MUCH ABIDES BY DARCY & SAMI-J

Chapter 7 
 

Sara wiped her eyes again and stretched out her hand to throw the tissue into the trash can.  She changed her mind and stuck it in her pocket.  She had to get a grip.  Charlie would be home from practice any minute and Jack and Daniel would be right behind him. 

She gave a last, loud sniff.  There.  She was done. 

It hurt.  Dear God, it hurt every time she thought of her father being gone.  She could no longer pick up the telephone and hear his voice.  She couldn't invite him over for dinner, or to watch one of Charlie's practices, or to ask for his help when the boxes of junk in the garage became overwhelming and Jack was too busy at the base to clean it up.  She couldn't swing by his house, her home for the first twenty-one years of her life, just to chat with him for a few minutes. 

Sara's eyes burned with more hot tears.  She swiped at them with the tissue, only to realize the tissue was dissolving in her hand. 

The front door burst open in time with Charlie's, “I'm home, Mom, and it's not six o'clock yet.” 

Damn! 

She turned quickly to the sink and splashed water on her face, but she wasn't quick enough.  Even as she backed away and reached for the kitchen towel, Charlie entered.  Sara gave him a quick apologetic smile before hastily running the towel over her face.  When she lowered it, Charlie was standing frozen in the doorway, his brown eyes wide. 

“Mom?” 

“It's all right, honey,” she said softly.  “I was just feeling sad.” 

“About... Grandpa?” 

Sara had known Jack O'Neill for nineteen years and she had loved him for more than fifteen of those years.  He was one of the finest men she'd ever known, but at this moment she was furious with her husband for teaching their son that men - and by extension, boys - did not shed tears.  She knew Jack had never meant for Charlie to learn this oh-so-wrong lesson.  Nonetheless, by his own example, he had taught Charlie that men didn't cry.   

If Charlie had been able to see his father cry - even once - Sara was sure she would be able to get through to the boy and help him understand that there were occasions when tears were not only acceptable but necessary.  But he had never seen Jack cry.  Neither had Sara, not in all the years she had known him. 

She had tried to talk to Jack about it a number of times without success.  This was one of several touchy areas her husband didn't like to discuss and, on more than one occasion, her persistence had led to an argument. 

Right now, as she gazed at her little boy who stared back at her, his eyes filled with tears of grief and loss he would not shed, Sara resolved to bring up the subject with Jack again.  If it made him angry, too damn bad for him. 

Seeing her son's pain caused Sara's eyes to fill with tears again.  She quickly crossed the kitchen and took him in her arms in deliberate defiance of his usual I'm-too-big-for-hugging attitude.  For a moment, Sara felt his arms tight around her, then he was trying to pull free.  Reluctantly she released him and watched as he backed away a few steps. 

“Yes,” she said gently, “about Grandpa.  It's okay to feel sad that he died.  You know that, right?” 

“Um...” Charlie swallowed and glanced away, “yeah.”  He peeked at her out of the corner of his eye, his anxiety painfully obvious.  “Are you, uh, are you okay?” 

Sara sighed, knowing where this conversation was heading.  Charlie had learned from the best.  “Yes, honey, I'm okay.” 

“Good.  I... I'm gonna just, uh...” he gestured behind him, “put my stuff away.” 

“All right,” she said, giving him her best smile. 

As Charlie left the kitchen and headed for the stairs, Sara's smile slipped away.  Sometime tonight, as soon as she had the chance, she was going to lay out a few hard facts for her husband and he was damn well going to act on them if she had to smack them into his head with a frying pan. 

It was a terrible thing that Charlie couldn't cry over his grandpa's death.  It was just as terrible that he felt the need to shield her from his grief. It was obvious he was trying to do just that.  Another page taken from his father's book. 

Charlie was a little boy who should not be holding in his own grief in an effort to ease hers.  If he didn't feel he could open up to her, Sara would insist Jack make himself available for their son.  She didn't care how uncomfortable her husband was talking about feelings.  Charlie needed his parents to act like parents and she intended to make sure her son's needs were met. 

She heard the front door open again and then Daniel's voice. 

“... but he's a grown up.” 

“Doesn't matter,” her husband responded.  “He's still flat-out jealous of you, kiddo.”  Then, without missing a beat, Jack called out, “Sara, are you here?” 

Pausing long enough to wipe her face again with the towel, Sara tossed it under the table and walked out of the kitchen. 

“I'm here, Jack.” 

“Hey!”  He approached, grinning, but as he came closer his expression changed.  

Before he had a chance to say anything, Sara gave him a quick hug.  In that moment when her mouth was near his ear, she whispered, 

“We need to talk.” 

Jack drew back to get a better look at her.  Sara wasn't certain what he saw in her eyes but his mouth twisted slightly. 

“After we eat?” he said, sotto voice.  

She nodded, holding his gaze for another moment, before turning to Daniel. 

“Hi, Daniel,” she greeted.   

“Hi,” he said, his blue eyes studying her with an intensity that made her feel he was seeing more than a ten-year-old should. 

“You hungry?” 

“Um...” he hesitated and Sara's concern rose, but before she could say anything, Jack interrupted. 

“We're starved,” he said loudly.  “Where's Charlie?  He's probably starved, too.” 

Sara set her suspicions aside for the moment.  “He just got home from practice.” 

Jack glanced at his watch and his eyebrows rose.  “They ran late again, huh?  Guess the coach was running them through some extra drills.  He oughta be starved after all that.” 

“I haven't had time to make dinner,” Sara admitted. 

Her husband shrugged.  “No problem.  That's what take-out is for.  I'll order - ” 

“How about Chinese?” she interrupted, remembering that was one of Daniel's favorites, something they rarely had in the O'Neill home. 

Jack stared at her.  “Chinese?” 

“I am not eating pizza,” Sara said firmly.  “Or Mexican.” 

“But - ” 

“Those are the only things you ever think of ordering but there are a lot of other choices out there, Jack O'Neill. Ling Lings is great for Chinese.” 

Sara didn't mean for the edge to creep into her voice, but several nights of little sleep, grief over losing her father, worry for her son and concern for Daniel, had finally caught up with her.  She winced at the sharpness of her tone but it was too late to take it back. 

Jack blinked at her in surprise, but before she had a chance to say anything more, his eyes softened and he was looking at her with such tender understanding that Sara couldn't stand it.  She fled up the stairs. 

It took Jack awhile to organize dinner.  He finally found a menu and called in the order. He had the boys set the table and while they were working, he studied Charlie carefully to see if could pick up any hints on what had been going on with Sara. He couldn't get a read on it but his son was definitely subdued.  

Mike had only been gone a short time and Jack understood it would take much longer for Charlie and Sara to move beyond their grief and sense of loss. Still, it bothered him to see his son so quiet, so obviously hurting.  Sara, too. As difficult as it was to swallow his own grief, Jack was determined not to add to their sorrow. 

Being quiet was nothing new for Daniel so Jack wasn't sure if he needed to be concerned for him, too.  It was bad luck the kid had joined their family a few days before Mike died.  He'd barely had a chance to taste their usual normal crazy routine before their lives had been turned upside-down.  At least Daniel hadn't had a chance to get to know the man.  The kid was already packing more bad stuff on those slim shoulders than most adults Jack knew. At least they hadn't added to that weight. 

When the Chinese food arrived, Jack went upstairs to tell Sara.  He found her sniffling and wiping her eyes.  Sitting down on the bed beside her, he put an arm around her but she shrugged it off. 

Uh-oh. 

“Dinner's here,” he said mildly. 

“I'm not hungry,” she answered, the edge in her voice still evident. 

Jack hesitated.  Was this because of Mike or was something else going on?  Had he done something?  Quickly he ran through the possibilities but nothing seemed to fit.  He was pretty sure he hadn't overlooked any important dates.  There were no birthdays in May and their anniversary wasn't for a couple of months. Sara had cancelled all social engagements for the next several weeks because of Mike's death. 

No, he decided.  This was about Mike, and she wasn't ready to talk about it. 

“Okay,” he said slowly.  “I'll put some in the fridge for you.” 

Sara nodded without looking at him.  “Thank you.  You'd better go back down.  The boys must be hungry.” 

Jack rose to leave, feeling useless. When it came to talking about personal stuff, emotions and that kind of crap... well, he wasn't very good at it.  Most of the time, with his work, it didn't matter.  At home, with Sara and Charlie, it did matter and he wished he was better at it. 

Back downstairs, he found Daniel and Charlie in their usual spots at the dinner table.  Charlie looked up with anxious eyes. 

“Where's Mom?” 

“She's tired,” Jack said.  “She'll eat later.” 

Apart from the secrecy required by his work in the military, Jack tried to be honest with his son.  Tonight, he wasn't prepared to say anything more, especially since he wasn't certain what to say. 

They ate mostly in silence, which was odd.  The dinner table was normally a place where the O'Neills caught up with each other's activities, celebrating daily triumphs and commiserating over daily sorrows.  

Things had been quieter since Mike's death, and tonight they were even more subdued because of Sara's absence.  She was the one who insisted on everyone being together at dinner time, regardless of how hectic the day may have been.  She wasn't here tonight, and Jack felt her absence.  It was obvious Charlie did, too.  Daniel, he still didn't have a handle on. 

After they finished eating, Jack sent the boys to their respective rooms to do their homework while he cleaned up, a simple process that required throwing away a few empty cartons and putting knives, forks and glasses in the dishwasher.  Done with that, he took a deep breath, exhaled, and headed upstairs.   

When he walked into their bedroom, there was no sign of Sara.  He glanced at the bathroom but the door was open and the light was off. 

“Honey?” 

“In here.” 

He turned around and saw her, just inside their walk-in closet, kneeling on the floor.  Concern caught him by the throat before he recognized what she was doing.  There was a large pile of clothes on the floor that she was folding and dividing it into smaller piles.   

It was so reminiscent of how he'd found her in her father's house, after the paramedics had taken Mike's body away, that for a minute, he couldn't speak.   

“What are you doing?” He cleared his throat and went over to her.  

Sara didn't look up from her work.  “I've been wanting to clean this closet out for ages.  I'm going to take some of our old clothes over to Goodwill.” 

“Good idea,” Jack acknowledged, relaxing a bit. 

He knew what was going on; he'd seen it before.  One of Sara's ways of dealing with grief was to keep busy.  He understood it.  Hell, it was one of his favorite ways, too.  But it only worked up to a point. 

“Can I help?” Jack knelt down beside his wife and put an arm around her.   

A small laugh escaped her and when she finally looked up at him, he was relieved to see that her eyes were clear. 

“No, you can't.  You always grab the oldest, most raggedy pieces of clothes and claim they're your favorites and you can't bear to part with anything.” 

Ah, a joke.  Good.  Then Jack frowned.  Maybe it wasn't a joke.  “I don't do that.” 

“Oh, yes you do.  I can handle this myself, thank you very much.” 

As much as Jack would have liked to maintain this light-hearted banter, he knew they needed to talk. He sucked at this emotional crap but for Sara's sake, he had to try.   

Taking a deep breath, he forged ahead. “The boys and I missed you at dinner.” 

“I know,” she said softly. “I'm sorry.” Sara's busy hands stilled and her head dropped. 

“Damn it - I mean, you've got nothing to be sorry for, honey,” Jack answered, hugging her. 

“I'm not handling it very well,” she said against his chest, her voice beginning to sound a little shaky.  

Jack closed his eyes, resting his chin lightly on her head.  His eyes burned and he blinked hard, glad she wasn't looking at him.   

“You're handling it fine.  Give yourself a break.  You just lost your dad.  It's going to take time, you know that.” 

He felt her head nod against him but she didn't speak.  For awhile they sat on the floor of the closet, surrounded by piles of clothes, holding each other while they grieved.  Jack didn't know how much time passed before Sara pulled back to meet his gaze. 

“You have to talk to Charlie,” she said softly.  “Tonight.” 

“Why?  What's wrong?” 

“He won't cry.  You've taught him too well.” 

Jack sat back on his heels, rocked to the core.  His mouth opened and closed and realized he probably resembled a gaping fish.  His wife met his disbelieving stare, her own expression sad but firm. 

“What?  I didn't... I wouldn't... what are you talking about?” 

Sara sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, as unselfconscious as a young child.   

“You taught him by example,” she said quietly.  “In all the years I've known you, Jack, I've never seen you cry.  Not once.  Neither has Charlie.  Now he's grieving over losing his Grandpa but he hasn't cried.  Not once.” 

Seeing the truth in his wife's sad gaze, Jack bit back his denial. His initial shock gave way to remorse and guilt. 

“It's just... that's how I was raised.  I never meant to... I never meant for Charlie to pick up on it.” 

“I know.”  She gently stroked his cheek.  “But he has.  And now you need to talk to him.” 

Oh, hell.  As much as he hated the idea, Sara was right.  There had been too many times in his life that he had regretted his inability to shed tears, an inability that had limited him in more ways than just grieving. The old, stoic, macho image that had dominated society for so long was gradually giving way before a more realistic, more compassionate and open viewpoint.  Although he knew he was too set in his ways to change, Jack realized at some level it was better than the old way. 

“I don't want Charlie growing up with constipated emotions,” Sara said unexpectedly. 

“What!” Jack stared at her in disbelief.  “What did you just - I can't believe you just said that.” 

He was relieved to see her smile but the softened expression didn't change the determination in her eyes. 

“I mean it, Jack.  Go talk to him.  I need to talk to Daniel.” 
 
”Daniel?”  Damn, had he missed something with that boy, too? 

Sara's smile faded.  “He's been avoiding me ever since...” she swallowed. “Ever since Dad died.  This has probably brought back a lot of memories for him but every time I try to talk to him he somehow manages to distract me and disappear.”   

She looked vexed and Jack had to suppress a grin.  “The kid does have a way with words,” he noted. 

Sara sighed.  “He certainly does.  But tonight there'll be no escape.”  She gave him a quick kiss that ended up on his chin. 

“You - Charlie.  Me - Daniel.  Go.” 

“Yes, ma'am.”  Jack saluted, kissed her in return and rose to his feet, pulling her up after him.  “Good luck.” 

“You, too.” 

They went off to find their respective boy. 

Jack was surprised to find Charlie's bedroom door closed.  The outgoing, gregarious eleven-year-old normally kept it wide open.  Sara probably would say the closed door was another indication things were not normal with their son. 

He knocked and a faint “Come in” came through the door.  Charlie was sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed.  Jack's throat tightened when he noticed the boy was holding a picture taken of him and Mike at a ballgame last year. 

Seeing his father, Charlie laid the picture face down on the carpet beside him.  Jack closed the door and sat down next to his son. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hey,” Charlie answered quietly. 

Jack hadn't planned what he was going to say beforehand.  He still didn't know.  Seeing his son slumped on the floor, obviously miserable, sent a stab of pain through his heart. Though he hated to admit it, Sara was right.  Screw how hard this was going to be for him.  Charlie needed to know it was okay to grieve for his grandpa. 

Putting an arm around his son's shoulders, Jack pulled him close.  “I always liked that picture of you and Grandpa.  It's one of my favorites.” 

Charlie swiped furtively at his nose.  “Mine, too,” he said hoarsely. 

Jack pretended he hadn't noticed the gesture.  “I really miss Grandpa,” he confessed, feeling his throat tighten at the admission. 

Charlie looked up, his brown eyes brimming with unshed tears.  “Really?” he whispered. 

“Really,” Jack nodded.  “So does Mom.  And I know you do, too.”  Charlie's eyes dropped and he sniffed fiercely.  Jack sighed.  There was no way around it.  He had to come out and say it. 

“Son, I really screwed up.” 

“What?” Charlie exclaimed, staring at him with confused eyes. 

Jack nodded again.  “Yep.  You see, when I was growing up, guys were taught that they weren't supposed to show emotion.  Guys were supposed to be these strong, silent types who let women have all the feelings and emotions.  Guys sure as hell - uh, sorry, forget I said that.  Guys weren't supposed to cry.  That was considered weak and, um, well, girly.”  He winced at his words, glad that Sara couldn't hear him.  Saying them out loud made him realize how times had changed. 

“Mom's not weak,” Charlie said indignantly.  “She was... she was crying, um...” he sniffed again, “about Grandpa, but she's not weak.  She's strong and smart and - ” 

“Yeah,” Jack agreed.  “Your mom is all of those things.  See, buddy, a lot of the stuff I learned when I was growing up was wrong, but I didn't know that until I was all grown up.  And now it's hard to change, even though I know I need to.”  He put his hand under his son's chin and raised it until their eyes met. 

“I've never been much for crying, Charlie.  You probably noticed that.  That's something I was taught when I was a kid and I'm having a hard time letting go of it.  The truth is, there's nothing wrong with tears.  Especially when we're sad, crying can help get the sadness out so we can feel better.” 

Tears brimmed afresh in Charlie's eyes and he picked up the picture he'd been looking at when Jack came in. 

“Ever since he... since the memorial service...” Charlie gulped.  “I know I shouldn't... I mean, I know he's gone.  But I keep looking at the bleachers during practice... I keep forgetting...”  He looked up at his father as tears began to slide down his face. 

“Crying is okay?  Really?” 

“Yeah,” Jack said tenderly.  “Crying is really okay.  We miss Grandpa and it's okay to cry because he's gone.” 

A sob broke from his son and Jack put both arms around his little boy, holding him tightly as Charlie finally released his grief.  He rubbed the small, shaking back gently, rocking his son in his arms. 

“It's okay,” he whispered against Charlie's tousled hair.  “Let it out, son.  Dad's here and it's okay.  We're all going to be okay.  I promise.” 

Hearing his son's anguish, feeling his shirt dampening under Charlie's tears, Jack had to swallow his own tears.  He knew he shouldn't resist them.  He'd feel better if he could weep for Mike, but he couldn't.  At least he'd broken through to Charlie and for that Jack was fervently grateful.  He hoped Sara had been as successful in reaching Daniel. 

Sara had debated several different approaches on her way to Daniel's room but she hadn't been able to settle on one.  His door was closed, as always, and she sighed to herself.  One day, she hoped, the little boy would feel secure enough with them to leave it open. That was a struggle for another day. 

She knocked lightly and opened the door a crack.  “May I come in?” 

Daniel was sitting at his new desk, a book in hand.  When he looked at her, his expression changed.  It happened so fast, was so fleeting, that Sara wasn't positive she had seen it, but she was pretty sure she had.  It had been the look of a trapped animal.  The realization hurt but it also shored up her determination to find out what was going on.  She hoped she'd be able to help him get past whatever it was, so he would stop avoiding her. 

“Okay,” he said. 

That was about as noncommittal a tone of voice as Sara had ever heard and her heart sank.  This was going to be more difficult than she had thought.    

Keeping her smile firmly in place, Sara sat down on the edge of the bed.  Daniel shifted in his chair to face her.  

“How are you enjoying the Chess Club?” she asked, pretending not to notice his wary expression. 

Whatever he had been expecting, that wasn't it.  Sara was pleased to see surprise in those blue eyes, edging out the wariness. 

“The Chess Club?” 

She nodded.  “I know you've only been in it for a couple of weeks but I've been wondering how it's going so far.” 

“Oh,” Daniel said slowly.  “Okay.” 

“Are you enjoying it?” she persisted. 

He nodded silently.  Sara raised her eyebrows enquiringly, a trick she'd learned from her husband.  On a good day it could be more effective than truth serum. 

“Mr. Connors is nice.  He's a good teacher and he really listens to us.” 

Three pieces of information in two brief sentences!  Considering how quiet Daniel had been, Sara recognized it as a positive step. 

“I'm glad.  You know, Jack was very impressed by your performance at the chess tournament.” 

Daniel's eyes widened.  “He was?” 

“Didn't he mention it?” Sara wasn't surprised when he shook his head and she made a mental note to bring it up with her husband. “Well, he certainly mentioned it to me.  His exact words, if I remember correctly, were, 'Daniel creamed the competition.'” 

“He said that?” 

Sara hated to hear the disbelief in the boy's tone.  She didn't know if it was the result of Daniel's two years in foster care or if Jack hadn't been as responsive as he should have been, but she vowed to find out.  Once she had, well, whatever they needed to do to fix things, she'd see it was done. 

“Yes, he did,” she assured the boy. “I'm glad you're enjoying the Chess Club.  Is school awfully boring?” 

She'd spoken in a deliberately light tone and was relieved to see Daniel's faint smile. 

“It's okay,” he said. 

“Does that mean it's normally boring or abnormally boring?” 

Daniel blinked at her and Sara mentally cheered when his faint smile widened.  He gave a slight shrug. 

“I knew it'd be boring,” he acknowledged.  “It's okay.  I, um...” Daniel hesitated, eyeing her uncertainly.  Sara gave him her most open, inquisitive look, afraid to press him any further. 

“I have a friend,” he confided in a rush. 

Another positive step.  Sara was enjoying the conversation despite the feelings of guilt for being so self-absorbed these past few weeks.  Her grief was one thing, the needs of this emotionally-battered, emotionally-starved little boy were something else, something that should have taken priority. 

“I'm glad to hear that,” she said, keeping her response carefully low-key and silently urging him to keep talking. 

“Her name is Karen,” Daniel continued, watching her.  When she nodded encouragingly, he went on.  “She likes to read, like me.  And she likes history, too.  Well, mostly American history.  But I've been telling her about the ancient civilizations and she's very interested.” 

“She sounds very nice,” Sara said approvingly.  She was delighted he had made a friend, who probably helped alleviate some of the boredom Daniel felt with his classes.  She was also pleased to see his posture, which had been very stiff when she first entered, was now relaxed.  Good, she thought to herself.  Keep it up. 

“When are you supposed to begin your college courses?” she asked. 

“Oh!” Daniel exclaimed.  He looked at his backpack sitting on the floor.  “Mr. Sutton gave me a note today to give to you.  I forgot.” 

“That's all right.”  Sara suppressed a smile while Daniel swooped down on his pack and rummaged through it, dislodging books, binders and loose papers before finally emerging holding an envelope.  

“Do you know what it says?” she asked as he handed it to her. 

He nodded as she opened it.  There were only a few lines that Sara read quickly before glancing back to the boy. 

“Are you okay with this?” she asked seriously. 

Daniel nodded again.  “Mr. Sutton said it would take several weeks to finalize everything, and since the school year is almost over it makes more sense to wait until school started again in the fall.  By then they'll have had time to set everything up.” 

As he spoke, Sara thought she heard an echo of the principal's voice and suppressed a frown.  “I understand why he'd prefer to do it that way,” she acknowledged, “but my question stands.  Are you comfortable waiting until the fall to begin your college courses?  If not, I can insist they do whatever needs to be done so you can start them sooner.” 

Daniel looked at her in obvious surprise and Sara inwardly cursed a foster care system that filled a child with such insecurity. 

“I'm not concerned about what Mr. Sutton or the school would prefer,” she said firmly.  “I'm concerned with what you want to do.” 

“Oh,” Daniel said slowly.  After a moment of thought, he gave another slight shrug.  “School will be over in a few weeks.  It'll probably be easier to wait until fall.” 

“Is that what you want?” Sara had no intention of letting this slide, even though her insistence was clearly confusing the boy.  “You want to wait until fall to start?” 

Daniel studied her and she was struck all over again by the realization that his blue eyes saw far more deeply than ten-year-old eyes should be able to. 

“Yeah,” he said finally, giving her a shy smile.  “That'll be fine.” 

“Then that's what we'll do,” Sara agreed, fighting a surge of emotion at the smile.  It took so little to make a child happy, especially one like Daniel who had had known so little happiness in the last two years.  She wished, oh, how she wished, her father had had a chance to know Daniel.  They would have been wonderful together.  Pain squeezed her heart at the thought. 

“Sara?” 

A small, tentative hand rested lightly on her arm, calling her back from her grief.  Sara blinked back her tears and smiled down at his anxious expression. 

“It's okay, honey,” she said without thinking.  He flinched and Sara realized the endearment had startled him.  Ignoring his reaction, she spoke from the heart. 

“I was thinking about my dad,” she admitted. 

Daniel blinked and swallowed. “And it hurts to think about him?”

It was Sara's turn to swallow because she knew his words came out of his own bitter experience.  “Yes,” she said simply.  “But I know the pain won't last forever and someday I'll be able to think of him and remember only the love.” 

“Are you sure?” He blinked again, more rapidly this time.   

Sara's heart ached for the little boy.  “Yes, honey,” she said gently, “I'm very sure.  As hard as it is to face, losing people we love is part of life, too.  But death can never take away the memories or the love we shared with those people.  That's what we need to remember.  It's the memories and the love that will help us travel through the pain and grief until they're behind us and only the memories and the love remain.” 

Daniel's head was bowed and she couldn't tell what he was thinking.  Sara hoped she wasn't being precipitate with her words. Jack's warning that night after he'd taken Daniel to the Mountain for the first time had shocked her.  She hadn't realized Daniel was still clinging to his old life, to his lost parents. Since then, she had longed to reach out to the boy, longed to offer arms to hold him, a shoulder to cry on, to support him, to give him whatever he needed.  It was wrong for a child to grieve alone.  Sara had hoped and prayed a time would come when he would be open to her and willing to share his grief.  Now, it seemed that time had come. 

“One of the hardest things to do," she continued, "is letting go.  I don't want to let go of my dad.  But until I do, I can't move on, I can't begin to work through the pain of his death.”  Tears welled up as Sara spoke, but she ignored them. 

“My mother died ten years ago and that's when I discovered how important it was to let go.  My father helped me understand that when I let her go, that made it possible to hold on to her forever.”  Sara blinked through her tears to see Daniel staring up at her, his own blue eyes shimmering. 

“That may not make much sense when I say it,” she admitted, “but it's true.  When I let go, I also let go of the grief and all the other emotions that got in the way of remembering her.  What was left over after I let go was my mom, all my memories of her, including her love for me.”  Sara smiled through her tears and brushed them away.   

“I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to get all weepy on you,” she said, clearing her throat. 

She dared not call attention to the tears that were sliding silently down his face because she didn't think Daniel was aware of them. 

“That's okay,” he said softly.  “My mom and dad used to say that tears are as important as laughter.  It didn't matter whether they were good tears or sad tears.  Both kinds were important.” 

Sara spared a thought of gratitude for his parents.  She wished she'd had a chance to know them.  “Good tears and sad tears?” she questioned. 

Daniel nodded.  “Good tears for when you're happy and sad tears for when you're sad.” 

“Of course.  I'm slow today,” she smiled. This was the first time Daniel had spoken of his parents and she swallowed new tears at the realization. 

“Your parents sound like wonderful people.” 

The shy smile she had briefly glimpsed made another appearance and she added, “They undoubtedly had a lot to do with you being such a wonderful person.” 

“Um...” Color bloomed in his cheeks and his eyes dropped.   

Sara laughed softly and impulsively hugged him.  “Thank you, honey,” she whispered. 

“For what?”  He stiffened in her arms. 

“For being you.”  Sara knew she might be pushing him too fast, but she had been holding back since the first day they had met in the hospital.  With a silent prayer she added, “I love you.” 

Daniel didn't move and for a minute, Sara feared she'd made a mistake.  Then he relaxed against her and she silently cheered. 

“You do?” he said in a slightly unsteady voice. 

“Yes I do,” she said firmly.  

“Oh.”   

He fell silent and Sara suspected her declaration had overwhelmed him.  Well, that was fine.  She continued to hold him, ready to loosen her grip as soon as he indicated he needed some space, but not until then.  She had a feeling it had been a long time since anyone had really hugged this little boy and she had no intention of letting go until Daniel indicated he was ready. 

“Okay.” 

He spoke so softly she almost didn't hear him, but almost didn't count.  She had heard him.  Her delight in finally breaking through the boy's formidable emotional walls filled her with warmth, easing some of the pain and grief that had been her constant companions since her father's death. 

Daniel didn't seem eager for her to release him. So they sat together in companionable silence, drawing comfort from one another. 
 

Chapter 8 
 

"I thought you said I didn't have to come to work anymore, Jack?" 

"Yeah, I did, but I was hoping you wouldn't mind coming today. As a favor to me. What do you say?" 

"Sure," Daniel agreed quickly.  

He could hardly say no, not when he was living in Jack's house and eating Jack's food. Besides, he kind of liked translating the snake code.  He had come back to the Mountain with Jack several times since that first trip and his enthusiasm had grown with each visit. Translating not only brought back wonderful memories of his years with his parents, but it also satisfied a need inside himself that he didn't quite understand.  

Even though he had initially been relieved when Jack informed him his skills were no longer needed, Daniel had been surprised by the accompanying stab of disappointment.  

Disappointed because he really liked the translating part.  It was Dr. Meyers he didn't like. Even though Dr. Shore and the rest of the staff seemed to be warming up to him, Dr. Meyers definitely was not.  The thought of actually translating was still exciting though.  Plus, he would get a chance to see Captain Carter, the same Captain Carter who had played the starring role in his journal last weekend.  

So here he was at Cheyenne Mountain, driving through the checkpoint with Jack, again. Daniel found he wasn't nearly as nervous as he had been the first time they had entered the Mountain. The Marine at the gate smiled and called him DJ which Daniel kind of liked. He'd never had a nickname before and the fact that the jarhead remembered his name made Daniel feel special. Jarhead was a 'Jack' term and Daniel had no idea what it meant. Jack had names for lots of people; it didn't mean Jack didn't like them. He hoped that applied to himself, the super geek, as well.   

Daniel darted a sideways glance at the man walking beside him.  In the beginning, he had never believed he could be comfortable around Jack O'Neill.  The man was everything he was not and besides, he already had a life with his wife and son.  Daniel had been so sure the man wasn't really interested in him and that his placement in the O'Neill home was solely at Sara's instigation.  He doubted Jack had wanted him. 

Somewhere down the line, Daniel's feelings had changed.  Thinking back, he was pretty sure it had started the night after he and Sara had talked, when Jack invited him up to his little aerie.  Daniel knew the word - it was the common word for an eagle's nest - but he hadn't been sure what Jack meant by it.  He'd been surprised to discover Jack had built a little observation platform up on the flat portion of the roof, large enough to contain a couple chairs and a pretty serious-looking telescope.  Daniel had been even more surprised to learn that Jack was a big astronomy buff. 

Those couple of hours perched on top of the roof, looking up at the different constellations in the night sky while Jack explained what they were looking at, had been a revelation.  There was a whole lot more to Jack O'Neill than he had ever imagined, and along with this new knowledge Daniel realized there was a lot to like about the man. 

Jack stopped in the hallway before they arrived at the elevators and Daniel's wandering thoughts snapped back to the present.  

"Today is special, Daniel. We're going to show you a room with lots of interesting stuff but we want you to keep it a secret. Think you can you do that?"  

The seriousness of the request was obvious by Jack's willingness to get down on one knee to look him in the eye.  

"Like the snake code?" Not a problem. He could keep a secret. He kept lots of secrets.  

"Exactly! Same as the snake code. Double, triple, quadruple secret." 

"Top Secret," Daniel said wisely.  

"That's right. Top secret."  

"I'll never tell anyone, Jack."   

"Okay, let's go." Jack pushed the button and instead of stopping at the eighteenth floor the elevator kept going down, deeper and deeper into the pit of the mountain. Daniel found himself hoping they had enough air down there.   

He was so distracted by his concern that he didn't notice what floor they finally stopped on.  Jack hustled him out of the elevator and down the maze of corridors. 

"This is it." They stopped outside a door marked "Authorized Personnel Only".  

Daniel froze. The words made the door scary. "Am I authorized?"  

For the second time this morning Jack crouched down to be at eye level with him. "Of course you're authorized. You're with me."  

Daniel nodded to the floor, nervously wondering if Dr. Meyers was in there.  

"Hey, look at me." When he complied Jack continued. "I can stay in there if you want me to. Ride shotgun, give the scientists dirty looks. Just say the word." 

Relief flooded through him.  Jack seemed surprised when he nodded vigorously.  

Daniel was happy Jack was with him when Dr. Meyers and Dr. Shore jumped up as he entered the room. It was obvious they weren't expecting him.  

"Are you insane, Colonel O'Neill? You're bringing him in here? General West left specific orders that no one is allowed in this room without his personal, written consent." 

"Keep your shorts on, Meyers. I have the paperwork right here." Jack tapped his pocket. "What's the matter, afraid of being shown up by a kid?" 

Daniel blushed a deep shade of pink. Part of him wished Jack wouldn't say things like that while another part stood up and wildly cheered.  

"You should play a game of chess with the kid. Winner takes all the rocks. What do ya say, Meyers?" 

If looks could kill Jack would be coughing dust.  

Smiling broadly at Jack's words Daniel contemplated sticking his tongue out to further enrage the scientist until something caught his eye. For the first time he noticed they were standing in a large workroom. He blinked several times not believing his eyes. The walls were covered with charcoal rubbings and photo enlargements of hieroglyphics. On two large tables were a variety of very odd-looking artifacts. He forgot all about Dr. Meyers and stared in awe, his hand automatically reaching out to touch one of the photos.  

"Daniel." Sam jumped up from her chair. "Take a look at this." She pulled down a sheet to reveal the Giza tablets fastened to the wall.  

As if in a trance Daniel dragged a chair from the table to the wall and climbed up on it to reverently touch the tablets. "Where did you find these?" he asked, his voice trembling with wonder.  

His reaction silenced the scientists and military personnel alike. Sam leaned a little closer.  

"Giza, 1928," she whispered in his ear.  

He'd been to Giza with his parents but he'd never seen anything like this.    

Dr. Shore joined them. "There are two lines of hieroglyphics," the nicer of the scientists explained excitedly. "The outer edge has some familiar figures as you can see." She pointed to a chalkboard next to the hieroglyphs that had been translated to read, 'year 10 of king? Sky, Ra, The sun disk, coffin, door to heaven'.  

Next she pointed to the inner track of glyphs. "These symbols are unlike any ever found. Like Champillion with the Rosetta Stone, we tried to compare the two readings against each other for any similarities without success." 

A line formed in the center of Daniel's forehead as he bit down on his lower lip while staring at the chalkboard. Then he jumped down and pulled the chair with him so he could examine the translation more closely.  

"It's all wrong," he said more to himself than to anyone else. "Must have used Budge.  My dad said they should stop reprinting his books." 

Dr. Meyers could no longer stay quiet or hide his disdain. "We tried decoding it, used translation computer programs, used every known technique, for years with no results…"  

Daniel was so engrossed he barely noticed the aggravation in Dr. Meyer's raised voice. Instinctively, he knew these words were important and he no longer cared about Dr. Meyers or Dr. Shore or any of them. This was a puzzle he desperately wanted to solve. Not for them, but for himself. He picked up an eraser.     

"Excuse me!" Even though Dr. Meyers sounded extremely agitated, Daniel felt strangely unaffected. He was only remotely aware of Jack gripping the doctor's shoulder to keep him from interfering.  

"This is utterly ridiculous," the overruled scientist huffed.  

Daniel barely heard the remark. He was too busy concentrating. "That's a curious word to use, 'qebeh',” he muttered to himself.  "Then an adverbial sedjem-en-ef with a cleft subject, 'sealed and buried'."   

He erased the words on the board and began writing in earnest. 

"What are you doing?" Dr. Meyer's voice was no longer loud but more of a whine and Daniel found he was no longer worried. Not with Jack there. The other scientists seemed very interested in what he was writing. Not just Sam, but Dr. Shore and their staff, too.  Someone must have called General West because Daniel noticed Jack's boss standing behind him, watching.  

“Forever to eternity, for all time." Daniel folded his arms over his chest, his index finger absently tapping his lower lip as he stared intently at the board. "You really should have gotten that one," he added innocently. He couldn't resist, Dr. Meyers had been so mean. It was worth it when he heard Jack chuckle behind him.   

“I knew it wasn't right," Dr. Shore said with a hint of glee, adding insult to injury to the beleaguered Meyers.   

Daniel resumed writing and circled the last word of the original translation. In his high, ten-year-old voice he read, "A million years into the sky is Ra, Sun God. Sealed and buried for all time his..." Again, he tapped the chalk thoughtfully against his lips. "Not 'door to heaven'," he muttered, thinking furiously. Without warning the answer bloomed fully formed in his mind.  

"I got it, Jack!" Still standing on the chair, Daniel excitedly wrote the last word then turned to face his captive audience to read the board triumphantly. "A million years into the sky is Ra, Sun God. Sealed and buried for all time his... Stargate!" 

As the hushed silence continued Daniel's enthusiasm waned. "I'm pretty sure that's right," he said a bit more subdued.   

"Two years?" Jack bellowed. "You guys have been working on this for two years?" He lifted Daniel up off the chair and set him down on the floor, all the while shaking his head. "C'mon, let's get some ice cream, Danny."  

"Did I help, Jack?" 

"Oh, I'd say so. Just wait and see what I'm going to show you next week."  

The next day Jack walked briskly through the corridors of the base trying to juggle his surprise, anger and frustration without allowing any one emotion to dominate. 

Yesterday, when Daniel had figured out the Stargate - or at least, it appeared the boy had done so; the scientists were currently involved in god knows what in an effort to confirm it - Jack had thought, damn it, he wasn't sure what he'd thought.  One thing he had definitely not considered was that the whole project would be put on hold. 

Yet that's exactly what had happened.  All in less than twenty-four hours. 

He should have known something was up yesterday afternoon when General West disappeared soon after Daniel's stunning translation.  His C.O. didn't return to the base and he wasn't returning any messages. Jack had assumed the General was tied up in high-level meetings or military something or others. 

When Jack had arrived at the base this morning the first thing he found was a message to report immediately to West's office.  Even then, he assumed the general wanted to discuss the repercussions of Daniel's translation and the follow-up steps that needed to be taken. 

Jack cursed at the memory.  He had walked into West's office with a spring in his step, still vicariously enjoying Daniel's breakthrough.  After all, he had brought Daniel into the project.  He deserved some credit for the boy's achievements. 

After witnessing Daniel's initial success in the translations, Jack had set in motion certain elements that needed to come together in order to take the next step.  Now that they'd made progress in figuring out the Stargate, Jack was on fire to begin putting together the next step.  Steps, rather. 

As soon as Jack had entered West's office his enthusiasm waned.  The General was looking dour.  That wasn't unusual, but after working closely with the man for nearly two years it was obvious something was wrong. 

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Jack began. 

“Yes.”  West looked down at a file folder opened on his desk.  “Your young protégé made some large waves yesterday.” 

“It looks like he figured it out, General," Jack said, ignoring his growing apprehension. "The scientists are re-checking everything but so far it all checks out according to how Daniel figured it.”  He hesitated, studying the indifference on the General's face. What the hell, he'd gone this far. “We need to move forward with this new information.” 

“No.” 

“Excuse me, sir?” Though Jack had suspected something was up, he hadn't expected that.   

“I said no.” West raised his head until his cold eyes met his 2IC's.   

Stunned, Jack struggled to find the right words.  It took a minute to recover.  “May I ask why not, General?” 

West didn't respond immediately.  Jack was about to ask a follow-up question when his C.O. abruptly said, “I'm leaving.  Someone else will be assuming command.” 

Wha - what? 

It had been hard to believe.  They were in the middle of a top secret project, the key to which a ten-year-old boy may have just handed them, and the C.O. of the project was walking away? 

What the hell? 

“Uh, sir...” he stammered.  “It looks like... I mean, this Stargate may be, well, it may be much more than what the scientists have theorized.  We need to... I mean, we should - ” 

“Nothing is going to be done for now,” West said flatly.  “Everything is on hold until the change of command is complete and the new commanding officer is up to speed.  Is that clear, Colonel?” 

There was only one acceptable response and he gave it.  “Yes, sir.” 

Thinking about the uncomfortable confrontation, Jack muttered, “Damn it to hell,” as he traversed the corridors at high speed. 

No one else knew.  The official announcement was on hold and Jack wasn't looking forward to the fall-out.  Especially among the scientists.  He'd be glad to see the last of that asshole, Meyers, but the other scientists hadn't been so bad, for scientists, anyway.  But West had insisted on making a clean sweep and bringing in an entirely new group, contingent on the approval of the new C.O.   

What was his name?  Hammond, that was it.  Jack resolved to make a few phone calls to find out what he could about the new General.  It had an element of risk, if word should ever get out, but it seemed like a risk worth taking.  He needed to know how to approach the man, how to win him over to the project, win his cooperation to do what they needed to do in order to... 

Jack shoved the thoughts away.  He dared not consider them, not yet.  If Daniel's claims about the Stargate proved accurate... the possibilities were truly staggering.  Not for the first time, he wondered if he'd stumbled into an episode of that greatest of sci-fi shows, the Twilight Zone.  It sure as hell felt like it. 

“Colonel!” 

Jack stopped and turned around.  Major Charlie Kawalsky was hurrying toward him, his face split in half by a broad smile. 

Stopping directly in front of him, Kawalsky came to attention and ripped off a textbook salute.  “Major Charles Kawalsky reporting as ordered, SIR!” 

Grinning in return, Jack returned the salute.  “As you were, Kawalsky.  When did you get in?” 

“Just a couple of hours ago, sir.  Been filling out paperwork and killing time in the infirmary.”  He gave a mock shudder.  “You have some scary medical personnel down there, Colonel.” 

“All part of the plan, Kawalsky.  If new arrivals survive their first trip to the infirmary, they may have what it takes to stay.” 

Kawalsky tried and failed to suppress a snort, as he fell in beside Jack and they resumed walking. 

“It's been... three years, hasn't it, sir?” 

“Thereabouts,” Jack acknowledged. 

The Major gave him a sideways look.  “I heard that you asked for me by name, Colonel.” 

Damn.  Well, Jack hadn't really expected it not to get out.  “You, Ferretti, and a few others I've worked with in the past,” he admitted. 

“Thank you, sir,” Kawalsky said soberly.  “That means a lot.  May I ask why we're here?” 

Though he could feel the man's eyes on him, Jack didn't meet them.  Having Kawalsky and the others transferred here had been one of the first things he had set in motion after Daniel had proved he could translate the writings. 

Looking back, Jack wondered at his orders.  He hadn't known then what Daniel was going to figure out, or what the Stargate might actually mean. He still wasn't sure.  On a deeper level, he had sensed something, some possibility that made him decide to bring on board some military personnel experienced in very specialized Special Ops. 

“You're here, Charlie,” he said quietly, “all of you are here because of possibilities.” 

Kawalsky was silent for a moment before answering. “Whatever you need, Colonel, we've got your six.” 

The Major had no idea what the project was about, but Jack was warmed by the man's unwavering support.  Yes, this was one of the reasons he wanted people he knew and trusted on standby.  Because of the possibilities. 
 

Chapter 9 
 

Sara lay quietly in bed, staring at the ceiling.  Beside her, Jack was deeply asleep and the sound of his steady breathing irritated her.  Which was totally irrational.  Whatever Jack did at Cheyenne Mountain not only took a great deal of his time but it also took a great deal out of him.  Even on the days he was home, he was often preoccupied and easily aggravated.  Fortunately, he was an extremely intelligent man, notwithstanding the 'me dumb Jack' image he liked to portray, who loved his wife and son and was quick to recognize when he was being unreasonable and apologize. 

She sighed and turned over onto her side.  It wasn't Jack's fault he was so busy at the Mountain that the burden of taking care of Charlie and Daniel often fell completely on her shoulders.  Jack did what he could, but sometimes it didn't feel like enough.  Like now. 

As if trying to move beyond her father's death wasn't difficult enough, Sara was becomingly increasingly concerned with what was happening between Charlie and Daniel.  She had watched the distance growing between the two boys.  It had started slowly.  At first, Charlie tried hard to reach out to Daniel, to involve him in his beloved sports and other activities.  But in almost every way Daniel proved to be Charlie's opposite.  Daniel was shy, introverted, fascinated with the challenges of the mind and totally uninterested in sports or models or flying.  His consistent rejection of Charlie's overtures would have turned off someone much older.  It wasn't surprising that Charlie had eventually stopped trying. 

Sara tried to stay out of it.  She knew the boys would have to come to some kind of understanding on their own.  Any adult pressure would only make an already difficult situation worse.  

What Sara hadn't realized until recently was that Daniel had no intention of trying to fit in and become a part of their family.  Her heart broke at the realization that his wounds ran far deeper than she'd first suspected. Despite her best efforts to understand, she couldn't imagine what it must have been like for eight-year-old Daniel when he had lost his parents.  Newly arrived in a strange country with no other close relatives or friends, then to lose his parents that way, to see - in the blink of an eye - his entire world crushed under a massive block of stone... 

Sara blotted her tears in the pillow.  Sometimes she regretted having researched Daniel's background so thoroughly.  Except she had felt - still felt - that she hadn't had a choice.  If she was going to be able to reach the boy she had to understand where he was coming from. 

So she had found out.  An unimaginable tragedy had destroyed his life, only to leave him still breathing, completely alone, and thrown into a foster care system that was totally unequipped to deal with a grieving, suffering child. 

Now, two years later, he was hiding behind emotional walls higher and stronger than she had ever seen. 

At first, Sara had been pleased - albeit very surprised - when Jack began taking Daniel to the Mountain.  She was glad to see this bit of progress and hoped it signaled the beginning of a solid relationship between the two of them. 

And that seemed to be happening. 

As glad as she was to see that, she was growing more concerned with Charlie's increasing frustration and - though it hurt to acknowledge it - hostility toward Daniel. 

She understood her son's feelings.  The father he adored was taking this newcomer, this interloper, where he refused to take Charlie.  Jack was spending more and more time with Daniel at the expense of his son. 

Sara had tried to talk to Jack about it but he was completely focused on whatever was happening at the Mountain.  She had seen it before, the way her husband developed a kind of tunnel vision when he was involved in an important project... 

“Damn,” she murmured softly. 

As hard as she had searched, she hadn't been able to find a path out of this tortuous thicket of emotions - not for Charlie, not for Daniel.  If she couldn't find that path for the boys, Sara feared for the future of her family. 

Late the next morning Daniel sat on a step ladder and gazed at the cover stone.  Even after staring at it for more than a week, he hadn't lost the sense of excitement or awe it inspired, but with each passing day he had grown progressively more frustrated. 

He knew he was missing something.  But that seemed to be all he knew. 

Daniel rubbed his forehead irritably, hoping it would ease the headache that had nagged him all morning.  That was the result of tossing and turning in bed all night.  There was something nudging at him just below the surface of his consciousness.  He had sensed it growing over the last few days.  It was right there, almost within reach, but not quite. 

He glared at the cover stone.  What was he missing? 

He rubbed his forehead again, then almost fell off the ladder when a voice startled him. 

“Daniel?  Are you all right?” 

He caught himself and looked down to see Captain Carter - Sam - looking up at him.  Despite his headache and preoccupation, he couldn't help noticing how the lights overhead made her blonde hair shine, almost like a halo. 

Feeling the heat in his cheeks, he was glad she didn't know what he was thinking.  “I'm fine,” he said, giving her his best smile. 

She didn't look convinced.  “Why don't you take a break?” she suggested. “I understand Lou, Captain Ferretti, brought in some doughnuts.” 

Daniel scowled.  Captain Ferretti was new to the Mountain but he was already on a first-name basis with Sam.  

“I'm not hungry,” he returned.  Then, realizing he sounded ungracious, added, “Thanks anyway” and turned his attention back to the cover stone, hoping she'd take the hint. 

She did, moving away so quietly it took Daniel a minute to realize she had gone. He stifled a yawn then glanced around the huge room hoping no one had noticed. 

Daniel was glad Jack wasn't around because he would have noticed.  Jack noticed everything.  Well, maybe not this morning, he recalled with a grin.  They'd been running late and everybody had been rushing around, getting into each other's way, especially in the kitchen.  Someone, Daniel thought it had been Charlie though he didn't say so, had bumped the kitchen table, knocking over Jack's cup of coffee and the unopened newspaper.  The newspaper had gone flying in twenty different pieces, and so had the coffee. 

Daniel suppressed a laugh at the memory of the disaster caused by one simple cup of coffee.  While Sara had hastily filled the dishwasher, Charlie had picked up the pieces of the cup and saucer, Daniel had more-or-less slapped the newspaper back together, and Jack had grabbed a mop to quickly swab the floor.  Then they had all scattered in various directions, kind of like a bunch of ants whose ant hill had been trampled. 

He grinned at the image, his grin widening as he remembered chasing after Jack as he raced out of the house to his truck while still trying to stuff his coffee-spattered, unread paper into a pocket.  As Daniel had discovered in the last month, few things irritated the man as much as not being able to start his day with a cup of coffee and the newspaper, neither of which had worked out this morning.  Choosing discretion as the better part of valor, Daniel had kept quiet during their ride to the Mountain.  As usual, they separated at the elevator, Jack giving him a grunt as he disappeared. 

Daniel wondered if Jack had had a chance to read his newspaper.  It had sure been a mess; all the sections had fallen loose when the paper had been knocked off the table. 

Something tickled the back of his mind and he sat up, mentally and physically.  Something... what something? 

Something about Jack's newspaper. 

Okay, Daniel thought, go slow.  Start at the beginning. 

Jack had just unfolded the paper and laid it open on the table.  Daniel had glimpsed the front page just before it fell, but didn't recall anything of interest. 

No.  Whatever his subconscious had caught hold of came later.   

The newspaper had fallen to the floor, its flight through the air throwing the pages into disarray and knocking several sections loose.  They'd been spread under and around the table and he'd knelt down to grab them so he could put them back into some kind of rough order. 

There'd been something... one of the pages had contained something... he'd seen it but it hadn't caught his attention.  It must have caught his subconscious's attention. 

Why?  What had he seen? 

Closing his eyes, Daniel replayed those few minutes.  One section had been about business stuff, and then there'd been a section about fashion and style.  There'd been another section, the top part of that cover page had something on astrology and below that had been a crossword puzzle.  Then had come the sports section -  

Wait.  Wait. 

Go back. 

Business, fashion, astrology... astrology? 

In his mind's eye, Daniel saw the map of the constellations Jack had on the wall in his home office. 

Astrology. 

Constellations. 

Stargate. 

Daniel flew down the ladder and ran pell-mell into Sam.  She staggered back and gripped his shoulders. 

“Daniel, what's wrong?” 

“Jack!” he gasped.  “I have to see Jack!” 

“What - ” 

He wrenched free of her grasp and sprinted for the massive door, darting through it and racing down the corridor. 

Astrology. 

Constellations. 

Stargate. 

The words reverberated through his head and he ran faster.  He had to get to Jack. 

Jack would know.  

“Hey, kid!” 

An SF grabbed for him as he raced by but Daniel was barely aware of him. 

Right turn at this corridor. 

Go faster. 

Another right turn. 

Hurry, hurry. 

Left turn. 

There were the elevators. 

But he didn't have an access card! 

Daniel skidded to a halt in front of the elevators and wanted to shout in frustration. 

“Daniel!” 

He whirled. 

Sam ran up behind him, her eyes wide and worried.  “Daniel, what's wrong?” 

“Jack!” he gasped. 

“Okay, okay,” she said quickly. 

Daniel could have wept in relief when she pulled out her access card to call the elevator.  He stood bent over, his hands on his knees, while he tried to drag in more air for his straining lungs. 

“What's taking so long?” he demanded between breaths. 

“It's coming.  Just hang on a - ” 

Elevator doors slid opened and Daniel leaped inside.  Sam followed and pressed one of the buttons. 

“Is that where Jack is?” he demanded. 

“We're going to his office,” she answered. 

“Is he in his office?” Daniel persisted. 

“I don't know.”  She gave him a reassuring smile.  “If he's not, it won't be hard to find him.  He's second in command of the base, after all.” 

When the elevator doors opened again, only Sam's hand on his arm kept Daniel from dashing out. 

“This way,” she said. 

When they turned a corner, the first thing Daniel saw was Jack stepping through a door into the corridor. 

“Jack!” he called, yanking free of Sam's grip again and rushing forward. 

Jack turned and his eyebrows shot up at the sight of the pair.   

“Whoa, Daniel!” he exclaimed, catching the boy by the shoulders when he came to a gasping stop.  “Where's the fire?” 

He spoke to Daniel but his eyes looked beyond the boy to Carter.  She gave him an apologetic smile. 

“I'm sorry, sir, but he said he had to see you right away.  So - ” 

Jack's brusque nod silenced her and he looked at the boy who was still trying to catch his breath. “What's going on?”  He spoke with a quiet authority that immediately calmed Daniel's anxiety.   

Daniel knew his instinctive desire to reach the man had been correct.  But what if he was wrong? 

“The Stargate,” he whispered, suddenly fearful.  

“You want me to come with you to the Stargate?” 

Daniel shook his head violently.  He was mixing everything up.  Taking a deep breath, he started over. 

“No, the cover stone.” 

Jack's eyebrows rose even higher. “Let's go.” 

Now that Jack was with him and the next few minutes would determine if he had figured this out or not, all Daniel wanted to do was run in the opposite direction.  What if he was wrong?  He had disturbed Jack and taken him away from his work, and he had disturbed Sam and taken her away from her work, too.  And what about all the other people in that room?  He hadn't thought about them when he ran out of the room like a crazy person but he must have disturbed them, too. 

What would Jack think of him if he turned out to be wrong?  With each step, Daniel felt his heart dropping lower. 

It was at a considerably slower, more decorous pace that they returned to the room containing the cover stone.  As they entered, Daniel took a quick look around and his heart sank even lower.  Sure enough, everyone was staring.  Oh, yes.  He had disturbed everyone when he ran out yelling for Jack. 

Ignoring the other people in the room, Jack led Daniel to the cover stone. 

“Did you figure it out?” he said quietly.  “Do you know what it says?” 

Daniel took a deep breath, swallowed hard, cleared his throat and swallowed again.  As Jack liked to say, it was time to fish or cut bait.  

"I don't think it's a message." Daniel stared at the glyphs . “Remember when you told me the names of the stars and showed me how they got their names? You said, 'connect the dots'." 

"I did?” Jack frowned, then his expression cleared.  “Oh, yeah, I did."

"Maybe these are the dots. Already connected."  

Carefully, Daniel explained the correlations he had just made - from the astrology symbols in the morning's newspaper, to the chart of the constellations, a star map, that he had first seen in Jack's home office, and Daniel's own translation of the original mystery phrase -  

“A million years into the sky...” 

Jack listened intently, his eyes focused on the cover stone.  Daniel was concentrating so hard as he spelled out the logic behind his intuitive leaps he forgot there was anyone else in the room.  He jumped when a familiar, unwelcome voice intruded. 

"Why would they go to all this trouble to point out a few star constellations?" Meyers frowned his disapproval. 

Daniel paused for a long minute before answering. "Not to tell us about them," he said slowly. "But to tell us how to visit them!  It is a Stargate, remember? A gate to the stars." He was furiously thinking out loud.  "A map!  It's a map!"  

All eyes turned on Daniel in amazement but there was only one pair of eyes that concerned him.  His heart in his throat, he watched Jack's unreadable features as the man continued to gaze at the cover stone. 

Had he gotten it right? He thought he had.  It 'felt' right, deep down inside, but he didn't know if he had explained it properly.  He wished desperately that Jack would say something, anything, but at the same time Daniel feared what he might say.  If Jack didn't believe him... Daniel wasn't sure he could stand that. 

Finally, Jack turned his head to meet Daniel's anxious eyes.  Slowly his lips curved and he said quietly, but with an undertone of emotion, “I do believe you've done it, kiddo.” 

Daniel grinned in return and felt as if the weight of the world had dropped from his shoulders. 
 

Chapter 10 
 

Sara stifled a yawn and checked to see if there were enough hot dogs to serve for tonight's dinner.  It had been especially hectic at the hospital today and she was glad to be home, even if she didn't feel like cooking.  These double shifts were beginning to take their toll.   

Don't lie to yourself, woman.  As tiring as they were, she had embraced the double shifts like a life preserver.  They kept her busy, too busy to think about what would otherwise be dominating her thoughts. 

The pain of her father's death was a constant weight on her heart.  Work distracted her but not completely.  Even in the midst of tending to a sick patient, errant memories of Mike intruded.   

This morning she had met a family whose teenager had learned the hard way that riding a skateboard down a steep flight of stairs wasn't a smart move. Fortunately, the boy hadn't been seriously injured but the parents had been understandably frantic until the doctor was able to reassure them their son would be fine.  An older man had been with them, the father of one of the parents, and the sight of him twisted Sara's heart with fresh pain. The man didn't look like her dad; she supposed it was the knowledge that he was someone's grandfather, someone who was fortunate enough to still have their grandfather... 

She grabbed a paper towel to wipe at her brimming eyes and then blew her nose. 

Time.  She needed time.  They all needed time.  Only with the passing of time would the hurt begin to ease.  Sara thought of her mother, gone now for ten years.  She remembered the acute pain of those first months after her mom had died and how worried she had been for her father. 

Mike and Elizabeth had been childhood sweethearts. Their affection had deepened and matured throughout high school and college, culminating with their wedding day soon after they graduated.  The marriage had lasted thirty-two years before cancer took Elizabeth away from her family.  Mike had grieved deeply for the woman he loved.  More than once during that terrible time, Sara had thought that if not for herself and Charlie, and to a lesser degree, Jack, her father might have given up and followed her mom to the grave. 

But dad had endured and time - and family - had helped him, and Sara, to gradually let go and move on.  The sense of loss would always remain but the acute sorrow slowly eased until they were able to remember Elizabeth as she deserved to be remembered, with love and laughter... and occasional tears.  Tears were all right, as long as they were balanced with love and laughter.  Good tears, as Daniel called them. 

She sniffed again, took one more swipe at her eyes, and dumped the soggy paper towel into the garbage can.  She looked around her kitchen, grateful that the arrival of her family was imminent.  Jack and Charlie and Daniel were far and away the best medicine in the entire world. 

Glancing at the clock, Sara gave a guilty start.  Soon her guys would come bursting in, offering wild and extravagant claims of hunger.  She'd better quit dawdling and figure out what they had to go along with the dogs. 

As she moved around the kitchen, her heart wasn't quite as heavy and Sara was thankful for her family, for those who had gone before and those who still remained.  They were all an essential part of her and, grief and pain notwithstanding, she wouldn't have it any other way. 

Tonight, she decided, they would take a little break from the ordinary and eat dinner out in the backyard. That would enhance the appeal of the hot dogs.  

A familiar thud sounded behind her and Sara smiled at the knowledge that her son had just done his usual jump down from the third to the last step of the stairs.   

“Five, four, three, two...” she counted softly to herself, and then Charlie was in the kitchen, sniffing eagerly. 

“What's for dinner, Mom?  Want me to set the table?” 

Sara grabbed the edge of the counter before her knees buckled from feigned shock.  Slowly she looked over her shoulder at the bright-eyed boy. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Charlie O'Neill?” 

“I set the table sometimes,” he snickered. 

“After I've asked you six times in a row and your father has threatened to send you to bed without dinner,” she reminded him, pleased to see her normally buoyant son acting more like himself.  His talk with Jack the other night had clearly helped. 

“So maybe I wanted to surprise you,” he said archly. 

“Congratulations,” she returned dryly, “you succeeded.  And yes, thank you, you can set the table, I think we're just going to throw on some hot dogs but we're eating in the backyard tonight.” 

“Why?” Charlie's eyebrows rose.   

“I thought it would make a nice change of pace.  A kind of a family picnic outside.” 

Silence greeted her words and Sara turned around to find her son watching her with an unreadable expression. 

“What's wrong?” she asked. 

Charlie opened his mouth, closed it and then asked, “Are Dad and Daniel coming?” 

“Yes.  Your father called a few minutes ago to say they were on their way home.”  Sara smiled at the memory of their conversation.  “He seemed rather excited and said he was bringing ice cream.” 

Charlie's eyes widened.  “Ice cream?  What are we celebrating?” 

“I don't know.  He didn't say.”  She studied him with a vague sense of unease.  “Is everything okay, honey?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

That was the most unconvincing affirmation she had ever heard.  “Charlie - ” 

“I'll get the paper plates.” He turned away.   

Sara watched him disappear into the pantry and sighed. Mike's death had turned their lives upside down, but she hadn't been so caught up in her grief as to be unaware of what was happening in the house. Despite his words, her son was not okay.  "Things” were not okay.  As if losing his grandfather hadn't been bad enough, Charlie had been upset for weeks, ever since Jack began taking Daniel to Cheyenne Mountain. 

She had no idea what went on in that Mountain.  Like most of Jack's career, his work there was classified and she knew better than to ask questions because he wouldn't be able to answer them. 

When he was younger, Charlie had often begged his father to take him to work.  As he grew older, he came to understand that what his father did was a secret that only a few people in the military knew about.  Jack had made it clear civilians weren't allowed where he worked - a rule that remained in effect for this latest posting - and, though disappointed, Charlie had learned to accept the prohibition. 

All that changed when Daniel began accompanying Jack to Cheyenne Mountain. 

Sara couldn't fathom why Jack took Daniel to the base with him.  What on earth could a ten-year-old boy contribute to a top-secret military program? Her best guess was that it had something to do with Daniel's ability to speak fluent Arabic. Even that was just a guess. The reality was she had no clue, and neither Jack nor Daniel offered so much as a hint. 

“Mom?  Where are the plastic forks and stuff?” 

Sara looked toward the pantry where she glimpsed her son rummaging through the lower shelves. 

“I moved them up by the condiments, honey, when I was cleaning the pantry last weekend.” 

“Got 'em.” 

He emerged with his arms loaded with paper plates, plastic cups and utensils and bottles of catsup and pickles balanced precariously on top. 

“Charlie!”  She snatched off the teetering bottles and he grinned at her.  It was his familiar mischievous grin that Sara hadn't seen recently, and her heart swelled in gratitude at the sight. 

“I'd a caught 'em, Mom, honest.”

“Sure you would've.  You didn't need to bring it all out in one trip, you know.” 

It was an old argument and his grin widened.  Without warning he dumped the entire load on the counter.  Before she had a chance to reprimand him, he asked, 

“So what's been keeping Dad at the Mountain so much lately?”  

Sara's mild irritation vanished at Charlie's elaborate unconcern.  She was careful to keep any hint of sympathy out of her voice. 

“I don't know.  I'm afraid only Dad and Daniel know and they can't tell us.” 

“You don't know either?  That's not fair!” A scowl darkened his normally sunny features.   

Startled by this transformation, Sara spoke carefully.  “Charlie, you know your father's work is classified.  He can't talk about it, not even with us.” 

“If it's so classified why is Daniel a part of it?  He's younger than me but he knows all about it and he's going to the Mountain with Dad every weekend, and Dad's spending all of his time with him - ” 

“Charlie,” she started.  

Charlie was in no mood to listen. He grabbed the paper plates and stormed by her, shoving the back door open and stomping outside. 

Sara looked after him in dismay.  She couldn't blame her son for not understanding.  She didn't understand it either, not any of it. What concerned her most was how Charlie was reacting to Daniel, the newcomer who seemed to be taking his father away from him. 

Moving over to the kitchen window, she looked out to see Charlie sitting at the picnic table, the paper plates in a heap in front of him.  He had his back to her, staring into the setting sun. 

The sight of his slumped shoulders made Sara's eyes sting.  I'll talk to him, she promised her son silently. 

When Jack and Daniel burst into the house ten minutes later, she realized serious conversation would have to wait. 

If Sara didn't know better, she would have thought her husband was drunk.  High spirits were nothing new for Jack, but she had never seen him so close to being off-the-wall with excitement and jubilation. 

Jack handed a bag containing the promised ice cream, from Anderson's no less, to Charlie, who had just come back inside. "This is for later,” he proclaimed.  “Right now, come on everyone, get ready! We're going to El Charros. Daniel did something amazing at work today and we're going out to celebrate!” 

Sara looked from Jack to Daniel and smiled. "I set up for a picnic outside. I thought we'd throw some hotdogs on the grill..."  

"Forget hotdogs. We're going out," Jack insisted.     

"Okay," Sara agreed, not wanting to dampen her husband's over-the-top enthusiasm.  

For his part, Daniel glanced at Charlie and cringed.  The excitement that had carried him through the day evaporated as though it had never been. As much as he enjoyed Jack's vocal praise at work, he wished it ended when they left the Mountain. It made Charlie mad.  

"I could do something amazing at your work too, but you never take me," Charlie said with an uncharacteristic whine.  

"Nope, you couldn't do this, buddy," Jack said confidently. 

When Charlie glared at him and stuck out his tongue like a three-year-old, Daniel figured his days in the O'Neill household were numbered.  No foster kid ever won out over a real kid. Not once, not ever, and he, Daniel Jackson, was certainly not special enough to be the exception. It was always best to stay under the radar but Jack was making that impossible.   

Daniel decided to test a change in strategy. "Instead of El Charros, maybe we could go to Ted's.”  Ted's was a hotdog place and Charlie's favorite. Maybe Charlie would appreciate his effort.  

"Wherever you want." Jack's fingers lightly tousled Daniel's hair before he jerked his head away. Charlie would certainly not like Jack ruffling his hair. That was definitely a 'real' kid thing.  

"Why'd you have to pick my place?" Charlie huffed irritably in Daniel's ear. "Can't you pick your own place?" 

So much for appreciated efforts.  

The mystery surrounding Jack's Stargate had been figured out, Sara was working double shifts, and Charlie had moved from indifference to dislike. For an orphan, things were moving along at a predictable pace, or as they said at the Mountain... SOP. 

Daniel sighed and wondered if he should secretly begin packing. "I guess we should stick with El Charros," he decided without much enthusiasm.  

Eating at El Charros was usually a treat all of the O'Neills enjoyed. Tonight was not one of those times.  Charlie was unusually quiet and even when his mother or father asked him a direct question, he responded in monosyllables.  After about fifteen minutes of this behavior, Jack looked at his son with narrowed eyes.  Sara coughed and when her husband looked up, she shook her head slightly.  His lips tightened then relaxed, and he addressed his next comment to Daniel.  But Daniel was as quiet as Charlie, so Jack had to fall back on conversation with Sara. 

Unfortunately, Sara wasn't able to give her husband the attention he hoped for.  More than the silence, it was the tension between the boys that worried her.  As much as she wanted to bring the tension out into the open, a public venue was not the place to do it.  Besides, Sara didn't want to drag Daniel into this.  She knew what was really going on here and as she munched down the last of her black bean burrito, she made up her mind there would be no more tiptoeing around the problem.   

Sara was grateful when Jack called an early end to the meal.  Tonight she was going to confront the two guys who meant everything to her, but who were both capable of frustrating her as no one else in the world could.  No more, she vowed. 

The opportunity for confrontation came quicker than expected.  No sooner had they returned home when Daniel disappeared into his bedroom with a muttered explanation about needing to do his homework.  Sara didn't miss the resentful look her son threw after him, which only increased her determination. 

“Charlie,” she said on impulse, “would you take out the garbage, please?” 

He had taken the first step up the stairs and paused to look at her in surprise.  “But it's not Thursday night.” 

“I know, but there's more garbage than usual and I want to get it out of here now.” 

He sighed but made no further protests.  Sara watched as Charlie disappeared into the kitchen. She threw a look toward the living room but saw no sign of her husband.  If Jack had gone into his office she'd have to wait until he came out to talk to him.  Or maybe he'd gone out to the garage to work on one of his numerous projects that he never had time to finish.  If he'd retreated there, then he needed some space. 

It was Sara's turn to sigh.  She had one of her quarry in her sights.  She had better tackle him while she could. 

Sara caught up to Charlie behind the house.  He was just emptying the kitchen trash into one of the garbage cans.  Thanks to the outside lights, she had no difficulty seeing the doubtful expression he turned on her when she approached. 

“I think I missed something, Mom.  There was hardly any trash.” 

“I exaggerated a bit,” Sara admitted with a smile.  “I need to talk to you.” 

Charlie looked around.  “Out here?” 

“Well, I didn't originally plan it this way, but here's as good as anywhere.”   

She had debated several possible openings on the way home from the restaurant.  She hoped she had chosen the right one. “I know you and Daniel have had a lot of adjusting to do and I've tried to stay out of it, but after seeing what happened tonight I can't stay out of it anymore.”  

When she began speaking, Charlie's smiling, open expression transformed to a stiff, guarded look. She and Jack had definitely let this go on for too long. 

“We didn't realize how hard this was going to be on you, and for that I'm very sorry, honey.” 

Charlie's eyes fell and he began digging a hole in the ground with one sneakered toe.  “Not your fault,” he muttered. 

“Yes it is,” Sara returned, “because this was my idea in the first place.”  She hesitated, swallowed, and forged ahead.  “I didn't realize we were going to lose Grandpa, and I know how much that hurt you, how sad it made you.” 

Charlie's shoulders hunched slightly and she swallowed again.  As much as she wanted to take her son in her arms, she resisted because she could tell he wasn't ready to accept it.  

“And then there was Daniel's, um, special abilities that the military needed, so he ended up going to Cheyenne Mountain with your father and that threw another wrench into the mix.  And Daniel himself - ” she closed her eyes as the memory of Daniel's tragic loss swept over her. 

If only she could help Charlie understand.  Despite his reckless, impulsive streak, he had a kind and caring heart.  If he understood what Daniel had gone through, what the younger boy was still struggling with...  

Sara had explained briefly when she had first talked to her son about bringing Daniel into their home.  Now she realized she hadn't gone far enough.  She hesitated searching for the right words and Charlie jumped into the momentary silence. 

“He doesn't like us,” he blurted out. 

“That's not true!” 

“Yes it is!” Charlie said hotly.  “Whenever he's home, he never wants to do anything with anyone, not you, not Dad, not me.  He just wants to stay in his room all by himself.  If that isn't proof I don't know what is!” 

“Honey, it's more complicated than that.” Sara stared at her son in consternation.   

“I don't know why.  He's the same way at school.  I've asked him and asked him if he wants to play with me and the guys or do stuff with us after school and he always says no.  He doesn't like sports, he doesn't like my friends, he doesn't like anything I like.”  Charlie's chin quivered and firmed again.  “He doesn't like me! That's okay 'cause he's nothing like me and I'm glad!” 

Damn damn damn!  She hadn't realized how badly things had deteriorated.  This was her fault, hers and Jack's.   

“Charlie,” she started again, more firmly this time.  “The fact is you and Daniel are a lot a like.” 

“No - ” 

“Don't interrupt!” Sara snapped.  She rarely used that tone with her son and he stopped in mid-flow, blinking at her, so she hurried on. 

“You're both good and honest and caring, but that's not the real issue here.  I know Daniel is often distant and hard to talk to, but it's not because he doesn't like us.”  She paused but her son's mutinous expression told her he was not even close to being convinced.  Taking a deep breath, Sara went on. 

“Charlie, do you remember how badly it hurt when Grandpa died?”  

In an instant, her son's anger vanished and she saw the still-fresh pain of loss reflected in his dark eyes.  Tenderly she stroked his cheek before continuing. 

“I know it still hurts.  I still hurt, too, and so does Dad.  The good thing is we have each other and we can help each other with our pain.  Remember how Dad talked to you when you were feeling so sad but you couldn't cry?” 

Charlie nodded silently and sniffed.  So did Sara, but she pushed on.  “What if something happened to dad and I and you were left all alone with no one who loved you or understood you?  That's what happened to Daniel.  He grew up in Egypt, that was his home, where all his friends lived, then he came to this country when he was eight years old, only to lose his parents in a tragic accident.  He was left all alone in a strange country with no one who loved him.  He ended up in the foster care system and has gone from one foster home to another, never staying in one place for any length of time.  If he ever dared to care about someone, all that ended when he was sent to a different foster home.  

“He's distant with us not because he doesn't like us but because he's afraid that he's going to have to leave eventually and it'll hurt less if he hasn't become attached to us. Is it any wonder he's still clinging to his old life? Is it any wonder he's resisting being a part of this family?  He's afraid it won't last.” 

“He doesn't have anyone at all?” Charlie whispered, eyes wide with disbelief. 

Sara put her hands on his slim shoulders.  “Daniel has us, Charlie,” she said quietly.  “But he doesn't believe it yet.  Once he begins to believe it, he'll start to relax and not be so distant.  He's been grieving for his parents for a long time, all by himself.  He doesn't understand that we're his family now and no one's going to take him away from us.” 

She straightened but kept her hands on his shoulders.  “I don't expect things to improve overnight, honey.  It's going to take time, for Daniel and for us.  I'm asking that you remember what I've said tonight and that you give Daniel a chance.” 

When Charlie opened his mouth she quickly added, “I know you've given him lots of chances, but I'm asking that you give him more, as many as he needs until he finally realizes that this is his home and we are his family.   

Looking down into that much-loved face, Sara sighed.  “I realize I'm asking a lot, sweetheart, but I think it's easier for you to reach out to him than for Daniel to reach out to you, or to any of us.  It's not because he doesn't want to but because he's afraid to.  Can you remember that?” 

Charlie chewed his lower lip thoughtfully.  Finally, he said hesitantly, “I'll try.” 

Sara smiled and gave him a big hug.  Her son endured it for a good ten seconds before squirming free. 

“Thank you, honey,” she said. 

“Okay,” he returned and then glanced at the garage.  “Dad's working out there.  Can I go see what he's doing?” 

“Go ahead, but - ” 

“I know,” Charlie interrupted with a laugh.  “If he growls I get out of there.” 

Sara laughed, too, and watched while Charlie ran down the path to the side door.  He knocked, then opened it a crack and peered in.  She couldn't hear Jack's voice from where she was standing but clearly he wasn't growling tonight because Charlie vanished into the garage. 

She stood still for a moment longer, enjoying the cool air and clear moonlit night.  Sara knew her son's caring nature and she knew he was a boy of his word.  He would keep trying.  They would all keep trying.  And one day, she hoped, Daniel would open the door to his heart and let them inside. 

Smiling at her whimsical thoughts, Sara turned back to the house.  She hoped her conversation with her husband when they were in bed tonight would go as well as this one had. 

Unfortunately, Jack got a call from Cheyenne Mountain a half hour later and he had to go back up there.  Watching him drive away down the street, Sara sighed to herself.  No, this wouldn't be the night to talk to her husband about Daniel and Charlie.  But soon, she promised. 
 

Chapter 11 
 

The next day Daniel felt like he was sleepwalking through his classes.  It wasn't that they were more boring than usual, he just hadn't had much sleep.  After returning from El Charros, he had retreated to his bedroom.  His homework had taken up only a brief part of the evening, leaving him free to wonder how soon he should begin packing. 

There were only a few days left in the school year, and as Daniel walked across the school yard during lunch, he wasn't sure if he was glad or sorry.  Sixth grade had been fully as boring as he had expected, but there had been some things he liked about this school.  Like the Chess Club.  He regretted the Chess Club's last meeting of the year was tomorrow.  He liked Mr. Connors and, with his continued success at the tournaments, some of the other kids were actually warming up to him.  Of course, there were still those kids who resented his skill, but Daniel tried not to think about them.  Overall, he enjoyed being in the Chess Club, even for such a short time.  He was sad that it was all coming to an end. 

With the way things were going at home - at the O'Neills, he quickly corrected himself, after that strained meal at El Charros last night - Daniel didn't think he'd be around in September when school started up again.  Of course, he hadn't expected he would be, not really.  He had known from the beginning this was a temporary situation.  Sometimes it was harder to remember than at other times, but it was still true.   

Despite all the reminders, there was one thing Daniel hadn't been able to shrug off or talk himself into ignoring - that night Sara had come to his room and told him she loved him. 

His throat tightened at the memory and he cleared it noisily.  He couldn't - he cleared his throat again - he couldn't lean on Sara's words.  Even if she had really meant it - she wouldn't have said it if she didn't mean it, would she? ...she had more to consider than just him.  She had to think about Jack and Charlie.  They would always come first for Sara.  He understood that, he really did. 

He had promised not to allow himself to get too involved and care too much about the O'Neills, and maybe he hadn't been as successful with that as he had hoped, but it didn't matter.  It was no big deal.  It really wasn't.  Been there, done that and all that. 

He would miss Karen. 

The thought slipped through his defenses before he could stop it.  Karen had been a good friend.  She was quick and smart and he had enjoyed sharing his lunches with her behind the administration building.  From Karen, Daniel had learned things about America's history, and she had enjoyed learning about the ancient civilizations that were closest to his heart. 

Yes, he thought sadly, he would miss her. 

At least there were a few more days of school, a few more days they could share their lunches and their favorite hobby horses.  With a quick glance at his watch, Daniel increased his pace.  He didn't want to keep Karen waiting.  

Walking toward their secret meeting place, Daniel noticed Charlie coming off the field in his general direction.  For an instant he wondered - hoped - that the other boy might invite him over to join the group.  Charlie hadn't suggested that since Daniel's first week of school.  But then, Daniel thought guiltily, he had made it clear to Charlie that he wasn't interested in playing with him. 

Daniel wasn't any better at sports now than he had been on the day school started.  Did he really want to subject himself to the ridicule of the other boys over his ignorance?  No, he didn't.  Still, he wished he had been a little less abrupt with his foster brother when Charlie had first suggested it.  

Daniel's hopes were dashed when Charlie veered off toward the P.E. wing.  Sighing, Daniel turned away, then slowed down in surprise at the sight of Karen standing by the benches.  What was she doing out here?  They had agreed -  

Daniel's mouth went dry when he saw that she wasn't alone.  That girl from math class, Sally, no, Susie, was with her.  But it wasn't the sight of Susie that made his heart pound erratically. 

Tommy, the troublemaker, was there, along with the three boys who followed him everywhere, Tommy's “gang,” as Charlie had so derisively called them.  The boys had the two girls surrounded and though Daniel couldn't hear their conversation, his instincts were shouting out a warning. 

Unfortunately, Daniel had a couple of minor brushes with Tommy in the past, nothing serious but enough to convince him, as if he needed convincing, that Tommy and his buddies were bad news.  Despite that knowledge, his feet were taking him directly toward the little group. 

Daniel hurried forward, ignoring the small voice in his head telling him that this was a bad idea.  It was one thing to be scornful about Tommy and his gang when Charlie, who didn't seem to be afraid of anything, was with him.  It was an entirely different matter facing the bully and his followers on his own.  Then again, if Tommy was bothering Karen and Susie, what choice did he have but to try to help? 

As he drew nearer, he heard Tommy's words - “... or just stupid in those classes?” 

“Karen's not stupid!” Susie said hotly. 

“N- n- n- no, IIII'm nnnnot!” Karen snapped, her cheeks flushed. 

Tommy laughed, an ugly sound, and his gang joined in. 

Unaccustomed anger stirred in Daniel and he quickened his pace.  “Hi,” he said with forced brightness. 

Tommy spun around.  Beyond him, Daniel saw Karen's expression of relief when she caught sight of him, and his anger burned higher toward the boys who had frightened his friend.  He forced down his feelings.  Anger wasn't going to help the situation.  He was one against four and the only way out was to calm things down.  

“Well, well, look who's here,” Tommy sneered.  “King of the loser geeks.”  He looked around at the other boys.  “Guess we must'a interrupted a loser convention!” 

He and his gang chortled loudly over the witticism while Daniel gritted his teeth.  Stay cool, he warned himself.  Don't let them get to you. 

Feeding on the other boys' laughter, Tommy continued in the same vein.  “I hear your parents were real losers, too,” he scoffed. 

All thoughts of peaceful resolution disappeared as Daniel stared at the boy in disbelief.  Tommy couldn't know... 

Tommy glanced at his eager followers.  “They were so stupid,” he went on in a loud voice, “they couldn't even get out from under the rock that fell on them!”  An ugly grin stretched wide across his face as his gaze returned to a frozen Daniel. 

“They must'a been squashed flat!” 

Pure, unthinking fury swept over Daniel as he started toward that sneering grin.  Then suddenly he wasn't moving and that realization broke through the haze of rage that tinted his vision red. 

Blinking, Daniel realized something was gripping his arm and when he turned his head he found Charlie standing beside him.  

Daniel stared at him and Charlie gave him a faint smile.  The glint in his foster brother's eyes looked familiar.  It was the same expression Daniel had seen in Jack's eyes as he faced down the angry scientists.  

Charlie winked at him before releasing his arm and looking at Tommy. 

“Is this the best you can do, Carmichael?” he taunted.  “It takes four of you to bully two little girls?  You afraid they'll be too much for you?” 

“You're full of shit, O'Neill.” Tommy's eyes narrowed and he swelled with anger.   

Charlie laughed and shook his head.  “That's so pathetic.  You think you're hot stuff 'cause you know a couple bad words?  You don't know anything.” 

The bigger boy took a step toward him, his fists clenched.  “I know we can wipe up this whole damn yard with you.  Or are you stupid enough to think you can take us all on and win?” 

No, Daniel didn't think that at all, but he knew better than to say so.   

Charlie remained calm beside him.  “I don't care about the others," he said coolly.  "It's you I'll go after, you I'll beat the crap out of.” 

The bigger boy blinked in surprise.  He looked at his confederates and back at Charlie.  Watching closely, Daniel saw a brief but unmistakable look of apprehension cross the heavy features.  The truth burst over him like a blinding flash of light. 

Tommy was afraid. 

Charlie's threat frightened him. 

He didn't want to admit it, didn't want to lose face. 

But he was afraid. 

Daniel's mind spun with frantic speed.  He needed to figure out a way for Tommy to back down while saving face.  This could all end peacefully if he could come up with the right words to defuse all the emotion. 

“The bell's going to ring pretty soon,” he said quietly, “and we're all going to look pretty obvious standing out here when everyone else goes back inside.  The teachers are going to come after us.  I don't know about you but I don't want to get in trouble.” 

Tommy snorted derisively and Daniel's hope grew stronger.  If the other boy would only pick up on the hint... 

“Poor baby,” Tommy sneered, “afraid of getting into trouble.  Like I give a shit about that.”  He glanced at his followers again.  “Come on, we've got better things to do than waste our time on babies.” 

They began to move away en masse.  Not until they were out of hearing range did Daniel dare to draw in a deep breath of relief.  When he realized Charlie was eyeing him with an odd expression, his heart, which had just resumed beating at its normal rhythm, sank. 

“I... I wanted to distract them,” he said haltingly.  He had been so focused on trying to divert Tommy from his intentions he had forgotten about Charlie.  Would Charlie think he was a coward, too? 

After a moment Charlie nodded and a small smile curved his lips.  “It's a popular tactic in military maneuvers.” 

“It is?” 

“Yeah.  You should hear my dad's stories.  He's got some great ones.”  He looked after the junior gang, then back to Daniel.  “That was good thinking.” 

Daniel glanced down, acutely aware of the rising heat in his face.  Blushing - how babyish was that?  But Charlie's praise warmed him. 

He looked after Tommy and his buddies and the enormity of what had almost happened hit him hard.  Daniel turned to the girls and was startled to see both of them glaring at him.  He took an unconscious step backward. 

“What - what's wrong?” he stammered. 

“Llllittle ggirls!” Karen snapped in a scathing tone. 

She turned and stomped off, followed by Susie who looked equally furious.  Daniel stared after them, uncomprehending, then looked at Charlie who returned his gaze, also open-mouthed. 

“What... I mean what was that about?” Charlie demanded. 

“I have no idea.” Daniel shook his head slowly.   

“They could've at least said thanks,” he said indignantly. Charlie looked after the girls again and snorted. 

“Were they mad at us or at Tommy?” Daniel asked, still shaking his head.   

Charlie chewed his lower lip as he reflected. “I think,” he said finally, “they were mad at all of us.” 

“But why us?  We stopped Tommy from bothering them.” 

It was Charlie's turn to shake his head.  “Beats me.”  He glanced over his shoulder in the direction Tommy and his friends had gone.  “I think we're gonna need to keep an extra eye out for awhile.” 

Daniel followed the direction of Charlie's gaze and swallowed.  How permanent would his distraction be?  “Tommy was awfully mad,” he recalled. 

“Yeah.  And he doesn't like being crossed.  At least that's what everyone says.” 

“I hope everybody's wrong.” A small shiver ran through Daniel.   

Charlie nodded.  “Me too.  I don't mind facing Tommy one on one but all of them together could be a problem.” 

That was an understatement. Daniel was amazed at how much Charlie sounded like his father.  

For the last few minutes, he and Charlie had been working together, for one purpose. It felt good knowing Charlie was on his side.  Seeing the other boy's eyes widen made Daniel wonder if Charlie was thinking the same thing.  That was probably just wishful thinking, he decided. But it was still a nice thought. 

Charlie straightened and turned.  So did Daniel when he heard Charlie's name being called.  There were several boys standing out on the athletic field and one of them was waving a bat in their, no, in Charlie's, direction. 

“Oh!” Charlie exclaimed.  “I told them I'd be right back.” 

Daniel's stomach sank as he saw the friendliness drain from his foster brother's expression. 

“I'll see you later,” Charlie said, turning abruptly and walking away. 

Daniel looked after him, trying to ignore the growing lump in his throat.  During those few minutes they had been united in a common goal and Daniel had felt... accepted. 

It was stupid.  He knew better, he really did, especially considering how mad Charlie had been last night.  Now that Daniel thought about it, he was impressed the older boy had still come to his aid. Ultimately, it didn't matter. Soon Jack and Sara would admit it wasn't working out, he wasn't working out, and he would end up back at the Home.  That's how it always worked out for Daniel Jackson. In the end, this would be more of the same. 

His eyes burned at the thought and he gave them a furtive swipe.  What was the matter with him?  He'd known from the beginning how the story would end.  Why did he care whether Charlie accepted him?  Charlie would never accept him.  Charlie was the 'real' kid in this family and, even though he was nicer than most of the other kids Daniel had met in his prior placements, he still had to resent Daniel taking up so much of his parents' time. 

Daniel was positive Charlie resented the fact that he, the foster kid, went to Cheyenne Mountain with Jack.  Charlie had made it obvious and Daniel was only surprised that Jack and Sara didn't seem aware of it. That was the part that didn't make sense.  He had been living with the O'Neill's for a while now and he had quickly picked up on how smart they both were.  It was strange they had missed how upset Charlie was about Jack taking him to work and spending so much time with him. 

Of course, Jack didn't really spend that much time with him at the Mountain.  Apart from driving in together in the morning and driving back together in the evening - and occasionally having lunch together -  Daniel rarely saw Jack during the day.  Daniel spent his time with Captain Carter and the other scientists while Jack was on a whole different floor doing his own work. 

Charlie didn't know any of that.  All he saw was his father and Daniel disappearing together in the morning and coming back together at night. 

All things considered, Daniel was amazed at how restrained Charlie's response had been. 

The deep thoughts left Daniel with little desire or energy to focus on his afternoon classes.  He drifted through one after another, sparing the occasional grateful thought that none of the teachers called on him because his inattention would have been immediately obvious. 

When school ended, Daniel slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed outside.  He didn't look for Charlie.  The older boy was involved in several after-school sports and rarely left the campus until much later.  Besides, Daniel preferred to walk back to the house by himself.  On the few occasions they had walked together, it had been in an awkward and uncomfortable silence. 

As he ducked around groups of chattering students, Daniel winced at the memory of those uncomfortable walks.  He couldn't blame Charlie.  Charlie had tried hard, especially in the beginning. Daniel had been surprised. He wasn't used to foster siblings reaching out to him and he had no idea how to handle it.  So he had fallen back on what he was comfortable with and kept Charlie at arm's length.  

After their confrontation the morning of the memorial service, that had no longer been a problem.  Except for the minimum required politeness when his parents were around, Charlie had stopped reaching out and stopped being friendly, just stopped, period. 

The acute awareness of his own responsibility in Charlie's attitude, sent color rushing into Daniel's face and he was grateful no one was looking at him. 

Once he reached the sidewalk outside the school grounds, he began to relax.  It was unlikely any of the other kids would accost him out here.  By now they would be headed home or to their after-school sports or -  

“Hi, Daniel.” 

Startled, Daniel turned around, and his astonished eyes confirmed what his ears had told him.  Charlie was standing on the sidewalk behind him, looking more uncomfortable than Daniel had ever seen him. 

“Uh, hi,” Daniel answered quietly.  What was Charlie doing here? 

“What, I mean...”  Geesh, Daniel chastised himself.  Get a grip!  He coughed and tried again. “Aren't you going to be late for practice or something?” 

“Not today,” Charlie said briefly.  He glanced over Daniel's head, then down at the ground, then finally looked directly at him.  “I thought, um, maybe we could walk home together.” 

Daniel was tempted to look upwards, too, but despite this out-of-left-field suggestion, he knew the sky wasn't really about to fall. 

“Yeah, well,” he hesitated but there was nothing to say except... “sure, okay.” 

Charlie's head bobbed briefly.  “Okay.” 

They began walking in silence, Daniel acutely aware of the older boy beside him.  Why was Charlie doing this?  Did he want to talk about something?  Daniel couldn't imagine what that might be.  Since their argument the morning of the memorial service, Charlie had spoken to him as little as possible.  Until today.  Maybe that was it.  Maybe he expected a word of appreciation for being willing to get involved in the altercation with Tommy and his gang.  That was probably it.  Except, wanting to be thanked didn't seem like Charlie's style. 

Daniel's thoughts raced around faster than a hamster on a wheel.  The low-grade headache that had bothered him all day suddenly seemed worse. What did Charlie want?  And more importantly, what was expected of him?  He definitely hadn't expressed any thanks for this afternoon's timely intervention and it certainly wouldn't hurt to express some gratitude now.  Maybe then Charlie would shed some light on why they were walking home together. 

“I, uh, I don't think I said thanks before,” Daniel finally got out. 

Charlie looked at him blankly before his expression cleared and he waved a dismissive hand.  “It was no big deal,” he said casually.  “My dad's told me more than once that bullies are usually cowards underneath.  I figured this was a good time to find out about Tommy.” 

Daniel couldn't resist asking, “What if it hadn't been true?  What if Tommy hadn't backed down?” 

A cheerful grin stretched wide across Charlie's face.  “Then they would've beat the crap out of me, but not before I got Tommy.” 

Daniel marveled at Charlie's good humor.  He couldn't imagine facing such a possibility with the older boy's easy equanimity.  He and Charlie were so different. 

“I don't think I could've done that.”  The words slipped out before Daniel had time to stop them.  Charlie gave him a considering look and shrugged. 

“Maybe you could've.  My dad says we never know what we can really do until our backs are against the wall.” 

Yep, that sounded like something Jack would say and it made Daniel smile.  “Your dad says lots of things.”  Not until he heard his words out loud did he realize how easily they could be misunderstood. 

“Uh,” he said hastily, “I didn't mean - ” 

Charlie laughed and looked more relaxed.  “Yeah, he does, and I like listening to him.  Not just his stories, those are great, but he's really smart, too. I guess he's learned a lot during his years in the Air Force, and - ” Charlie paused to look around.  So did Daniel but no one was in earshot. Charlie lowered his voice. 

“ - and other military stuff he can't talk about.” 

“If he can't talk about it,” Daniel said curiously, “how do you know about it?” 

“I don't, not really.  I just know he's done stuff in the Air Force that he can't talk about.” 

Okay, now Daniel was confused.  Charlie's words seemed lacking in logic or maybe Daniel was missing something because of his headache. 

“You know, that was a pretty gutsy thing you did,” Charlie said unexpectedly. 

Gutsy?  That was a new word to Daniel and it sounded pretty unpleasant.  Except Charlie was using it like it was a compliment. 

“What's that?” he asked cautiously. 

“I was walking off the athletic field,” Charlie explained, “when I saw you go after Tommy.” 

“I didn't really,” Daniel said honestly.  “But he was bothering Karen.  I mean, I could see she was upset and I, well, I - ” He wasn't sure how to finish the sentence because, now that he looked back on it, he wasn't clear on what he had been trying to do.  He hadn't been trying to pick a fight, he was sure of that much. 

“You were looking out for her six.” 

Daniel blinked at Charlie who smiled proudly.  “That's something else I learned from my dad, that in the military you always look out for your teammates.” 

Not for the first time, Daniel thought how hard it was to keep up with Charlie. “What does six have to do with it?” He hoped he wouldn't regret asking.  

“That's what it's called,” Charlie explained.  “Keeping an eye out for anything behind you, watching your teammate's back.” 

So where did six - ? No, Daniel resisted asking the next logical question.  He had lost the gist of this conversation a few minutes ago and any more questions would only bury him deeper into this illogical quagmire he seemed to have stumbled into. 

“Anyway,” Charlie went on, without any evidence of confusion, “it took guts to face Tommy and his buddies.” 

Daniel shook his head.  “She's my friend,” he said simply. Guts didn't have anything to do with it.  

This time, Charlie's smile was different.  It wasn't so big, it seemed more quiet.  “Yeah,” he said matter-of-factly. 

There was a new note in the older boy's voice.  Daniel couldn't identify it but it gave him a good feeling deep inside.  Despite all of his self-doubts and second-guessing over their encounter with Tommy, Daniel felt comfortable with how he had reacted. Charlie approved of his actions, too, and for some reason, that seemed important.  

With the warm feelings came fresh guilt.  Charlie was taking time away from his beloved sports to walk home with him.  Except, he recalled, Charlie had said there was no practice today. 

“Are sports over for the year?” Daniel asked hesitantly. 

“Over?” Charlie repeated incredulously.  “No, of course not.”  He paused for a second before adding, “You're not into sports, are you?” 

Daniel flushed.  Had his question been that stupid?  “I, uh... I haven't played much.” Not much? Try never. Daniel couldn't quite bring himself to make that damning admission. 

“It's no big deal.  I can teach you.” Charlie flashed his trademark O'Neill grin.   

Fresh warmth stirred in Daniel's heart along with apprehension at the thought.  “Thanks, but I'd hate to take you away from...” Uh-oh. What sports were kids playing these days?  Football?  No, he didn't think that was right.  Wait a minute.  Charlie was playing Little League right now.  Baseball, that was it!  Then he realized Charlie was talking again. 

“Nah, teaching someone else is a good way to go over the fundamentals.”  His grin widened.  “I want to make sure I have those down cold before I go to Fantasy Sports Week Camp.” 

Fantasy Sports Week Camp.  Charlie had mentioned that the first time they'd met and Daniel had heard it discussed around the house several times since then.  This was obviously a big deal for Charlie. 

“You already know all that stuff, don't you?”  

Charlie laughed.  “I hope so, but my dad and I are going to be doing a lot of review as soon as school's over.” 

That explained part of Charlie's excitement.  Daniel was pleased to hear that Jack would be spending extra time with his son.  Maybe that would help lessen some of Charlie's resentment towards him. 

Daniel jumped when two boys riding bicycles raced by, laughing and chattering with each other.  Embarrassed, Daniel glanced at Charlie to see if the other boy was going to laugh at him.  Instead, Charlie was looking after the bicycles with a look of longing. 

Instantly, Daniel's insecurities returned full force.  Did Charlie know those boys?  Did he wish he was riding bikes with them instead of walking with Daniel?  

Before he had a chance to change his expression and hide his anxiety, Charlie glanced at him with a self-conscious smile. 

“I get my bike back in two weeks,” he said unexpectedly.  “I can't wait.” 

Daniel blinked in confusion.  What had he just been worrying about?  Charlie was thinking about something else entirely. When was he going to stop jumping to conclusions? 

This was the first time Charlie had said anything about a bike.  Until now, Daniel assumed the older boy didn't have one, which was stupid.  Just because bikes didn't play a part in Daniel's life didn't mean they weren't part of other boys' lives.  In fact, he had discovered in the last two years of living in this country that a bike was an absolute necessity for a boy Charlie's age. 

Did he dare ask about it?  Charlie's words had definitely peaked his curiosity. 

“Was it broken?” he finally asked. 

Charlie shook his head.  “No,” he said with a big sigh, “my folks took it away from me for two months.” 

Just ahead was a little bridge that crossed over a wide, rapidly-moving creek lined with trees.  Daniel noted absently that they had gone from suburban streets practically into the woods in a matter of a few yards.  He was really interested in hearing what Charlie had done that cost him his bike for two months.  He wanted to ask but resisted the temptation.  A moment later Charlie continued of his own accord. 

“Some of the guys and me watched this movie, 'Back to the Future.' Have you ever seen it?” 

Daniel shook his head and Charlie added, “It's a blast!  We've got to rent it some time so you can watch it.” 

Daniel was thrilled by the casual suggestion but even if he had wanted to respond, Charlie didn't give him a chance. 

“The main guy, Marty, is in high school but he doesn't have a car, so he goes everywhere on a skateboard.  Except he's really sharp about finding ways to go fast.  There's this one scene where he grabs the back of a truck while he's riding his skateboard.  It was so cool!”  Charlie's grin stretched from ear to ear. 

“Anyways, I was riding my bike the next day and there was this truck at a stop light.  And I remembered the movie, and I... uh, well...”  His smile dwindled. 

Daniel stared at him, torn between admiration and horror.  “You hitched a ride,” he guessed. 

Charlie gave him a shamefaced grin.  “Yeah.  But we only got half a block before the driver spotted me in his rear view mirror.”  He sighed.  “It was Sergeant Siler, from Cheyenne Mountain.” 

For a second, Daniel was staring so intently he thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skull.  "Sergeant Siler?" He blinked to be sure his eyeballs were still in their sockets. “I've met him.  I think he knows Jack.” 

“Oh, yeah, he knows him.  And me, too.” 

Daniel closed his eyes in silent sympathy.  He didn't need to ask any more questions.  His imagination filled in the blanks all too vividly. 

“After my mom and dad - ” Charlie shuddered, then continued in the tones of someone walking toward a date with the electric chair, “ - finished yelling at me, they grounded me for a month.  And I lost my allowance.  And my bike for two months.  And if I ever pull a stunt like that again,” he went on, sounding strikingly like his father, “I lose my bike permanently and will be grounded until I graduate from college.” 

After a long moment of silence, Daniel said simply, “Wow.” 

He eyed the boy walking beside him with awe.  He had never, not in his entire life, met anyone like Charlie O'Neill.  The older boy was an amazing blend of smarts, compassion, courage, heedless recklessness, and the worst luck of anyone Daniel had ever known.  To have survived such a stunt was amazing by itself.  But to have picked on someone who not only knew him but worked with Jack... that was such colossal bad luck it staggered Daniel. 
 

Chapter 12 
 

As Daniel debated what else, if anything, he should say in response to the bike story, Charlie suddenly stiffened and spun around.  Automatically, Daniel did the same and his throat went dry. 

About twenty feet behind them, Tommy and his buddies were riding their bicycles on the sidewalk.  Daniel had the impression they had been trying to sneak up on them.  The instant the other boys realized they'd been spotted, they began pedaling faster, straight toward them. 

Daniel gaped at the bullies, momentarily frozen in place, then stumbled when Charlie grabbed his arm.  “Come on!” Charlie snapped. 

They had almost reached the other side of the bridge and without hesitation Charlie jumped down to land beside the creek.  The demand in the older boy's voice was too strong to ignore so despite his momentary hesitation Daniel jumped down after him. 

“This way,” Charlie directed as he jogged up the hilly incline paralleling the creek. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Where they can't use their bikes.” 

Daniel opened his mouth to ask what difference that would make but quickly shut it.  Duh, Daniel.  Not being able to use their bikes would slow Tommy and his gang down considerably. 

The higher they climbed, the steeper the incline became. This was more than a little hill.  Behind them they heard frustrated shouts and curses and the sounds spurred both boys to climb faster. 

The exertion made Daniel breathe harder and he was grateful when Charlie stopped for a breather.  

“What - what if they catch us?” Daniel asked, trying to catch his breath. 

Charlie shook his head as he peered down through the trees.  “Four to two are tough enough odds but Tommy had a chain wrapped around his arm, too.  So we better not let them catch us.” 

Tommy had a chain?  Daniel shivered as he thought back to his brief sight of the bully but he didn't remember noticing a chain.  He didn't remember much of anything other than his feeling of surprise when he spotted the boys so close behind them.  Everything had happened so fast - 

Four against two.  They needed help. 

“Come on,” Charlie said again. 

“Wait.  What about stopping at someone's house and asking for help?” 

Charlie gave a quick shake of his head.  “We're on the edge of Franklin Woods.  We either have to go back the way we came - ” he made a face - “except we can't because Tommy's behind us, or else we have to go through the woods.  This is the quickest way through.”  He glanced behind them and then at Daniel. 

“Are you okay to go on now?” 

Daniel straightened with a jerk.  Charlie had been waiting for him?  “I'm fine,” he said and started walking. 

“This way,” Charlie corrected, heading out in a slightly northwestern direction. 

Charlie set a brisk pace, rapid walking interspersed with occasional jogging.  Periodically, he stopped Daniel and stood still, listening.  Daniel listened, too, but all he heard were birds, the occasional frog, and his own harsh breathing. 

Twice Charlie corrected their bearing to keep them moving in a steady northwestern direction.  As much as Daniel wanted to ask questions, he kept his mouth shut.  This was Charlie's home turf, he knew the area and he knew what he was doing, of that, Daniel had no doubt.  After all, Charlie was Jack's son. 

He really wished Jack was here right now. 

Suddenly Charlie gave Daniel a hard shove in the back.  “Run!” 

Daniel broke into a run.  He'd only gotten a few feet when something whistled by his ear. 

“Go!” Charlie shouted. 

Daniel ran blindly straight ahead.  He didn't have time to think, he just ran.  After a minute, his panicked senses caught up with him and he realized Charlie wasn't behind him.  Instantly he slowed down and turned around.  Before he got very far, Charlie burst into view, zigzagging rapidly between the trees. 

“What are you doing?” he yelled as he raced toward him.  “Keep going!” 

Daniel wheeled back around and started forward again.  He heard Charlie right behind him and that awareness spurred him on to go faster. 

The terrain was rising again and, though Daniel didn't mean to slow down, he couldn't help it.  Feeling Charlie at his shoulder helped him to keep going until they finally reached the crest.  Then Charlie caught his arm and pulled him to a stop. 

“Rest a minute,” he panted. 

Daniel gratefully obeyed, resisting the urge to collapse on the ground.  His legs were shaking, he was gasping for breath, his pounding heart felt like it was about to jump right out of his chest, and he was drenched with sweat. 

It seemed like a long time passed before he was able to straighten, and he kept one hand pressed against his aching side.  But his first good look at Charlie made him forget about his misery. 

“What happened to you!” he exclaimed. 

Charlie tenderly fingered the red welt on the right side of his face.  “Ran into a low-hanging tree branch,” he said with a lopsided grin. 

Daniel couldn't believe his foster brother was grinning about it.  It looked like it really hurt.  It could've been worse, he reminded himself as he glanced down the hill.  Charlie followed his gaze. 

“It'll take 'em a while to get here,” he said reassuringly.  “And we'll be long gone before then.” 

“What happened back there?” Daniel wanted to know.  “Did they throw - ” 

“A rock,” Charlie said, no longer smiling.  “If it had hit one of us...” 

He didn't finish the thought.  He didn't have to.  Daniel shivered convulsively. 

“You really think they'll keep coming after us?” 

“They've come this far,” Charlie reminded him.  “Dad always says plan for what could happen, not for what you hope will happen.” 

Daniel tried to smile. “Is that part of military training, too?” 

Charlie laughed. “I don't know if it's military thinking or just Dad's but it's a good idea.”  He looked back the way they had come.  “If Tommy's really pissed, and I'm guessing he is, they'll keep coming and that's what we should plan for.” 

“Plan what?” 

Charlie gave him a long, searching look.  “There're only three of them following us.  I think the fourth one is trying to go around and cut us off.” 

Despite the warmth of the summer day, Daniel suddenly felt chilled.  “Can he do that?” 

“Don't know.”  Charlie glanced around and his eyes narrowed.  “You know, I think...”  He rubbed his jaw as he studied their surroundings.  “The best defense is a good offense.” 

Daniel was surprised by a choke of laughter.  He didn't know which of them was the real king of cliches, Jack or Charlie, but it was a close call either way.  Charlie's grin flashed again but his eyes remained thoughtful. 

“This is the highest point around here.  Since we hold the high ground, it'd be a good place to launch a counter-attack.” 

A counter-attack?  With four against two? 

Daniel knew Charlie had heard a lot of Jack's war stories, but he had no idea how much Charlie had picked up on fighting or military tactics or any of the rest of it.  As for Daniel, he'd take talking over fighting any day.   

“I talked Tommy out of fighting at school,” he said slowly.  “Maybe I could do it again.” 

Charlie immediately shook his head.  “He's already mad and there aren't any grown-ups around to stop him.  If even half of the stories about him are true, he's not going to be satisfied until he's pounded both of us into pulp.” 

Daniel swallowed again.  Okay, talking was out.  Which left... 

“What kind of counter-attack do you have in mind?” he asked. 

Charlie left him and began prowling around, his eyes darting in every direction.  The top of the hill flattened out to become an open, meadow-like area before being swallowed up by the woods again.  Apart from scrub bushes and weeds, it was empty space. 

Daniel glanced down the hill but the other boys weren't visible yet. Charlie's certainty had convinced him they would soon come running out of the woods below, and the awareness was like a hand gripping his throat, making it hard to breathe. 

He walked along the edge of the hill as it curved around, then stopped.  Huh, he hadn't realized that the hill steepened on this side while the ground fell more sharply away down below.  Daniel caught a glimpse of a small but swift-moving creek - wow, he thought in surprise, that had to be a good forty feet down.  He couldn't get a good view of the creek because of a large outcropping of rock half-way down the little cliff that blocked the view. 

Daniel studied the forbiddingly steep little cliff and the beginnings of an idea tickled the edge of his thoughts. 

“Charlie?” he said while still gazing down. 

“Yeah?” came from behind him. 

“They'd have a lot harder time coming up this side of the hill.” 

Charlie was beside him in an instant.  “Huh?  What do you mean?” he demanded as he peered down. 

“This side would be a lot harder to climb, it'd take them a lot longer to get up...” Daniel's voice faded.  Why would Tommy choose to come up this way when all he had to do was follow the same path he and Charlie had taken, right up the other side of the hill? 

Charlie continued to gaze down on the little cliff.  As if to himself, he muttered, “That could work.” 

“What?” Daniel eyed him doubtfully.   

“If we could get them to climb up this side,” Charlie sounded as if he was making it up as he spoke, “I don't think they'd be able to make it all the way up.  Tommy's a big guy but he's no athlete, and neither are the others.”  He glanced over his shoulder at the way they had come then back down the cliff. 

“If they tried coming up this side, we'd have plenty of time to get away,” he ended, beginning to grin. 

Yes, they would, but Daniel's earlier concern remained.   

“Why would they come this way?” he asked.  “Why would they try to climb up the harder way when they've got an easier way, the same way we came up?” 

Charlie looked around, his eyes narrowed and his hands fisted on his hips. Daniel was struck by the resemblance to his father and, illogically, felt more hopeful. 

“There,” Charlie said, pointing at a pile of rocks about ten feet back from the hillside.   

Puzzled, Daniel followed him over to the jumble of stones.  Charlie knelt down and began picking up several of the smaller rocks.  Daniel crouched down beside him and started doing the same. 

“What are we doing?” he said. 

“Ammunition,” Charlie returned, throwing him a grin. 

Daniel looked down at the rocks.  “Charlie,” he said quietly, “I don't want them to catch us but I don't want to hurt them, either.” 

Charlie paused in his rock-gathering to frown at him.  “They're going to hurt us for sure if they catch us,” he snapped. 

Daniel met his irritated gaze without flinching.  “We aren't them,” he said. 

Charlie's frown slowly faded and after a moment he sighed.  “Okay, okay.”  He looked at the rocks he held in the curve of his arm and Daniel could practically hear his mind racing.  Then he smiled. 

“We won't throw the rocks at 'em, just near enough to scare 'em.  That should be enough to get them looking for another way up here.” 

Daniel nodded reluctantly.  He'd seen the trophies in Charlie's room and he'd heard what a great arm he had.  And he saw how fair Charlie always played in his games, even when the other side didn't.  Despite the tension he often felt around his foster brother, Daniel believed Charlie could and would do as he promised. 

No sooner had he agreed than Daniel began having second thoughts.  “I can see if we're throwing rocks at them, they'd want to find another way up.  But why would they try the other side?  It's not only harder to climb but we could still throw rocks down on them.” 

Charlie grinned widely.  “Nope.  First, Tommy will be too pissed to quit.  Second, remember that line of rocks sticking out of the hill?  It not only blocks us from seeing them but it makes it impossible to aim at anyone climbing up there.  They shouldn't have a hard time figuring that out.” 

Daniel thought back to his earlier study of the little cliff and realized Charlie was right.  He glanced at the older boy who had returned to his rock gathering.  Charlie had come up with an entire plan in seconds.  Daniel was impressed. 

“Thanks,” Charlie said unexpectedly. 

“For what?” 

Charlie laughed.  “You came up with the original idea, remember?  I just added some tactics to get them to do what we wanted.” 

Warmth flooded through Daniel at the words and at the sight of his foster brother. Even the bruises on Charlie's face couldn't detract from his indomitable grin. If he had to be in this kind of a mess, he was glad he was in it with Charlie. 

“Did you learn these tactics from your dad's stories?” Daniel asked, grunting as he pulled a large rock away from its neighbors. 

“Not these exactly,” Charlie answered.  He rose carefully and carried his load of rocks over to the edge of the hill where he dropped them in a noisy heap.  “But he's taught me an awful lot.” 

Was that why Charlie seemed so... so unbeatable?  Daniel didn't know, but whatever it was, he wished he had a little bit of it. 

“Here we go,” Charlie exclaimed. 

Daniel tried to ignore the shiver that ran through him as he turned quickly to see Charlie lying flat on the ground, peering down the hill.   

“They're coming?” 

“Three of 'em,” Charlie acknowledged.  “Guess the other one is still trying to circle around in front of us.”  He threw Daniel a wicked grin over his shoulder. 

“But we moved faster than they expected.  I didn't think about it before but there's no way he can get to us now, up here, not unless he circles all the way around through the woods behind us.  That's got to be at least five miles.” 

“So?” 

“So he's out of the picture,” Charlie said firmly.  “It's just these three we have to worry about.” 

Three against two were better odds than four against two, Daniel thought, but not good enough.  After furtively wiping his sweating palms against his jeans, he carried the rocks he'd dug up over to Charlie.  The pile of 'ammunition' they were gathering was growing rapidly. Daniel wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried. 

He stretched out on the ground beside Charlie to peer down the hill.  Though still some distance away, Daniel had no trouble making out Tommy and his followers.  Tommy was in front, stomping rapidly toward the hill, gesticulating wildly.  Though he couldn't make out the words, Daniel could hear Tommy's voice - loud and angry.  He saw the sunlight glint off something metallic wrapped around Tommy's right arm.  That must be the chain Charlie had noticed.  It was nothing more than he had expected but Daniel's heart thumped wildly at the sight. 

He really, really hoped everyone got out of this okay. 

“When do we start throwing rocks?” he asked softly, his fingers closing tightly around the one in his hand. 

“I think...” Charlie drawled out the word as he studied the approaching boys.  “Wait until they're half-way up the hill.  It'll be harder for them to dodge than if they're on flat ground.” 

“Do you think Tommy will be expecting something like this?” 

Charlie laughed derisively.  “Are you kidding?  All Tommy's got is size and meanness.  He's already flunked sixth grade once and the word is he's going to flunk it again this year.” 

Despite the fear that made his hands sweat and his throat tight, Daniel felt a stab of pity for Tommy.  At a previous foster home, one of the 'real' kids had struggled with dyslexia.  When he found out, Daniel went on the Internet to learn more and discovered there were several kinds of learning disabilities. 

Could that be Tommy's real problem?  Some kind of learning disability?  Daniel couldn't imagine flunking a grade.  As bad as it was being stuck in a classroom with kids a lot older, he suspected it would be just as bad being stuck in a class with kids a lot younger - 

“Get ready,” Charlie said in a low voice. 

Yanked from his thoughts, Daniel looked down the hill again.  Tommy had almost reached the mid-way point, with the other two boys close behind.  From this distance, Daniel had no difficulty making out Tommy's expression.  The boy was deeply flushed, as much by rage as by exertion.  Though laboring, Tommy's twisted lips and narrowed eyes were sure signs he wasn't about to give up. 

Despite having a good idea of what would happen if Tommy caught them, Daniel's feelings of pity and regret deepened. 

“We're only throwing near them, not at them, right?” he asked.  Daniel knew the answer but he felt the need for reassurance. 

Charlie shot him a quick sideways glance.  “Just like we agreed,” he said in the same long-suffering tone he sometimes used when Jack or Sara reminded him of something. 

Daniel was relieved and a little surprised to see that Charlie was grinning.  There was a sparkle in his eyes that told Daniel, better than words, that Charlie had everything under control.  At the same time, that sparkle made him inexplicably nervous. 

“Here we go!” Charlie exclaimed, rising to his knees and letting his rock fly. 

The fist-sized rock flew through the air, almost skimming the side of Tommy's head, who yelped in surprise and dropped to the ground. 

With a gulp and a prayer, Daniel threw his rock which fell several feet in front of the other boys.  It was still close enough to jerk them out of their momentary shock and send them face down on the ground. 

With a jubilant yell, Charlie sent a flurry of smaller rocks flying toward the prone figures.  Daniel watched with his heart in his throat but Charlie was as good as his word.  None of the missiles struck any living targets, though they came close enough to make him close his eyes briefly. 

After a minute that seemed a lot longer to Daniel, Charlie ceased the attack and jumped to his feet. 

“You've got thirty seconds to start back down the hill,” he shouted with a mocking laugh.  “If you don't, the rocks are going to start coming a whole hell of a lot closer!” 

Tommy's followers rose to their hands and knees and began crawling back down the hill. Tommy raised his head and cursed them roundly.  Charlie gazed ostentatiously at his watch. 

“Twenty seconds!” he called.  “And just so you know I'm serious - ” he broke off and heaved the rock down the hill. 

For a horrified instant, Daniel was sure it was going to hit Tommy square in the face.  Instead, it flew just over his head, so close that Daniel could swear he saw the boy's hair flutter from the breeze of the rock's passing. 

Still cursing, Tommy turned hastily downhill.  Charlie and Daniel watched while the would-be bullies staggered and stumbled back down the way they had come.  Then a still-grinning Charlie turned to Daniel. 

“If Tommy wasn't pissed before, he sure is now.” 

Daniel blinked incredulously at the note of satisfaction in the older boy's voice.  Now he understood that sparkle in Charlie's eyes.  Charlie was enjoying this! 

He and Charlie were so different, Daniel thought, not for the first time. 

All three boys were down off the slope now and Tommy's fury was clearly audible.  One of the other boys, the redhead, said something and Tommy immediately swung his fist, hitting the boy in the face and knocking him down. 

“Bastard!” Charlie snarled, then raised his voice.  “Who's the loser now, Tommy?” 

“Fuck you!” Tommy screamed. 

Charlie laughed, a clear, mocking sound.  “You're a genuine big-time loser, Carmichael,” he called.  “I can't wait till tomorrow when the whole school finds out what an asshole you really are!” 

“Charlie,” Daniel said uneasily, “What are you doing?” 

“I want to keep him so mad he won't take time to think about what's happening,” Charlie said in a calm tone. “So mad he'll eat nails before he stops trying to find another way up here.  I can't think of a better way to get him to try to climb up the other side of the hill.” 

Climbing up that rugged little cliff still sounded crazy to Daniel.  Would Tommy actually try to do that? 

“You sure he won't just give up?” 

“No way,” Charlie said confidently.  “If I hadn't wound him up, he'd probably just stay down there awhile, figuring we'd take off sooner or later, and then come up after us again.  But right about now, I'm betting he'd be willing to climb Mount Everest if he thought it would help him catch us.” 

Daniel listened while watching the trio at the bottom of the hill.  The boy Tommy had knocked down was on his feet again but he kept his head down and looked thoroughly cowed.   

For the first time since Tommy had started chasing them, Daniel felt real anger.  Over the last two years he had been the object of more than one bully's attention and he was tired of it.  Whatever the reasons behind Tommy's behavior, what the boy was doing was just plain wrong. 

Daniel had never liked violence, didn't like it now.  But if this plan of Charlie's would stop Tommy from bullying other kids, even if only for awhile, then Daniel would do everything he could to help the plan succeed. 

He took a deep breath and tried to think of something to say that would further enrage Tommy.  Despite his gift for languages, name-calling had never been a part of Daniel's vocabulary.  Then he had an idea.  

“Imbecile!” he yelled with his best French accent.  Somehow the word didn't sound so bad in another language.  Maybe that would work with Arabic, too.  “Ghabi!  Stupido!”  No, Spanish was too close to English and as for Arabic, Daniel realized that it didn't matter if Tommy knew the actual meaning, he did.  No matter how wrong Tommy was, he couldn't call the boy names without feeling guilty. 

Beside him, Charlie laughed in astonishment.  “I don't know what you're saying,” he exclaimed, “but it sounds great!  Then he called down a few more old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon epithets that had Daniel wincing. 

“Look,” he noted after a minute. 

With a flurry of his arms and a few choice words of his own, Tommy had sent his followers scurrying off in opposite directions around the foot of the hill. 

“Hah!” Charlie said triumphantly.  “It's working!” 

Daniel hoped his foster brother was right.  Despite his knowledge of languages, he couldn't keep hurling insults at Tommy. Given his own experiences, name calling felt wrong, even if Tommy had started this whole mess.  As Daniel had reminded Charlie a few minutes earlier, they weren't Tommy and certainly didn't want to do or say anything that would link him to the bully. 

“Ah-hah,” Charlie breathed. 

They could hear the faint voice of one of their pursuers.  He was hidden now by the bulk of the hill but they didn't have to wonder long about what he was saying.  Immediately, Tommy headed toward the voice and the redheaded boy followed close behind, still drooping. 

“So how long - ” Daniel stopped because Charlie wasn't standing beside him anymore. 

As soon as Tommy had started toward the cliff side, Charlie darted across the small clearing to stand on the very edge of the little cliff.  He leaned forward - so far forward he was in danger of losing his balance, Daniel thought with a catch in his breath - and cocked his head as he listened.   

“Charlie!” Daniel exclaimed.  “Be careful!” 

Charlie glanced at him and followed the younger boy's gaze down to where he was standing, then he gave Daniel a cocky grin.  

“Plenty of room,” he said reassuringly before turning his attention back to the activity at the bottom of the cliff. 

Daniel moved closer, though he kept a cautious few feet away from the edge.  “Shouldn't we get going?” he asked. 

“Not until we're sure they've climbed up a ways,” Charlie returned, peering down the cliff even though the rock outcropping blocked their view. 

So they waited.  They waited long enough for the breeze to begin to dry the sweat on Daniel's face.  It seemed like they waited for hours, though a look at his watch revealed only five minutes had passed.  Then, faintly but distinctly, they heard grunting and grumbling coming from the other boys, along with the sounds of dislodged rocks rolling down the cliff. Tommy and his followers were on their way up. 

“Okay,” Charlie said as he took a step back from the edge, much to Daniel's relief.  “They're going to be climbing for awhile.  Let's get out of here - ” 

A yell from below interrupted him.  The sounds of something heavy rolling down the steep slope, thumping and thudding and accompanied by yelps and curses, drifted up to them. 

Daniel listened in horror, Charlie with a widening grin.  A loud splash drowned out the other noises and Charlie burst out laughing. 

“He rolled all the way down into the creek!” 

A fresh volley of curses sounded up the little cliff and Charlie doubled over in renewed laughter.  After a minute, he tried to straighten up  “Come on,” he managed, still chortling.  “Let's go home.” 

Daniel peered uneasily over the edge.  “Shouldn't we do something?  You know... to help?” 

“If he has enough energy for all that swearing,” Charlie said, “I'm not going to worry about him.”  He gave Daniel an ear-to-ear grin. 

“How about that!” he exclaimed.  “O'Neill and Jackson, what a team!” 

Daniel couldn't resist Charlie's infectious merriment and traded high-fives with the older boy.  Then, together, they headed for home. 

When they finally reached the sidewalk, having left the woods behind them, an approaching bicyclist came to a screeching halt. 

“Hey, Charlie!  Geez, what happened to you?” 

“Hi, Spencer!” Charlie greeted enthusiastically.  “You'll never guess!” 

Daniel hung back, feeling considerably less enthusiastic.  Spencer was a good friend of Charlie's but he'd never been particularly sociable with Daniel.  The other boy gave him a brief nod that Daniel didn't have time to respond to because Spencer had already turned his attention back to Charlie. 

Charlie resumed walking and Daniel stayed beside him, although he couldn't help wondering if he should go ahead or drop back.  Pedaling slowly, Spencer stayed on Charlie's other side. 

“Come on,” Spencer coaxed, “you know I'm no good at guessing.” 

Charlie grinned. “Okay.  We were walking home and Tommy and his gang came after us." 

Spencer's eyes widened and he gave them a quick look-over.  “Is that how your face got all messed up?” 

Though Daniel would have phrased it differently, Spencer had a point.  The welt on the side of Charlie's face was now surrounded by a multitude of colors. There was no way they were going to be able to keep this quiet.  Sara was a nurse and Jack was... Jack. 

Would they get into trouble? Daniel couldn't see that they could've done anything differently.  Tommy had come after them.  He and Charlie had been trying to keep from getting clobbered.  But grown-ups didn't always think the same way as kids. 

“Nah,” Charlie waved a dismissive hand, “he never laid a hand on us.”  He glanced at Daniel and his grin widened.  “Daniel and I figured out how to submarine him!” 

He burst out laughing again and Spencer joined in.  So did Daniel.  That look from Charlie had been as warm and personal as a slap on the back, and he felt his spirits rising.  'Daniel and I,' Charlie had said, and the approval in that simple phrase filled Daniel with a warmth that had nothing to do with the summer sun.  

Spencer threw him a look of surprised admiration.  “Way to go,” he said with a grin almost as broad as Charlie's. 

Charlie winked at Daniel.  “Well, it's not like I had a choice.  If I'd let anything happen to Daniel, my mom would kill me.” 

He and Spencer laughed loudly but this time Daniel didn't join in.  The acceptance of a moment ago dwindled rapidly.  Sara had told Charlie to look out for him?  Is that what this was all about?  Charlie wanting to please his mom by looking out for the poor orphaned kid... 

Daniel shivered, suddenly cold.  The feelings of warmth and the sense of victory drained away and he was careful to keep his head down so the other boys wouldn't notice his expression.   

Whatever the reasons, Charlie had been willing to risk four to two odds to help him.  That was something, after all.  Actually, that was a lot.  It should be enough.  But he couldn't help wishing Charlie's actions had been inspired by something more than a desire to make Sara happy. 
 

On to Part 3       Back to Part 1

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