NOCTURNAL ADMISSIONS PART ONE

WARM FUZZIES   BY PHOENIX E

"Mmmmm...whaaa...Jack?"

"Expecting someone else?"

"Uh....what? God, what - what time is it? Jack!  It really is you!  You - you- you're here!   What are you doing here?"

"Geez, Danny, thought I lived here. Something happen to change that while I've been gone?"

"Oh, for - for -  that's not what I mean, I mean what are you doing here, now! I thought you weren't getting back until tomorrow."

"Uh huh. Absent lover arrives home unexpectedly. No cause for concern, unless somebody has something to...hide.  Sounding a little nervous, here, Danny.  You got something to hide? Something you're not telling me?   Should I be checking to see if there's anyone hiding under the bed?"

"Ha ha, very funny, Jack.  That's the first place you'd look.  Try the closet."

"Stop it, stop it, you're killing me.  You're a barrel of laughs at three in the morning, Doctor Jackson."

"God!  Is that what time it is?  No wonder I feel like I just went to bed.  Because I just did.  Half an hour ago.  Argh!"

"Burning the midnight oil again, were we, Daniel?  What's the matter, having trouble sleeping?"

"No!  Of course not.  I - I was...reading.  Lost track of time."

"Uh huh."

"It's a really good book!"

"Is that so?  What's the title, then?  I might want to read it myself."

"Uh...so, I take it the conference wrapped up ahead of schedule.  Seeing as how you're here, now, waking me up in the middle of the night and talking your usual trash instead of having the common courtesy of arriving tomorrow afternoon like you were supposed to thereby letting me get a full night's sleep tonight."

"Hey, don't go all sentimental on me or anything, boyo, you know how I hate mush.  And since when have you ever complained about me waking you up in the middle of the night?"

"Last Tuesday when you slapped my ass at four a.m. and woke me up by nearly scaring me to death."

"That wasn't my fault, my hand was asleep and I had to wake it up somehow."

"I see.  Well, what about last Friday's salad dressing shampoo?"

"I was hungry.  I tripped.  I said I was sorry.  And I promised I won't bring my three a.m. snacks back to bed with me ever again."

"How about last night when you called - "

"All right, all right, you wanna bitch all night or get back to sleep?  Move over, will ya?  Damn, only sleeping alone for three nights and already he's taking up all the room in the bed like I was never even here."

"Shut up and get under the covers.  Were you born in a barn, or something?"

"Getting a little chilly as well as rude? I can soon fix that.  C'mere."

"Hah!  You should talk!  Jack, cut it out.  I need to get back to sleep."

"Just one little kiss.  Come on.  I haven't seen you for three whole days and nights."

"No way.  I know you.  It's never just one with you."

"My word as an officer and a gentleman?"

"Oh yeah, I'm buyin' this one.  Jesus!  Jack!  Your damned feet are freezing."

"You know what they say, Danny.  Cold feet, warm heart."

"That's 'hands', Jack, not feet."

"Well, if you insist..."

"Jack! God !  What did you do, put them in the freezer first? Gad-zooks, you're going to freeze my nuts off!"

"Bet you're wide awake now."

"Only because certain parts of me are in shock!"

"I dunno, seems to me as if they're adapting to changing conditions rather quickly."

"Bastard."

"Ah, pet names.  Getting somewhere, now. Uh...Danny?"

"Jack?"

"What are you wearing?"

"Why?"

"I don't know how to tell you this, but your ass is fuzzy.  Definitely, definitely....fuzzy."

"Oh.  That."

"You've never been fuzzy before, Daniel."

"Well, you weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow."

"And?"

"WellitallstartedwhenyouwentawayforthetwoweekmissionwithSG4lastJanuary..."

"Breathe, Daniel, breathe!  Slow down, for crying out loud!"

"You were gone and it was weird and I was...I was...cold."

"Cold?"

"Yeah!  I was cold!  Wanna make something out of it?"

"Me? Hell no!  Man says he was cold, who am I to say he wasn't?  But what does that have to with him having a fuzzy bottom half he doesn't usually have?"

"Sam said what I needed was a pair of fuzzy jammies. For the....cold.  They'd be nice and warm and make me feel better."

"Jammies?  Sam told  you to wear fuzzy jammies?  And you listened?"

"She's the one who bought them for me."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this!"

"Well, she was right.  I wore them for the rest of the time you were away and I wasn't....cold....once. Then, you were back and I didn't need them."

"Why not?"

"Well, because you were back. I don't get - cold  - when...  I only wear them when you're not here because that's the only time I need them.  To keep warm."

"I see.  You don't get cold when I'm around, then?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't.  Wanna be making something about that, too?"

"Crap, are you ever grouchy when you don't get enough sleep.  Hmmmm. Fuuzzzzyyyy.  Nice and soft.  Damn!  Too bad you haven't worn them when I was around. They feel kinda...nice."

"Oh God, so does that..."

"So, I take it you don't mind where my hands are now?"

"Uh...not now..."

"Warm enough for you, now?"

"Oh yeah..."

"Mind if we lose the jammies?"

"I thought you said they felt nice."

"They do, but you feel better."

"Oh oh oh ohohgodohgodokayokay!"

"On second thought, I'm really tired. Maybe I'll just go to sleep now.  Wow!  Doctor Jackson!  What a big tongue you haaammmmpph!"

"That'll teach you to sneak up on a guy when he's wearing his secret jammies."

"Oh yeah.  I'm taught.  I'm well and truly...chastised...Sooooo Danny?"

"Jack?"

"Wanna teach me another lesson?"

"I think further instruction is definitely indicated at this juncture."

"Juncture. Oooooh.  Big words.  Oh god, you know how I get when you throw vocabulary at me. Go on, hit me with another big one."

"Irascible."

"Ohhhhhh..."

"Incorrigible."

"Yeah, oh yeah, give me more!"

"Interstitial."

"Oh, yeah! Hurt me good, baby!  Give it to me,  give it to me,  you know what all those nasty syllables do to me!"

"And those are just the Is There's the whole rest of the alphabet to explore."

"Later. Right now I need you to be using that tongue for something else.  Yeah, that, that... right there. Oh, that's good.  That's better than good.  Oh boy.  Don't let it go to your head or anything, but I missed you."

"Missed me, or my tongue?"

"Talking! I hear talking!  Want to hear licking, slurping, gulping, not talking!"

"I missed you too, Jack.  You're much better than jammies."

"Talking!"

"You want me to stop talking? Fine, I'll stop talking. I'll just stop right...now!"

"Shit! ShitShitShit! Ah! Ah!  Ah! godgodgodgod! Dannnnyyyy!

"Much, much better than jammies.  Jack?  Oh, Ja-ack! Jack! Jack? Oh, I see. I get it. That's the game we're playing now, is it?  Get the archaeologist all worked up and fall asleep on him!   That's just...that's just so...so...you!  Thank God."

"So glad you're home.  Sweet dreams, Jack.  Sleep well, you son of a bitch!  I will get you for this.  I promise."

FINIS

On to What's Yours is Mine