HEARD IN PASSING  BY PHOENIX E

"God, Sam. I - I don't know how much more I can take.  His mouth is driving me crazy"

Daniel can't mean what I think he means - I mean, I've only just caught a snatch of what's obviously a very private conversation already in progress in the office I was about to enter.  Happening between my major and the man whose mouth has been driving me crazy. Not to mention some other parts of him as well.  And we're not talking about talking, here.  I'm not, pretty sure he's not - not that that's got anything to do with why I've come here - well, not really - but something in Daniel's voice, the way it comes close to breaking under the strain of something obviously coming close to breaking him…

I think I'll just forget about going in and lurk around outside and listen for a bit, shall I?  It's not listening at the keyhole, the door is open.  If Daniel really wanted the conversation to be private he'd have closed the door.  An open door's the same as an open invitation to eavesdrop.  Besides, I'm only doing this because I'm concerned.  Maybe Daniel didn't feel this was something he could come to me with, but if one of my kids has a problem, I should know about it. Whether he wants to tell me himself or not.  I have to know what's going on, right? Part of the job description.  Besides, Carter might need a little assist.  She means well, she'll try to help Daniel, but maybe this is more than she can handle.

She'd better not try handling it!

Okay, now where the hell did that come from?

So, I'm a bastard.  But I'm a concerned bastard.

"Daniel, I don't know if this is something you should be telling me.  Not - not that what you're feeling is wrong, that's not what I'm saying...ah...oh geez, I suck at this!"

Crap, I'll say!  Come on, Carter, show a little backbone! Daniel's opening up to you, for crying out loud!  Talking about himself and everything!  How often has he ever done that?  This is, like, once in a lifetime stuff!  Don't choke on him and screw it up!

"I'm sorry, Sam.  I don't want you to feel - never - never mind.  Sorry I bothered you.  It's nothing.  Really.  I'll be fine."

No, no, no!  Carter!  Don't let him off the hook!  Listen to him, he's miserable!   Make him give!  I swear - you let him down and I'll boot your ass around the block for the next month!

"No, Daniel, it's not nothing.  I never meant that either.  I'm listening.  I am.  I just don't know what to tell you."

Okay, better, nice save, Carter.  Sounding more supportive. It's too soon for giving advice, though, you need more information.  Go get it. You can do it.  Make him talk.

"Yeah, I guess 'screwed up civilian telling you he's in love with your commanding officer' isn't a scenario covered in the Air Force training manual."

YES!  I - I mean -  Wow.  You don't do anything halfway, do you Daniel? All or nothing.  One of the reasons why I...

Omigawd, what do I...? I've never thought it through this far - never let myself.  I mean - what was the point, not like it was ever going to go anywhere, I mean, how could it?  He's a he and I'm a he, okay, so I've always liked  shes and from everything I've seen so has he, but lately, he's been looking so - so - and he's been looking back and -  and - holy crap!  Daniel just said he LOVED me!

I’m the luckiest rat bastard in the universe.  As well as being the biggest schumck.  Hiding around the corner outside his office listening to him bare his soul like this.  I should be ashamed of myself.

Problem, is I got no shame.  Gave it up for Lent a long time ago.

There's no point in standing out here any longer.  I've heard what I needed to know and there's no way Carter is going to be able to help him with this.  Time for the first team to take over.

I plaster my best 'I don't give a damn and I have no idea what's going on in this room' expression on my face and just barge right on in.  Daniel gives a guilty start as soon as he sees me, but recovers quickly.  Carter, bless her, beams at me with all the desperate gratitude of the condemned prisoner getting the last minute reprieve from the governor.

Don't sweat it, Carter, Jack's here now and he's taking over.

"Jack," Daniel squeaks, his colour starting to run a little high as he gets a good look at me and takes in the pants, the shirt and the JACKET. Leather jacket, to be precise.  I caught him checking me out once when I was wearing this particular ensemble, just like he's looking me over right now.  I wasn't a hundred per cent sure that's what I was seeing at the time; he's so damned good at hiding stuff that really matters to him, stuff he doesn't want anyone else knowing about.  But there it is, the slightly wild, wide-eyed hunger flashing in his eyes and flushing his face just before he ruthlessly strangles it dead and shoves it back down, deep inside.

Too late, Doctor Jackson.  Much too late for that.  I've got your number and I'm calling you on it.  Just as soon as I can get you out of this place and over to mine.

"So Daniel," I grin teasingly at him.  "You ready to go, or what?"

'Ready to…?"  He looks blankly at me, his lovely, luscious mouth hanging slightly open.  Luscious.  Oh yeah.  Damned good word to describe that mouth. Got plans for that mouth.  Big plans.

Oh yeah.

'Oh God," he softly mews, all the colour abruptly draining out of his face.  "It's - it's Friday, isn't it?  Oh God!"  He darts helpless, pleading eyes at Carter.  No joy there, she's focussed on me, looking me over, working a few things out.  Starting to smile.  She's smart.  Too damned smart.

I'm seeing serious blackmail in my future.  Never mind, she can give it a whirl for all the good it will do her.  I'm always prepared.  I've got a few things on her and a certain power-drunk doctor she doesn't know I know about.

Only one person in this room gets to play with fire and if he would only stop panicking, licking those damned gorgeous lips the way he is -  making me NUTS - and go with the program so we can get the hell out of here already -

"Ah, uh, Jack, I know we said we would, I know you were planning, that - that is - ah - I don't think - maybe another time - I've got - I've got all this work - "

Daniel is squirming.  Licking, blushing, squirming. I don't know how someone can look so miserable and so totally edible all at the same time.  I want to kiss his face off.  For starters. As it is, the way he's looking at me is killing me.  Like he's scared to death of being alone in the same room with me.

He's not scared of me; he's scared of him.  Of what he's feeling, feeling like it's something bad, something he should be ashamed of.  Like I'll hate him if he lets it show, if he lets me see it. Like there's no way I could ever want him the same way he wants me.  And he's scared worst of all if I find out his secret I won't like him any more.

Never mind - the other thing...

Been there, Danny, been doing it too.  The very same stinking, self-defeating, self-loathing song and dance.  I know how much it hurts, but I also know neither one of us has to do it any more.  I'll tell you, show you, soon as I can, but you have to trust me, have to come with me.  It's all right, really.  You don't have to do this to yourself, there's no need to feel this bad about yourself and what you're feeling for me.  It's all right.  It's going to be fine.

Trust me.

I cross my arms and put on a full bore pout.  "You mean I rented that crappy movie you said you wanted to watch for nothing?"  I put my all into my best 'hurt little boy' expression. The one that sends the chicks and certain archaeologists into a full 'awww you poor baby' frenzy.  Yeah, I know it's a tactic that's beneath contempt, but it's fun and it works!

I don't know whose eyes are bigger with astonishment, Daniel's or Carter's.  "It has sub-titles, Daniel," I whine, pulling out all the guilt stops.  Shamelessly.  Hey, I've got no pride, either.  Not when it comes to the prospect of Daniel and Mister Happy finally getting the chance to become properly acquainted.

He's been dying to come out and say 'hi' for ages.

"Sub-titles, Daniel," I wheedle some more and roll my eyes imploringly at him.  "Don't make me face them alone."

Carter chokes, grabs Daniel's arm and turns away from me.  She's shaking like she's having trouble breathing or something.  Daniel is so confused it's almost painful to watch.  He doesn't know who to look at, me or her.  He also seems to be the only one in the room who doesn't know the invitation I'm extending has got nothing to do with sub-titles. Despite what he thinks even though he has a fun filled evening ahead of him, odds are he still isn't going to get to see the movie.

As a matter of fact, I can practically guarantee it. Although I'm thinking he won't really mind much, once he sees what I'm offering up as an alternate entertainment option for the evening.

I'm old but I can be pretty entertaining.  If I do say so myself.

"Daniel," Carter says to him when she finally can.  "You should go."  She stares at him intently, her words laden with not very hidden meaning.  She's going to be finding a little something extra in her Christmas stocking from Santa this year.  But seeing as how Christmas is still months away, I'm thinking big bunch of flowers, ASAP, by way of a more timely thank you in the interim.

"Sam!"  Daniel pleads with her desperately, the 'you've got to help me get out of this' look all too plain in his eyes.

"No, Daniel," she shoots back at him, more emphatically, emphasising every word with a marked toss of her head back in my direction.  "You.  Should.  Go."

She says each word clearly.  Separately.  Distinctly. As in work with me, Daniel, you wanted advice, here it is.  Come on Daniel, don't make her draw you a picture. I've seen how she draws. About as well as she sings.

She glares at him, nudges him fiercely, pushing him toward me.  Geez!  What's it gonna take before he clues?  For a bright guy he's awfully - ah - hel-lo!

"I should go," Daniel echoes her stupidly.  Staring at her, not getting it.  Two, three, four…

"OH!  I should GO!"  His eyes open wide with the shock of realisation. Finally!  Houston, we have lift-off!  "I should go.  Really?"  he peers at her for confirmation, understanding and yet not believing.  "R-really?"

"Really," I answer him. I'm not kidding with him now.  This is no joke, not what he's wanting and what I'm telling him he can have. His head snaps around at the tone of my voice.  He sees the look on my face.  There's that mouth, hanging open again.  Lower lip quivering, just slightly, moist and gleaming from all the nervous licking and his face, those eyes - just look at them.  Look at him - oh my God -  Up periscope!

His eyes are shining.  Wow…so is he.  He's not scared. Not now.  Definitely not scared.  More like glowing like a small sun now he understands it's okay and I want him too and he's so relieved, so happy and so freaking gorgeous he's going to burn my eyes right out of their sockets.

I can't stop staring at him. Can't get enough of him.  Can't think, can't move, can't speak.  I'll just stand here and grin at him like a lovesick goon, shall I?  He doesn't seem to mind and I'm not having any problems with it.

"Yeah, well, my job is done here," Carter sings out,  a little too loudly.  What, she's still here? Kinda lost track.  Blue eyes sucking you right in - looking at you with that- that look - kinda, kinda does that to you.

Does a lot of things to you.  My, oh my…

Carter pats Daniel on the arm.  "Time I was going.  Talk to you later, Daniel."  He nods to acknowledge what she's said, but only barely.

"Go home, sir," she hisses across at me as she walks past me.  "Both of you.  Now!"

Home?  Oh, oh yeah, I was just getting around to that.  Good idea, though.  Damned good idea.  Guess we should…

"I guess we should go," Daniel grins shyly at me.

Took the words right out of my mouth, Dannyboy.

He's still giving me shy, furtive glances as he follows me into the house. He's been slipping them to me the whole time we were driving here.  What they're doing to me, let's just say if I don't calm down a bit Daniel might have more of me on his hands - not to mention a few other places - then he knows what to do with.  Besides, I have to keep reminding myself, even though I know we both want the same thing - at least that's what I hoping -  what I don't know is what Daniel means by what he says.

That is - he might love me, might even want me, but does he even know what he wants, or what that means?

I wish I knew what I was talking about.  What am I worrying about? Like that ever stopped me before!

I turn around from hanging up my jacket and he's right there. So close it wouldn't even be a stretch to reach out my tongue and…lick him.  Blue eyes smouldering straight into mine, lighting a fire in me that has to be scorching him right through my chinos.

Whoa.  Seems like I'm not the only one lit here.  Was I thinking something stupid earlier about him being shy?

"So, we're here," Daniel breathes as he - uh - rubs up against me.  Wall's at my back.  Thank god for that.  Hard place behind me, even harder place in front of me invitingly connecting with my hard place.  Oh God, he's so hot!  Not exactly cool, calm and collected myself.

"I love you too."  I don't know what made me say that.  Oh, wait, maybe I do.  Those eyes, that mouth, so close, what am I - what am I -

"What are you waiting for?" he sighs as he brushes his lips against mine.  

Damned if I know. I wrap my arms around him and pull him even closer, drawing him into me.

His tongue darts in between the lips I've opened to him.  All the better to taste me with?  And oh my, he's doing plenty of that, exploring my mouth with the same eagerness to experience possessing him every time he walks through the gate. He's fearless, he's wanton -  he's good, oh God, so good.  Sweet, soft, tender and yet so hot, so wild. So open to every new sensation he's embracing as hungrily as he's holding me.  Licking, thrusting, sighing, laughing, playing with my tongue, tickling the roof of my mouth.

Happy.  He's happy.  I've never seen him so happy.

One kiss and suddenly Danny is looking at me like he could die this very minute and he'd not have a single regret.  Like all he's ever wanted he's gotten in one sweet moment, and I'm the one who's given it to him.

With one little kiss.

And we haven't even gotten to the really interesting stuff yet!  Although from the way he's pushing into me and oh, oh, oh God, what he's doing  - neck - neck!

"So, you want to watch that movie or what?"  I  groan into his ear.  He trembles and clamps both his hands on my butt, hauling me shuddering and shaking into his raging groin as I give the ear a thorough tongue bath.

"I thought you didn't do sub-titles, Jack," he laughs as he starts licking his way over to the other side of my neck and then rocks forward, thrusting me hard up against the wall again.  "Wouldn't you rather do me instead?"

"You asking or offering?"

"Getting desperate, actually," he gasps as he grinds his pelvis into mine yet again by way of illustrating his point.  "What do I have to do, strip off and throw myself at you?"

"It'd save time," I tell him as I grab the back of his head and steer his lovely, lush mouth back up where I can get at it with mine.

"God, I love you," he sighs as our mouths meet once more.  Damn, he feels so good, his warm, soft lips, so smooth, so willing, so wet as they glide over mine.  I could kiss him forever  

Well, I could!.

He moans and opens to me, hot and eager for what I'm giving him.  I dive deeper, fall into steaming, molten sweetness, sucking in his desire, feeling him quake with need as I taste his tongue and feel it slide forward over mine, answering my stroking rhythm with teasing, questing thrusts.  Between the sucking and the tasting and the rubbing and the pounding I'm almost out of my mind and I've still got all my clothes on.

We're about to seriously combust here.  It's just about time to take it on into the bedroom or come right here in the front hall.  Which I suppose we could, certainly very little stopping us, especially if we keep this up for like, one second longer, but Daniel deserves better from me than a quick grope and rub and going off in his underwear. He means more to me than that - means everything to me.  Our first time together, I want him to know how much he means to me.  Besides, there's so much more of him I want to get at.  Like every square inch of skin under those clothes.

Respect and maximum surface area.  Not going to happen in the front hall.  No way.

"Bed."  I mumble around his tongue.

"Where?"  his eyes are glazed; he's almost incoherent with desire.

"Walk this way."

Lips still locked together we roll and stumble and bump our way down the hall.  Not exactly sure who's leading or where we're headed, even,  but wherever we're going, we'll get there at the same time.

Omigawd, omigawd, GOD!  I said I had plans for that mouth but even in my wildest, wettest dreams, most of which lately had a lot to do with the man owning that mouth - slurping somehow never entered into it.

Or - or humming!  He's sliding those incredible lips down me again, going about as far down south as he can manage, and he's sure not whistling Dixie.  I got sparks shooting in front of my eyes as his tongue wraps around me and I feel him sucking me so hard he's going to suck what little's left of my brain right - out -

"Oh God, oh Danny, that's so good, ohhhhhh!"

Too good, too good, and it's too soon, I don't want to, not - not yet.  He's done so much, made me feel so damned good, barely let me touch him - want - want to touch him, feel him…

Make him scream for mercy.

He lifts his head as I moan again, still stroking me with a gentle, reverent hand as he glances over to me. Just look at him.  He's having the time of his life.

Mind you, so far I've been getting the best of this bargain!.  Momma, he's so damned hot! Who knew?  Under all that shyness and seeming insecurity was this incredibly sensuous, playful, totally uninhibited - fucking wonder. All he needed was to be sure of his welcome.

Oh, he's sure all right. Just look at him!  His eyes are black with desire, dancing with triumph.  Smiling, the way he's smiling, so proud of what he's done to me, the way he's reduced a tough, tight-assed, thick-skinned Special Ops colonel to quivering, willing putty in his oh, so talented hands.  Whoa, momma, and let's not forget the mouth.  Love that mouth.  Especially the way he's licking...biting...teasing....

So Danny wants to play does he?  I can play.  Come to poppa, Danny, I'll show you a good time.

Danny gives a small 'whuff' of surprise as I come up off the bed, grab him by the arms and bounce him back down on the mattress beneath me.  He bounces great.  I quickly leap astride him and bounce him again.  This time he giggles.  I like the sound of him laughing a lot.  I got an idea.

I leer at him, waggle my eyebrows until he looks sufficiently worried and then plunge my face into his stomach.  He howls with laughter as I burrow in deep, scrunch around for a bit and then blow a huge raspberry into the slippery, sweaty skin.

He's laughing so hard tears are running down his face,  he's gasping for air as I lift my head up and look at him.  Streaming eyes tightly shut, face screwed up, his head thrown back into the pillow, half buried, glistening chest erratically heaving as he gulps and chokes out gusts of sound.

Which suddenly aren't sounding so much like laughter any more.  They sound more like - ah crap!  They are.  He's - what's wrong?  What have I done?

What's wrong?

I’m feeling like shit as I leap off him and lay down beside him, cupping his cheek, stroking it, wiping away the tears, trying to soothe him.

"What is it Danny?  What's wrong?"

Then he opens his eyes and he's smiling and the look on his face, in his eyes near splits me in two.  If you've never had anyone look at you like you're their whole world - oh God, there is such a thing as heaven on Earth and there he is, right there, smiling just for me.  Whatever I've done, the way Danny's eyes are glowing, the way he's warming me right to the depths of my poor, black soul, it's nothing wrong.

"I'm just so glad you still like me," his voice trembles and a huge tear tumbles from his eye and splashes against my thumb.  "Now that you know - you know how I feel about you."

Now tact is a four letter word which admittedly I don't use as much as a few of the other four letter words I know, but I do know how to spell it, and I have been known to have my moments when I know exactly what to say.

I'm having a moment.  We're having a moment.  What he's just given me, if I do nothing else right in my life he's going to know, right here and now, without a shadow of a doubt, how much he means to me.

"Hey, shouldn't that be the other way around?  Me - being grateful for you? "  I tell him as I hold his face in my hands and let him see everything I'm feeling.  "I'm the lucky one here. So damned lucky I'm still not entirely sure I'm not dreaming all of this.  People like me don't usually have people like you  thinking - "  I feel my voice faltering, struggling to force its way past the huge, honking lump I've suddenly got in my throat.  "Well, thinking I'm worth being with..."

"Jack!" he gasps, his eyes huge and straining with astonished, vehement denial.  "Don't - don't say that, don't think - "

He's trying to say more but he's having a hard time getting the words out what with my tongue in his mouth and all.  His lips fumble against mine, he moans as he tries to talk and then he sighs and just slips right into the kiss as deeply as he's melting into my arms.

We're through talking, no more playing, things are getting serious and so are we. Seriously mental with pleasure and need.  Our mouths merge as one as I shift over on top of him, feel him gasp, groan  and clutch at my back, clawing me as our slicked erections kiss each other hungrily.  He bites my bottom lip and growls and I start moving faster, pressing into him, urging, feeling him beneath me rocking up, hammering hard against me, sobbing as the jolting pleasure wracking him makes him buck faster, frantically, out of control.  Desperately clinging to me, wrapping his long legs around me, kissing me madly.  I can't think, can only feel, moving faster, harder, closer, coming closer,  his deep, rapid, gasping sobs turning into screams, my name, over and over, sweet sounds, sweet screams, the most blessed sounds I've ever heard, he's crying again, arching up into me, mouth gaping, feeling him, shaking, quivering,  hot and wet, shooting liquid fire against my belly, oh God, here we go!

"So do you still want to watch that movie?"

"Do we have to?"  Daniel mumbles sleepily into my chest.  Which he then starts methodically licking as if he's thinking to clear himself off a nice patch to settle his head back down onto.

"No - but I would, if you really want to."

I actually mean what I'm saying.  I'm utterly terrified.  I must be insane, or in love.

Depending on who you talk to, same thing.

"Sub-titles and all?"  Daniel pauses briefly from his licking as he poses the question in a slightly suspicious voice.

"Yep,"  I smile as I nuzzle the top of his head.

"Wow,"  he sighs happily.  "You really do love me!"

"Damn straight,  I don't do sub-titles for anyone but you.  But as long as we're talking give a little, there's this hockey game - "

"Jack, shut up and kiss me."

I can do that.  Hell, who needs sub-titles.  Or hockey.  I've just scored bigtime and I didn't even need a net.  And if he thinks I'm ever letting him get away from me, he's got another thing coming.

As often as this poor old body can manage it.

FINIS