches and brace."

"Sweet! Thanks, Terry." With a jubilant wave, he trotted back to Daniel.

"C'mon, Dannyboy. We've got a special trip to make this afternoon."

Daniel's eyebrows arched. "Oh? Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. Don't flap your jaws, Daniel; just get your rear into the jeep and wait and see."

Of course, Daniel had probably never kept his mouth shut and waited for a surprise in his adult life. Jack figured maybe it was because he'd never had much in the way of happy surprises as a kid. He spent the entire drive pestering Jack. By the time the jeep pulled into a parking lot high in the Rockies, he was into full pout mode.

Jack turned and looked at him, feeling his own face soften into an affectionate smile.

"Okay, Daniel. Time for your surprise. Out of the jeep."

Still pouting, Daniel did as he was told. Jack went to the back and pulled out the implements he'd tossed in before they'd left Daniel's house.

"Jack? Why did you bring those things?" Daniel's distaste for the crutches and brace was clear.

"We've got ourselves a little ritual to take care of here. You'd probably call it a rite of passage."

Holding the sticks of metal in one hand, he slipped his other arm around Daniel's waist and led him up the gently climbing trail from the parking area. He'd picked this place out weeks ago. Fifteen minutes later, they stood at the top of an apparently bottomless cliff.

Eyeing the cliff edge uneasily, Daniel clutched Jack's jacket tightly.

"Uh... Jack, what are we doing up here?"

Jack dropped the metal sticks on the ground at their feet, grasped Daniel's arms and turned the other man to face him. Gently, he leaned forward and kissed him.

"Time to cut some tethers, Daniel."

He released Daniel, then reached down for one of the crutches. Holding Daniel's eyes for another long second, he moved to the edge of the abyss. Then, with a shout, he turned and threw the crutch over the edge.

"Jack!" Daniel's stunned face and gaping mouth were irresistible. Jack had to kiss him again.

"Get rid of them, Daniel. You let them sit in the closet, and they'll be right beyond the edge of your sight every day of your life. Throw them away." He moved back to the cliff edge.